Wonkette

Is my mother going to let a fattie go down on her? I can't promise that.

Is my mother going to lie brazenly and repeatedly to the American people? Possibly.

What, is Obama her father?

"Give me back my left eye, Mommy. I'll be good."

Chelz looks like a stunt double for the lead on "Miss Guided".

Well, I won't choose. I hate both your parents, Chelsea.

"Better" from Monica's perspective? I don't think so.

"get out there and tell Americans, at least the stupid ones in PA that I'll be so much better at the president thing then Daddy was, my dear. And if you don't I'll make 'em ask you about that fat chick who blew him, and if you still don't convince them to vote for me, well then, it's lights out for ol' Socks.

Translation: when mommy wins the Demrat nom after killing the black hope peddling/lecturer/fake prof/pansy who never endured sniper fire in Tuzla and then eating his brains while screaming "Mine! MINE! ALL MINE!"

"And let me just add, that in making the aforementioned and completely spontaneous declaration in favor of the Senator to the apparent detriment of the former President Clinton, I would point out that I in no way intend to disparage or otherwise sully the repuation or integrity of that great and wise man, but instead -- and to the contrary -- wish to imply that, in furthering both the name and legacy of former President Clinton, the Senator, my mother, will burnish that illustrious ... uh ... that illustrious ... Oh my God, I can't go on ... I'm turning INTO MY MOTHER!! SHOOT ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, KILL ME NOW! I BEG YOU!!!"

Yes, the more I see/hear about Chelz, the less i like her. But her 2102 playboy spread should still be awesome.

She does have pretty hands. And nice, long fingers. I'M SORRY

You mean she threw him under a Hummer.

I liked her better when she didn't talk in public. Her voice is way too much like her mother's.

damn, everybody is giving chelsea the shit questions, but i guess that's what she gets if she wants to be our first teenage president.
and on the subject, anyone asked yet whether she wears bikinis or thongs?

@BaconCat: Playboy's going to start doing spreads on 122-year old women? This is very exciting.

@jagorev: Dislexia isn't funny.

Okay, it's terribly funny.

@metropolitan:
Well thanks for that mental image.
Now I have to give myself an icepick lobotomy just to get through the day.

She shoulda got all righteously indignant and told that asshole it was none of his business.

@scott_dog: The mental image of Chelsea in a bikini or thong is disturbing? What is WRONG with you?

Has anybody noticed that Chelsea is awesomely hot one day and the next she looks like Bill in drag?

WTF!?!

I think the "I don't want to take anything for granted" thing translates as, "assuming the highest form of life on earth on January 20, 2009, isn't giant cockroaches."

Wait, was the question "show me your best Lewinsky pose?" Because if so, she's got it all wrong. You've got to cup the balls, Chelsea, not give them a high five! Sheesh.

When she was asked if she thought her mother would be a better president than her father and she admitted she couldn't take anything for granted, I presume she was discounting for the possibility that DNA tests would prove her dad isn't her dad, if you get my drift.

@jagorev: Not a big fan of the horseface. I don't like Julia Roberts either.

@BluntObjects:
Real life "Two-Face" from Seinfeld.

My gypsy-ish blood has endowed me with a blessed left sided evileye that automatically shoots up into a high pointed arch pointing directed at the hearts of all evil doers.

Well Chelsea doesn't have one of those - but she did make that comment with a very nasty bitchie-ish Hillary Jr. attitude.

"The noise comes from above and it makes me ill."

If only the reporter had been 8 years old, then she could have just declined to answer .

She probably made that statement knowing that her father has nailed most of her friends while her mother only fantasizes about nailing her friends. So far, anyway.

I'd still do her, dammit!

@FerdBerfel: And she does that annoying "I am so right" nod when she finishes a particularly stupid comment, just like her ma.

Bitchy mom always beats Creepy Dad who hugs just a little too long.

So, when can we expect Chelsea to gain her foreign policy experience and her military combat OJT to run on her own and head the ticket in 2016--experienced, old enough, and ready to lead on January 20?

Choosey mom's choose Chelsea. Dad's have more important shit to think about, like when that intern'll be back with the fucking pizze.

PS - I do her, even knowing that it wouldn't be that good.

err... pizza

@Tracer_Bullet:

Yeah, that'll be a good subliminal message... "Hillary: She'll chase less tail than Bubba!"

@Plato_to_Nato: "...Monica's perspective..."
That girl looked up to Bill Clinton.

Poor Chelsea - safer to dis a flim flam man than dis a monster.

"Well, obviously I don't think she could possibly be any worse. But I guess the only way to find out is to elect her. C'mon, Pennsylvania, roll the dice!"

Well, guess she'll still need a few more years of therapy then. Session 1158: Trying Not To Make It Clear You Think Your Dad's a Douche.

Nobody puts Bubba in the corner.

@BaconCat: 'But her 2102 playboy spread should still be awesome.'

I do hope you mean her '2012' Playboy spread, cuz by 2102 she'll be lookin' pretty skanky? (and of course I'll be dead, thank god!)

And then all the womyns gave Chelz a standing ovary-ation.

@FerdBerfel: Not only that but in general she seems to be very similar to her. Watch her run years from now.

@orangepixistix: Send in the clones!

'So my mom would TOTALLY make a good president. She lies, cheats, and steals better than Al Capone.'

@HowInsaneIsJohnMcCain: Awesome

Chelsea-"...she will be our next President..."
Hill-"I told you, it's WILL, Goddamn it. Don't hesitate you ungrateful bitch"

What is Chelsea Clinton doing on the campaign trail? She doesn't know much about politics, she's not an especially riveting speaker, she doesn't say anything substantial or in-depth, her speeches are bland, she doesn't engage people on an intellectual level at any time, and she gets childishly, amateurishly defensive whenever anyone asks a probing, intelligent and challenging question. And people are way over the cute 28-year-old blond thing. When your mother is running for president, a dumb war is waging and killing innocent people, gas prices are stupid and the economy is tanking, there's far more to worry about than just another cute 28-year-old blond. When does she go back to New York?