Wonkette

$0.00 in the bank means new commercial = voiceover of old commercial.

Do people really sit around a table and discuss what they are going to do about bills? der, you pay them.

pure genius strategy to remind everyone again of your stupid fearmongering ad.

Its really convenient that they were able to shoot these scenes on the night where we saw the brightest moon ever.

I mean, seriously folks. By the way the light is pouring in through the windows, it must be 3AM during summer in northern Alaska.

@Serolf Divad: It just shows how frugal, wise and experienced she is at re-cycling old junk.

who is the jackass calling about the mortgage crisis at 3 in the morning ten months from now?

AHHH-ha-ha-ha.... apart from Bobby Knight making a surprise cameo, the funniest part of this commercial have to be: (1) "Hillary Clinton has a plan..." but then never divulging point one of said plan, and (2) the Pattonesque trumpet fanfare at 0:26-0:28...

Reporter: "They're curious about your pearl-colored pantsuit."

Clinton: "They're ivory. Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would wear a pearl-colored pantsuit."

McNasty will not use phones, but rather telegraph petinent info. He will, however, be up at 3am on account of his going problem.

Hillary wanted to hire Harry and Louise but they cost.

dear hillz-

if the phone is still ringing when you pick it up, its probably a different phone.

thanx,

weaselplasty

More stock footage and you know another sleeping kid all grown-up will come out as a McCain precinct captain.

Seriously, I think they are on auto-pilot over there since they stopped getting paid.

So, is her major campaign strategy is to convince us that she suffers from insomnia? "I will not be asleep at 3 AM like my lazy assed opponents. Since I will already be up, wondering where Bill is, I will totally answer any phone call that comes in at 3AM."

I'm beginning to worry about who's going to be manning the White House during the day, while she's catching up on her rest.

3 AM is prime boffin' time!

So, Hillar is saying the entire economy can be saved by a split second decision made at 3am? Damn, if only I paid more attention in my economics course.

i retract my last observation. the phone she picked up is a family about to go through foreclosure. the one ringing is the other line, presumably some eastern european despot.

@NotAnEvilLobbyist: Hillary* My spelling is how I earn the big bucks.

@katidid913: Insomnia? Try desperate addiction to meth that means that she can't sleep for more than fifteen jittery minutes at a time. Of course, she'll be spending her nights carpet surfing, not solving our economic problems, but at least she won't be asleep like certain old and/or black people she could mention.

I guess the Asian markets are still open at 3am EST, and the European ones are just starting. Other than that, this ad leaves me clueless.

Seriously, are they airing this?

What happened to the little girl who grew up to support Obama? Hillary Clinton lets her calls go to voicemail, I guess.

A financial crisis at 3am? What, did somebody knock over a Taco Bell? How many 3am phone calls will she take regarding the status of the Sri Lankan stock exchange before she rips the cord out of the wall?

@demtard: I can't believe this is on purpose.

Again with the phone? I look forward to this ad distilled to its purest essence in the coming weeks: "It's 3 a.m. Black people answer the phone like this, but white people answer the phone like this."

But one question: If you "mis-speak" because you're "sleep-deprived", will you really be "Ready on Day One" to answer that "3 AM phone call"?

it's 3 a.m. and mark penn is calling his plumber - again

@spangledangel: Hillary only misspeaks on 12-year intervals, where she is answering 3 AM calls CONSTANTLY.

What I got from this is that if I'm up doing my taxes at three in the morning, I can call Hillary Clinton and ask her about a deduction. She'd answer the phone, whereas Barry Hussein won't even give a guy a lousy photograph, much less personally help me with my economic situation (at 3 AM).

Fun watching this one implode, really, and even more so knowing that for once a candidate going broke and sounding desperate has nothing to do with the actions of Joe Trippi.

@katidid913:
That's exactly what I was thinking. For whatever reason she cannot sleep. (Wondering where Bill is perhaps?) And the other candidate that she thinks is qualified is asllep at 3 a.m. and 3 p.m..

I just can't believe they are going to run this ad. I'm beyond snark, wit, or sarcasm. This is just unbelievable.

Hillary can't come up with an ad that makes ANY sense. John McCain watches The Hills before bed each night while on the phone with his gal pal Lindsey Graham, and Barack Obama would like to speak to voters rather than be harrassed by some jackass who wants to sell a picture on ebay.

Who ever should I choose?

@demtard: My thoughts exactly. Is she worried about the Nikkei? Was she unaware of the mortgage foreclosure problems during ordinary business hours? Why is there a credit cruch at 3am? Is it because none of the banks are open in middle of the fucking night?

What time does Sinbad call?

She's up at 3a.m. because she's still dodging sniper fire.

I look forward to the hilarious "Sinbad claims Clinton constantly asleep during Bosnia tour" rebuttal story.

Hillary: My hate for you knows no bounds.... where is Bill and why isn't he yelling at the children? Think of the children dammit!

I'm sorry, no Hillary flunkie is gonna have the balls to call her at 3am and risk being gutted.

The 3 a.m. phone call: "Hill, yeah, the police station, again. And no matter what those cops say, I didn't bite that stripper."

Doesn't anyone ever call the WH at 2 am? What about THOSE calls!!

Actually, it was her broker in Dubai telling her to SELL SELL SELL!

Hillarybot 2008 has had her sleep chip removed. New subprogramming routines enable her to run at nearly complete operation 24/7 with only a .5% chance of major malfunctions during any given 24-hour period.

In the words of the magics wielding Willow of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Bored now [of the Hillary campaign]."

I don't get it. She should be president because she's nocturnal?

@Schadenfriend: Hillary plots how to turn America into a province of Communist China every time she gets up to pee in the middle of the night.

@Schadenfriend: She should be President because the black man will attack your sleeping daughter and the white man will embezzle your life savings.

That nonthreateningly attractive black couple at 0:19 while the phone keeps ringing is clearly supposed to symbolize the Obamas. Why is Hills so into touting her fucking red phone ad? Does she still think she won Texas?

If it was "2am" and not "3am" in this stuff, someone in her campaign could be (sub?)consciously acting out old Golden Earring song lyrics:

"Somewhere in a lonely hotel room
there's a woman starting to realize
that eternal fate
has turned it's back on her. ... It's 3am."

Idunno.

Bill collectors cannot call at 3am. There are state laws. To which Hillary responds, "But what if they did...WHAT IF THEY DID?!"

If at first you don't succeed...
Run the stupid fucking ad again.

Shouldn't Hills have her cankles in the air at 3am?

What did little girl (0:05) say now that she's all grown up (kinda)? "Stop using me to make political points I don't agree with, Hillary!" She isn't stopping ... now, little girl is to pack up her bags and head off to bunk with her aunt in Topeka?!? Now she's really upset!

While I was hanging out at RezkoWatch.org, it occurred to me you all are too cruel to Our Gurl. She does know about 3 a.m. phone calls from angry debt collectors, many of whom are former small business owners in Texas and/or Ohio whose "event promotion" biz just hit the can because some Presidential campaign has got a bad case of slow pay. The Ohio ones might get answered. Our Gurl won there.

"Madam President, rice futures on the Bangkok exchange are down 50%! What do we do?"

@DirkLeisure: Buy more shares of frozen concentrated orange juice.

I have a counter-attack ad all ready:

VOICEOVER:
It's 1961 at the F Street Club. The inauguration of John F. Kennedy is taking place on television. Retiring White House physician General Howard Snyder worries aloud to former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Arthur Radford regarding Kennedy's medical condition: "I hate to think of what might happen to the country if Kennedy is required at 3 AM to make a decision affecting the national security."

Little did he know that 47 years later, a glorified Amway saleswoman would be running for president, running attack ads which plagiarized his statement to try and bring down a guy everybody likes better than her.

Quote from: 'Brothers: The Hidden History of the Kennedy Years' by David Talbot

If she finished up her work during office hours like she should, people wouldn't be bothering her at 3 AM for the stuff they were promised at EOB the day before

"People criticize me for being shrill, annoying, and incessant...clearly the best strategy is to associate my name with the constant ringing of an unanswered telephone."

I would expect more from the White House PBX system. No autoattendant? No voicemail? At least have an "It's 3 AM" pickup schedule. And buy a phone that at least doesn't ring AFTER YOU PICK IT UP.

Sorry. My dad's a telephone engineer.

People, there's a perfectly good reason that Hillaryous is always awake at 3 AM. Now that Mark Penn has chewed his way through millions from her campaign coffers with his humungous donut habit, she no longer has the cash on hand to pay her staff's health care premiums.

You expect her to sleep when people's very fates depend on her solvency? My Gawd, what kind of a monster do you think she is?

Um, never mind.

Love the pouty lower lip, glistening with pink gloss -- how does she do it?

Answering the 3 AM phone call in full makeup - no wonder the phone was ring a little too long.

@katidid913: I agree, this whole nocturnal WH is weird. Then again, it's natural for vampires and other monsters to be nocturnal and this is the campaign of the undead.

@Tits_LaRue: That is pure gold.

It's 3am. There's a phone ringing in the WH. There's an economic situation.... Bill needs bail money.

Brrring, brrring rings the red Treasury Dept. phone.

"Hello, this is President Hillary Rodham Clinton."

"You sound surprisingly awake for 3 a.m. EMERGENCY! THE NIKKEI IS DOWN 200 POINTS!"

Ad can be 10000x better, have her pick up the bat phone.

Hills, I expect a check in the morning.

@Tawmn: I just started that book and when I read that, I did a very cartoon-like doubletake, (with sound effects!) :o

Wow, times are going to be tough under President Clinton II. Even her creator, the kindly, white-haired puppeteer Gepetto with his half-moon spectacles, is facing financial ruin.

Good thing bad stuff only happens at 3 a.m.! That lets a sleep-deprived President plan ahead! I for one want -- no, demand! -- a whole series of "It's 3 a.m., and something awful is creeping up on your sleeping children, except for the one who went to work for Obama because she got fed up with this weird house where anybody can wander in at 3 a.m." ads.

Also, I just hate it when "markets teeter."

Where are the Jerky Boys when you need them?

She'll probably tele-Rickroll us by the end of the campaign.

It's 3am...NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP...

The whole Bosnia sniper fire fiasco was explained as sleep deprivation lies and now the bitch wants us to feel better that she's answering the phone at 3:00 AM? Make up your f*ing mind, Hil!

No, no, I've got it now -- this whole ad strategy is based on "Wonderpets," the TV show known to anybody with a four-year-old. Hence the phone, the phone that is always ringing...somebody's in trouble somewhere...and the Wonderpets answer the phone and save the day. But does Hillary have a flying boat and a singing turtle? Because you need those things.

I seem to remember an old 80's song called 3AM Eternal. Who knew some trashy euro-band knew this was coming so long ago.

For every problem in existence, There's a 3 a.m. ad Hillary can use against her opponent. Healthcare, global warming, the Commies. Heck, perhaps even a space alien invasion. The least she can do is pick a new time of the night to try and SCARE THE HELL OUT OF VOTERS!!!!!

@T.H.H.E._Dog: Uh... The ad was targeted toward John McCain and even if Hillary isn't the nominee, the point could be transferable to Obama. Unless of course, you don't think he's ready, either.

Turn those machines back on! Good point, since when does the stock market tank @ 3:00 AM? Hillarys campiagn people sholud be fired. I have to give them an F- for imagination.

HRC: "Hello, this is President Clinton. Yes. Uh uh. I see. OK. It's 3:00 AM. Let's formulate a plan--right now--to address systematic market failures that requires a high order of complexity and the participation of hundreds of professionals and legislators! Dammit!"

It's 3 AM, and your children are safe asleep. But your phone's ringing! It could be important, or it could be a telemarketer, a junk faxer, a debt collection agency, a political robocall, or some other group that the experienced candidate has had experience in protecting through favorable legislation. Heck, maybe it's just the NSA getting the wires crossed in their listening devices again.

This November, be sure to vote for the experienced candidate, the one that's experienced in maintaining the status quo, to ensure that you keep having the same experiences you've been having since parachute pants were "in" for at least another eight years.

Its 3:00 AM, and the phone is ringing, this time it's the sewage treatment workers who have gone on strike. Before they left, they closed all of the effluent valves. Fortunately for America, Hillary Clinton never sleeps, I mean how can she when Bill has been out whore-mongering all night. Hillary has a degree in wastewater processing and is also capable of replicating herself 826 times and can personally re-open all of the shut valves. If it weren't for Hillary Clinton, America would be waking up to a sh*tty mess.