Hey look, here’s our new feature, Inside the Obama Cult, by Wonkette intern and Obama volunteer Justin Charity, pictured here at an actual Obama rally:
Are you willing to die for Barack Obama? For weeks, his campaign has been recruiting legions of disgruntled Bill Richardson interns and mercenary college graduates to beat back General Clinton’s advances into the Eastern colonies. These Obama organizing “fellows” are being deployed to the front-lines of Pennsylvania, North Carolina and, uh, some other random states to assist Obama in his efforts to overthrow the 1990s.
Obama’s insurgency is set to launch its full-scale foray into depths of rural America around June 5, against the battle-tested belligerent and presumed Republican nominee, Hillary Rodham Clinton. For now, the campaign’s ground forces have been constrained to guerrilla operations in the uncontested regions of the South and the Midwest, as well as the remaining frontiers of America’s East Coast.
Per the Obama campaign’s own internal communications:
Fellows will be trained on the basics of organizing & campaign fundamentals and then placed in a community to carryout grassroots activities.
Fellows will be asked to commit to a minimum of 30 hours per week.
We are going to be releasing the formal application in a matter of days, but I wanted to let you know about it early so that you can start spreading word to your friends.
The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of middle America. Spread the word.
Have a question about the Obama Cult? Ask Wonkette intern and real-life Obama college-student volunteer Justin Charity! Just send us an email here with “Hey Justin tell me about Obama” as the subject line.