McCain Will Be President Because His Current Wife Runs Beer/Nascar Industry

Here is John McCain, dressed in a Budweiser-NASCAR costume, with his $100-million-dollar wife, who owns Budweiser, and NASCAR hero and Iraq War promoter Dale Earnhardt (Junior), the president of the Confederacy.

Budweiser sponsors NASCAR and the Iraq War — the Budweiser race car is currently painted in Iraq War camouflage — while Cindy McCain’s Budweiser wholesaler/distributor in Arizona sponsored John McCain’s runs for the House and Senate. Budweiser also provides NASCAR/Budweiser war toys for children to John McCain’s war charity. Earnhardt, the closest thing most rednecks have to a Jesus, promotes the war charity and the sale of the war/beer toys for children which enriched McCain’s war charity.

Cindy’s beer company also employed John, in “public relations,” and he always does the corporate speeches for Budweiser. Also, one of his forgotten children from a forgotten earlier marriage, “Andy,” is employed by Cindy’s beer company.

Cindy’s dead dad got caught giving too much dirty campaign money to John McCain, back when Cindy’s dad was still alive.

What we mean to say, obviously, is this headline: Beer Executive Could Be Next First Lady.

Beer Executive Could Be Next First Lady [WTOP/AP]