Rage-Filled Larry King’s Little League Rant!

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He is angry because his prostate hurtsCNN host Larry King, the only man in America older than John McCain, has a 9-year-old son who plays Little League baseball in Beverly Hills. And because Larry King grew up back when the sport was called “stickball” and involved tossing around a shrunken pig’s bladder stuffed with India ink, lignum vitae, and torn drafts of the Constitution, he is an Expert who coaches his son’s team. It appears that Coach King didn’t take his mood-control pills the other day, because he flew into a rage at an umpire!

“[Mr. King] was making a fool out of himself as a manager on the field, talking in the middle of the field in the middle of plays,” an insider told the New York Observer.

The umpire basically told him to chillax, gramps, which did not sit well with the 110-year-old crank, so he kept on bitching until he was “finally forced to watch the game from the outfield’s periphery.”

Another source disputes this version of events, saying that he wasn’t banished or anything but what do they know. Larry King is a timeless reptilian beast who shits on the dreams of children, for fun.

Larry King Confronts Little League Umpire [AOL Sports Blog]
Bad News Bear Bumped by Bev Hills Ump: CNN’s Larry King Pitches Fit at Son’s Little League Game [New York Observer]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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