Mystical Pennsylvania Foodstuffs Confuse NYT Reporter

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In Pennsylvania, the savages eat very bizarre foods, and it is polite for the candidates to taste the native fare in order to appear “common.” One political reporter for the liberal New York Times cannot comprehend how anyone would eat these strange foods. For example: how do “cheese” and “fries” ever find themselves together? Haven’t these Pennsylvanians ever heard of a BALSAMIC REDUCTION?

Here is how Michael Powell describes the wrenching scene, with a key witness report from his “college son”:

Question to our Keystone State readers: What is it with this Pennsylvania fetish for bizarre world food combinations? In Johnstown, this New Yorker encountered the artery-clogging prospect of cheese-fries. And here in this diner in a perfectly lovely corner of this Berks County we come upon the Marvel Mess, a sandwich combining eggs, potatoes, onions, cheese, green peppers and Shiva only knows what else. (And in Philadelphia, my college son Nick tells me they serve up a sandwich called the Roethlisberger, named after the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, which sound so utterly and purely disgusting in its bouillabaisse combination of mystery meats and cheeses and coarse spices, as to induce a stomach-throbbing ache just hearing of it).

Eggs, potatoes, onions, cheese, green peppers — THE DEVIL’S FOODS, as “Shiva only knows.” Imagine the “coarse spices” they must put on those “cheese-fries,” like maize or other such Savage things.

Tempting Obama on the Trail [NYT via Independence Brawl]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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