Wonkette
Hey everybody, remember Jessica Cutler? No? Well, a long time ago there was this Senate staffer aide and she had sex — including sex in the butt! — with men who gave her money or other valuables in exchange for the sex. This was different from all other human relationships because she, Jessica Cutler, made a blog about this, five years ago, when blogs were kind of a new thing. So how is she obviously involved with the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal?
It was a far more innocent time, that much is certain: Can you imagine anyone giving a shit about some gal writing about her boyfriends on a blog in 2008? But she actually, briefly became notorious, and then she very quickly took off her clothes for a Playboy photographer, and got a book advance, and apparently wrote a book about this fascinating experience, and nobody bought it and she was broke and begging for Paypal donations shortly thereafter and couldn't pay her lawyers and then went bankrupt and then a year or so later Media Bistro was calling her a whore.
She also got fired from her job as a secretary in some Capitol Hill office, which is why, according to the New York Post, she is now "involved" with the fourth or fifth New York brothel where Eliot Spitzer was a frequent client:
Four years after her blog "Washingtonienne" shocked the Capitol with salacious details of sex with married sugar daddies, Jessica Cutler has re-appeared as a "model" on alleged madam Kristin "Billie" Davis' Web site.
Only four years? It totally feels like five, or seven. Anyway, Cutler hasn't exactly denied she's a hooker:
Asked yesterday if she worked as an escort, the temptress said: "I can't talk about that."
There. Now everybody can stop emailing this fucking story to us, the end.
'MADAM' LINK TO DC VIXEN [New York Post]
Comments
Yes.
Jeebus, this guy fucked every female on the planet. When did he find time to destroy Wall Street and sandbag his enemies in Albany?
That woman in the photo looks like a man.
I'm nearly certain that this guy was in an episode of Highlander. He wasn't the one.
...once everyones home is foreclosed on and your credit card are maxed out we all are going to be WHORES! Happy whoring everyone!
Oh please someone ask her if Butterstick leaves his socks on.
Kristin Davis is the scary one (last pic in the Post slide show). She looks like the offspring of Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson. Gaaack.
@FoggyFroggy: ...if it has tits and long hair, don't ask questions! Thats my motto!!!
Are you sure that's not Ann Curry from "Today" on NBC? Haha.
she's startin to look a lil old... too much butt secks?
The first photo in the Post article is an example of really crappy photoshopping. Or maybe her head can be unattached from her neck which would be a good option for a customer who just wants a little head.
whoa ken, calm down. seems like you could use Cutler's help right now...
@AngryBlakGuy: You seem like a nice guy so let me offer you a piece of advice - stay out of Gold's gym.
The hooker who Wonkette rode to the mainstream is now a hooker again. Which means Wonkette is no longer mainstream? I'm confused.
Also, why no "assfucking" tag?
holy shit, i just read that and was about to send it to you.
but anyway, i'm confused, is the big deal about all these expensive hookers that they take it up the butt without a condom like spitzer liked? can somebody clarify, i want to make sure before i blow my $4000.
On such things mighty mendacious careers at America's shittiest newsmagazine (Time) are built.
@metropolitan: $4,000 better involve rawdog and an extra muscle somewhere.
Geez, with that face, are you sure we're not talking about the kind of hooker that would fuck Jim McGreevey?
@metropolitan: I'd pay $4,000 for the original Polaroid of Liz Glover with Ron Paul.
@metropolitan: yes*100, shemale
Who's Ginger? I bet she likes assfucking! (Just kidding, AMC)
@metropolitan: now that's some hotness right there.
@metropolitan: There is a better photo out there of the duo on the Google Imagewebs. I'm too much a gentleman to post it here.
Many senate staffers go one to be lobbyists, so it's not terribly surprising that Jessica might whore herself out, too.
she's uglier than i remembered. and she let a guy put it in her butt for a dress. a stupid fucking pink and green dress from Lily Pulitzer.
cutler used to be pretty hot, but what's up with all these hookers looking like trannies?
@liquiddaddy: watch out she could ban you!
@Senator Boomdog: I have no such compunction:
Come on! It's not like she learned anything working at Mike DeWhine's office. I'd still hit that, but not 3 or 4 whore diamonds worth though.
not sure about the whore diamond count but she's surely calls for a double-wrapped johnson...
Hey y'all!
Don't be too alarmed by Layne's rant-iness. He's just hoping the "mainstream media" will notice him and then he'll be all famous and be on talk shows on the teevee and he'll "make it" and by this time next week he'll be blogging for some fancy-shmancy respectable news outlet like weeklyworldnews.com.
@AngryBlakGuy: ...if it has tits and long hair, don't ask questions! Thats my motto!!!
So how was Tony Mandarich?
@denniskempton:
I think it's TIM Curry
ah, damn, i guess i crossed the line.
or maybe AMC still has access to the delete button?
She's got a bigger forehead than "five-head" Tyra Banks in that photo. She does look like she's got some tranny fierceness going on there. Of course, the same can be said for the aforementioned Tyra Banks as well...
@SayItWithWookies: hey, another vet! Yes, when this site was all pandas and butt sex it was markedly more interesting.
Well, since somebody mentioned Michelle Malkin, consider:
I'm thinking separated at birth.
@DavidWatts: I would also note that that was the time before comments.
Did she work for Ohio Senator Dewine?
Malkin is insane but she's not "a man, baby"
@dupontd: No, but her vagina shoots out razor-sharp chopsticks to ensnare its prey.
Four years?! Damn, time flies when you're have fun. Or at least avoiding real work.
Whether or not JC has turned pro sounds like a great undercover investigative assignment. Any volunteers?
Jesus Christ, Cutler's been fucked so many times I'm sure its like throwing a hot dog down a hallway now.
@FunkyPalmettoBug: Hence the anal.
Hey, I bought the book. And then I bought Dog Days as penance.
God damn, have I been reading Wonkette for five years now? I remember the whole Jessica Cutler thing like it was yesterday. I still have her nudie pics saved on my computer somewhere.
Thanks for making me feel old, Ken.
Further scary thought: given that I read Suck.com from its founding in 1995 to its untimely demise in 2001 (which probably led to 9/11), and Ana Marie Cox was a writer there... basically half of my lifespan has been defined by assfucking jokes and internet snark.
@piobaroja: Christ, she's like a human hoop skirt now.
Politics/whoring - is there really any difference aside from the retirement plans?
@EthnicRedneck: the protection - capital police, secret service. Have you seen the "pimps" for these fancy whores? I mean on the teevee.
One and a half whore diamonds?
That photo looks like Michael Jackson with a few extra pounds
I didn't send the link because I don't read the NYPost, but it makes sense for old-timers like me to have forwarded it. Of course, the next thing you know, people might also start sending in articles about publishing leaked exit poll data before the vote has ended.
Oldtimers who remember back when? The Days of Orsine and Hoses? Hey, me too!
I even have a documented fossil record. Back when they had the yellowy guy working the desk, I sent him an email correction tangentially related to this sordid lady's travails...and he published it! Behold:
[wonkette.com]
See?! I'm not a hobo, I'm not! Ok, I have a bindle...so what? Happy now?
*shuffle, shuffle...'I wish the Oriental was still around. HE understood me'...shuffle*
once a whore, always a whore
@Senator Boomdog:
You ask "why no 'assfucking' tag". Well.... the tags included Spitzer, and Whore... isn't he enough of an ass for you?
what is jessica cutler's ethnicity?? i know its a dumb question...but i've been wondering for years!
The book sucks. Well, I'll clarify and say the writing doesn't suck as much as the person writing it.
Lots of whining about how women in DC are so shameful for not being ultra-thin and fashionable, then lots of graphic detail about doing blow off the dicks of bicycle messagers in between appointments with 'sugar daddies' and buttsex in the Capitol.
Her moral compass is totally working, though: she'll never 'let herself go' like DC women.
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