Wonkette

You are the not-gonna-change you've been waiting for.

Actually,I've been waiting for the Alien Sex Fiend President...

Somebody should ask McCain about the Gulf of Tonkin provocation, and whether it was false flag.

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John McCain,The Manchurian Candidate?
2/28/2008

I missed the "George W. Bush: The blithering-idiot President that blithering-idiot Americans have been waiting for" spots in 2000 and 2004, but they must've been out there because they worked so well.

Sorry, this is snarkless.

I think it's repugnant that McCain uses torture - his or anyone else's - to curry sympat... I mean, votes. What a loathsome, worthless piece of dog crap.

I apologise for the desnarkified comment. Please do continue.

I think the voiceover guy does the Quizno's Flatbread Sammies commercial. They're great taste in a smaller size. Everytime I see that commmerical I get so hungry I bite my sofa.

Do you think he asked to be videotaped?

"This is going to make me President someday!"

Actually, do you think that he asked to be tortured?

The way he kept going was by repeating, "This will help me become President someday!" as they tortured him.

Not being able to do the wave at football games is a small price to pay to become the American President America has been waiting for.

The VO sounds like James Earl Jones, which fits in nicely with him doing Darth Vader.

This is a fine self-parody

You guys don't get it. You gotta love him because he was tortured in the war. And it hurt. That's how he got his walnut cheeks. [video.google.com]

Blah, blah. A "fur'ner" is going to be our prezeedent. Not a Muslim black who claims Am'ri-kanship.

Meanwhile, hello? Am I the only one who noticed our own American born Diplo-princess Condi just confirm that black people don't think that the slavery business republicans are sick of apologizing for was, in fact, real?! With real consequences and all? Didja see that? Oh hey, Pat Buchannan's head just crashed through my computer. Hello, there.

Condi-Wright '08!

@Chiraq: I counter the Condi thesis that Black slavery was a "birth defect" in the original Constitution, with the theory that Black America is a human computational experiment to generate innovative political solutions for the future of the global industrial enterprise. Kind of like the pressure cooker of monasteries in Ancient India and Tibet.

The Civil War was not about slavery. It was the equivalent of the French Revolution, the foundation of the modern nation state status of America.

Was McCain smoking in his interrogation bed? Think of the children!

@Nigerian Business Executive: I'm with you. This is pretty disgusting.

The Civil War was about losing, and how the South could do it as flamboyantly as possible, because it is the one thing they are great at, losing, flamboyantly.

@carleauxthepup: Seriously! He's like the damn Marlboro man. How bad could the Hanoi Hilton have been if they let you have cigs?

@weazel: Now now. We make mighty fine grits too.

Awww. Quit pickin on him. Someday you're gonna be as old as him and then wadda ya gonna to do? That's right. You're gonna die. Just like any other old crusty piece-o-crap. Your gonna die! Now get off my lawn. Punks.

Barack Obama: The Muslim Christian racist homo commie negro Mexican America-hater I have been waiting for.

Whereas the North wins ugly. I totally admit it. And the South invented rock n' roll. Thank you, man.

Like a Lexis commercial? As in, LexisNexis, the online research database? I think you meants it's like a Lexus commercial. As in, the car that gives you the automatic right of way as a 4-way stop.

@FoggyFroggy: The Civil War wasn't about slavery or states' rights. It was about making the South our bitch.

@Merkin: I will say though, that if in the service of my country I were ever horribly tortured for even, like, thirty minutes, much less six years, I would probably never stop reminding people of it.

It would reach the point where I was mentioning it to truckstop waitresses, like, for a free coffee or something.

At least he hasn't made the whole, "Obama and I were in Asia at the same time, but I was being tortured and he was a seven year old playing in the sand..." thing.

America.

@FoggyFroggy: Goddamnit, doesn't the FCC give a shit about anything? This dipshit says, "I never got in-country"--which means he never went to Vietnam--but that as a Vietnam veteran he was "in the jungles over there." That doesn't make any fucking sense.

@Senator Boomdog: Obama has to renounce his islamo-mexican-america hating past, say 10 Hail Marys, wear 20 flag pins on his lapel, sing God Bless America at the top of his lungs 30 times (one hand on heart, other on Bible), don 15 support-the-troops bumper magnets on an SUV with mileage <15 MPG, and pass 5 flag-burning amendments to atone for his hatred of America before America-loving Americans will vote for him as American President of America.

Forget about Obama. If I was the current occupant of the White House, I might want to know what that slogan means, exactly.

The American John American McCain American That America's Been Waiting In America For While Being Americans! GOD BLESS AMERICAN AMERICANS!

After this, I want to see footage of McCain pissing red white and blue stripes out of his American urethra.

Slavery! Fuck yeah! The Gap! Fuck yeah! Bed Bath and Beyond! Fuck yeah! Books! ...

They've done so much photoshop facelifting there to hide the wrinkles and liverspots, he looks like a shiny new McCain-shaped balloon in those pictures.

McCain can't even do his own voice over? Obama does his own voice overs AND writes his own speeches. How's that for reducing outsourcing?

Voiceover Guy: "And what is the one and only thing John McCain has ever done in his life that makes him qualified to be President?"

[cut to uncomfortably long clip of McCain being tortured]

So surviving torture is the most important qualification of a President these days? Can we apply that retroactively?

McCrazy has been sucking on the Gov't/DOD teet since birth.

He is very DANGEROUS man.

@CakeHate: Silly you. That's not nearly enough. But you do manage to approach the Sisyphean feat he is being asked to achieve.

So, if Walnuts is the American President that Americans have been waiting for, what the hell does that make W?

Geezer? Come on, I know I'm not the only one looking at that torture clip and wishing I'd been born two hundred years ago.

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[www.democraticunderground.com]
McCain says he would have authorized the Iraq War even if he knew there were no WMD.

@weazel: That VO is most certainly not Michael Clarke Duncan (aka John Coffey, from The Green Mile)...not enough basso profundo.

Still, MmmmMmmmToasty!

The VO is Powers Boothe. He is the villain gunned down in the river by Snake Plissken in the film Tombstone. His most recent acting credit was as a treasonous (and adulterous) POTUS hell bent on starting WWIII on the hit show 24. Jack Bauer kicked his ass.

Panama must be disgusted with what patriotic bull-spewer they've created. While he's not as bad as W. Bush since he didn't actually start the war ... he's still a cucumber I wouldn't want to pickle.

@FloraWay: Clearly, Mccain is a Viet Cong plot to annoy America.

Juan McCain has a solution for you folks...

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was it just me or did he sound confused / frightened / terribly, terribly alone during his ad approval?

Another liar, coward, betrayer and crook as president ?? to destroy the US further? together with the asshole, ZioNazi Bush(real Nazi name=Scherff)-puppet Sarkozy ? No, don't give war criminals any power.
Seems there are no honest republican politicians anymore.

[www.dailymail.co.uk]

The Bush's are mega war criminals allowed by the republican criminal war party of war profiteers. McCain is another war criminal as Sarkozy is a war criminal.
McCain intend to continue this illegal criminal war of oil thieves for 100 years against Iraq to spread hunger and misery in Iraq as wel in the USA (already over 1,6 million in Ohio depending of food stamps).

McCain is absolutely not a hero. He is one of the many criminal pilot-cowards which bombed and killed civilians in another illegal criminal imperial colonial war. He survived thanks to kind Vietnamese people. But McCain showed his real nature with his lies about escaping as a hero.
Seems also the Americans did not learn anything from this illegal and terrible Vietnam-war and murdering millions of Vietnamese civilions.
Yet, the USA, the super liar NeoCon war criminal Blair with the Brutons and other pre-colonial fascist puppet-countries destroyed, occupied and colonized another country Iraq just for the oil. Question to the USA and their NATO-puppets: which country next to destroy , occupy and colonize ?

Sarkozy as a NeoCon NWO-puppet proposed to nuke Iran being already a war crime.

All those war criminals will be tried one day before the International Criminal Court and must be hanged for crimes against humanity.

Just look to: [www.dailymail.co.uk]
to see a similar coward, liar and crook as the bastard in the White House.

@Senator Boomdog: you forgot sportsmanship.

That ain't classical music. But it's a decent MIDI library.

Also that's a creepy trailer for a movie I want to skip.