Wonkette
After weeks of extensive research, we have at last determined why Alan Keyes won the Constitution Party Straw Poll: because he is a member of this party! That's right, he is no longer a Republican. How long ago did he change parties? Probably about a million years ago, but nobody noticed because this is the story of Alan Keyes' life. He does something vaguely interesting or newsworthy, and several years or months later somebody says "Huh," and goes back to what they were doing. [Conservative Pulse]
flip-floppers
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Alan Keyes may talk like an Eddie Murphy impression of a white guy, but he jumps in Michael Moore's mosh pit. That is some serious populi cred.
Check it out, Wonkette -- Alan Keyes is now TIED in that straw poll, as the amount of surveys has DOUBLED:
[www.constitutionparty.com]
When will we hear more about Pastor Chuck Baldwin? Just as he was thwarted by WALNUTS!mentum, will BALDMENTUM ruin Keyes's shot at the Constitution Party Nomination?
It must be incredibly embarrassing to be his kid.
The Constitution Party - plenty of Tom Collins mix, no Grenadine.
Huh.
That must be the party that runs on the "Shun Thy HOMO Kid!" platform.
AKA- the party with views even too batshit crazy for the neocons.
Also please note that in the straw poll for "second choice," despite being the only candidate listed, Al only receives 50 percent of the votes.
Mike Gravel/Libertarian or Alan Keyes. Who to choose?
Actually, it's an easy choice. I think one thing we can all agree on -- Keyes is batty.
How are does Keys have a vote for first, a vote for second and a vote for third choice if only 2 surveys have been taken?
@Pupster: Not only embarrassing, but actually downright miserable. His daughter is a lesbian and according to her when she came out she was evicted from the family.
I would like to read Keyes' policies, but they are hand-painted on particle board and bleeding into the side margins in increasingly smaller type where I can only make out the words in all-caps...
Keyes/Paul '08! Fuck Yeah!
Oh, where to start. This is too easy.
+ Watch video
And it's a twofer with Ron Paul.
@Advocatus_Diaboli:
RIGHT ON! KEYES/PAUL '08!
alan keyes, mike gravel, cynthia mckinney, ralph nader... such a mess.
maybe it would be better if we just had two big political parties that represent wide swaths of ideology run against each other instead of all these warring parties. if we only had to deal with two parties a winner would have already come out ahead and had a chance to stabilize the financial markets and to prepare to deal with iraq.
@metropolitan: hahaha! Or if they could just get under the Leibermentum party umbrella. Gramentum, Mcmentum, Namentum, Keymentum!
Allen Keyes once had a dream that he wandered into the audience of one of his speeches, didn't recognize himself and turned to his neighbor and asked, "Who the hell is this nut?" Then the terrible truth set in.
...this guy is 12 different flavors of bat shit crazy. Someone get him a Hillary button QUICKLY!
@Pupster: Actually, Maya Keyes is pretty fucking awesome. She's all, "yeah, gay-hating conservative asshole Dad, I'm a complete lesbian!" Put that on the Christmas card and smoke it.
But if he wins in November as Constitution Party leader, won't he just be three-fifths of a President? I think we should hold out for more, 'coz the three-fifths of President concept hasn't worked so well with Bush. [I hear he's been putting away three fifths every day!]
The REAL Dream Team ticket for '08? Alan Keyes/Vermin Supreme!!!
@Eac_o_System: I was wondering what Ron Paul has been doing with all that 'Running for President' money he got. He's making snappy graphics!
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