A version of the screenplay for Oliver Stone’s new movie about George W. Bush — the working title is “W.” — has been floating around the news recently, and most people are curious as to whether it’s a joke. Tough call. On one hand, it is campy and politically over-the-top; on the other, it is post-1992 Oliver Stone film, like Alexander or Nixon. Slate read the script and picked out some choice moments, and one of them involves America’s president describing himself as a rabbit in a “carrot patch.” But who doesn’t?
- Pages 14-16: Before Laura is in the picture, W. dates Judy, “a blonde, curvaceous Texas cowgirl.” Judy needs a lot of reassurance: “How many times do I have to tell you, you’re my gal. I’m as happy as a rabbit in a carrot patch with you,” insists W. at a Texas bar.
- Page 45: W. treats his advisers like DKE pledges. He calls Wolfowitz “Wolfmeister” and at one point tells him to “think about trimmin’ those ear hairs.”
- Page 3: Cheney suggests that Iraq may just be the beginning. “Anyone can go to Baghdad. Real men go to Tehran,” says the VP. Pleased with this witticism, W. clinks his bottle of nonalcoholic beer against the VP’s coffee mug.
- Page 71: W. isn’t too happy when his father wins the presidency: “I’ll never get out of Poppy’s shadow,” he tells Laura. “They’ll all keep sayin’ what’s the boy ever done … I mean who ever remembers the son of a President?” Laura’s rejoinder is heavy with dramatic irony: “You forgot John Quincy Adams.”
- Page 25: When press secretary Ari Fleischer reports that Helen Thomas is asking around “about secret plans for military actions in Iraq” and wondering “what makes Saddam any different from other dictators,” W. flips out: “Did you tell her I don’t like motherfuckers who gas their own people?! Did you tell her I don’t like assholes who try to kill my father?! […] Did you tell her I’m going to kick his SORRY MOTHERFUCKING ASS ALL OVER THE MIDEAST?!”
This is also the script for Pirates of the Caribbean 3, as well as Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Top Gun.
Other famous movies about George W. Bush include The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, which is by most measures a fine film.