Wonkette

Newell, you are prolific this afternoon. Denton make you guys hit a weekly quota or something?

So President Barack is going to provide me with gas money and free food, but what about my other... needs? What I'm saying is, can I fuck him?

Barack Obama: The Godless, Liberal, Muslim, Racist, Black Panther, Misogynist, Affirmative Action, Cult Leader President that Traitorous Americans have been waiting for!

I'll believe this when I see it! All politicians are controlled by the oil companies. Any that say they're not are either lying or they just don't know it yet.

damn, some black guy at the gas station keeps asking people for change and he won't take no for an answer. i'm surprised no one's called the cops yet.

@jagorev:
Get in line.

@Senator Boomdog: 10, daily. I have done 9 today. Have a nice weekend!

You can't spell change without h-o-p-e or c-a-n. and the letter 'g'.

@donocaster: there's this forum called above top secret. You might find a good home there.

@JimNewell: wow, but I've never seen the ticker up top say more than 30 in 24 hours. I guess you are 'Boxer' around here? Well keep up the good work!

But what of ass, or grass?

So,is he saying Exxon is the Jeremiah Wright of corporate America?

@dupontd: 10 is just mine. Who knows what "back room deal" the others have worked out.

@AngryBlakGuy: You FINALLY get it!

Thanks!

@JimNewell: Next you're going to tell us the Wonkette t-shirts are made in Malaysian sweatshops. Ha, ha. Ha?

He's running this in PA as well

I swear when I played it slow Barry said, "I don't take money from oil companies or Washington lobbyists like the Walmart board member from Chicago who went to Arkansas and then stole a New York Senate seat."

@Publican:

+ Watch video

I want Obama's coat.

He'll fill 'er up, wipe the windshield, check the oil and the tires, and bring you Change you can believe in.

@jagorev: Kristen? I think it works the other way around (maybe for all of us!).

@Motortruck: I'm not sure at all that you meant it that way, but I'm going to go ahead and assume you "is a racialist" and hate America. Despite the fact that I don't know you or whether you were "joking" or whether you were commenting on others being racialist, I'm going to "disavow" and "reject" your remarks; get my opposition operatives to make a condemning video of them; and submit them to YouTube. Then I will link to it on every MSM comment site on the internets until you are Keith Olberman's Worst Person in the World. I think by Tuesday I can make HRC demand that Wonkette ban your comments because "hate" in any context is unforgivable. Oorrrr, I could say, "not this time, not this election," and use my judgment to determine that you were, in fact, making an "edgy" joke on a site celebrating satire.

@DancyPants: Why do you hate good old-fashioned service stations? Why do you despise uniforms and bowties and honest business smiles? What, pray tell, is wrong with cold pop and MoonPie? Remember - letting others pump it for you is what made this country great!

@Motortruck: That's what she said.

@Motortruck: that's what she said.

bitchin'

Hey, I just remembered, I've got 18 shares of Exxon. Got a total return of 13.62% per year for the last ten years (before taxes). And I never even knew I was evil. Thanks Barry !! I feel so hopeful now.

That's all well and good but whose going to pay for my hobo. They aren't just going to wet themselves... Oh, right.

Nevermind.

What? I don't vote.

Whose idea was the black trenchcoat? Not a good look for Barry...makes him look even thinner....he needs a new stylist and fast! I would offer my services but I am too busy surfing wonkette all day. A girl has to set her priorities!

This isn't just an ad. Barry walked up to me yesterday while I was filling up and gave this same speech.

I strongly suspect that if someone invented a way to get vast power from bananas (Mr. Fusion), Exxon et al would suddenly become the massive banana providers for the world. Same chimps, different zoo.

@The Precautionary Whale: You can't complain that the coat makes him look thinner.

He's so thin he would look fat if he turned sideways. You could thread him through the eye of a needle, he's so thin.

He's skinnier than a spaghetti on heroin.

Etc etc etc.

This ad would be far more effective if Barry was delivering these hopeful words from behind the wheel of a Prius while sipping a vanilla latte.