Wonkette

oh, happy weekend! A perverted politician story to usher it in! Thanks for this.

If you were peeing and masturbating in public, and they can only get you on SUSPICION of indecent exposure ... that does not speak well for your dick.

Get that guy some Enzyte.

Poor guy fell victim to the California "Shake it more than three times and you're playing with it" rule.

A sex-crimes investigator interviewed Hartley and had the discretion to book him into jail or cite and release him, Lansdowne said. There were two witnesses to the incident, the chief said...

Hartley, who lives in Normal Heights, has been walking precincts daily, his campaign consultant, Larry Remer, said Thursday night. Remer said he hadn't heard of the arrest before being contacted by The San Diego Union-Tribune.

"This alleged behavior is completely at odds with the John Hartley I know," Remer said. "I sincerely hope he's being given the presumption of innocence he's entitled to."

From the article.

Yay, my hometown politicians deciding to join in the sex scandals. About time. Before that, the only national figure we had get in legal trouble lately was Duke Cunningham who didn't hire hookers with his bribes, I think.

This goes hand in hand with the strip-club kick backs to SD City Council members a few years back.

You say that as if you've never seen a 65 year old polititian masturbating on a street corner before. Nothin' but green kids running the inter webs.

Survey say...Republican.

Those Olde English 40's will do it every time.

He felt what Dr. King called the 'fierce urgency of now'

The fierce urgency of now.

Is there some sort of one-upmanship going on amongst the politicians for deviant sex acts?

I'm waiting with bated breath to see how Hillary tries to outdo this one.

$27,000 bail. That seems fair. He could have killed some body.

@sezme: Maybe he mistugged. He meant to merely give it a shake and he pulled on it instead. He may have been tired and lacking in concentration at the time. It's probably the first time in years that's happened to him.

Sorry folks, he's a Demrat which explains why no kids or wetsuits were violated in this scandal. Hopefully this won't start a viral vid of "One Man, One Cup."

I imagine it's stressful door knocking all day and trying to get re-elected. A person needs to relieve a little stress, right? I'm available for hire to spin this story to where red-blooded Americans will totally "get it."

Let's see. I bet somewhere he's made comments about porn, the evils of gay butt sex, and maybe made a moral pronouncement or five about the lack of morals in today's society. If I weren't too lazy, I'd look it up myself. But, that's what Wonkette gets the big bucks for, right?

@scott_dog: She'll go girl-on-girl with Monica Lewinsky.

Like a clown? How do you masturbate like a clown??

"Thou shalt get thy motor running.
Thou shalt get out on the highway."

@rose0red: Huh? You must not be going to the right circuses if you can't answer that yourself.

...hey at least he was considerate enough to Jizz into a cup. Then again we still do not know what he did with that cup.

Disgusting.

I hope he was able to finish what he was doing. It's only fair if you're going to get in a lot of trouble for it.

@rose0red: Forcing. myself. not. to. Google. "clown masturbation."

@rose0red:
While wearing those really big shoes.

Maybe he'll claim a "use it or lose it" defense?

At that age, you take the boners as they come.

@queeraselvis: "Forcing. myself. not. to. Google. "clown masturbation."

I did it. It's Larry Craig's Web site. Very underwhelming.

Peeing into a cup and masturbating? I'm guess this old geezer has a bladder problem and went into a cup so as not to piss himself, then the person who reported him saw him shaking the dog and thought instead that he was choking it. Don't know why, but in this case I'm willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt... maybe it's cause I once saw my grandfather piss his pants while at a gas station filling his car.

@NotAnEvilLobbyist:

I believe you're correct. Duke let the lobbyists hire the hookers for him so it's kind of like the same result...only worse since you've got bribery, and possibly racketeering thrown in. In for a penny, in for a pound.

@Rob_Peter_to_Pay_Paultard: Officially non-partisan. He is however, a teacher, endorsed by the sierra club, and a donor to at least two Democratic candidates for the California State Assembly, so I think it's safe to say that he's not a Repub.

Best of all: he was endorsed by the San Diego Police Officers Association!
[www.johnhartleyforcitycouncil.com]

I hope the clown continues to campaign. I'd love to see the reaction of San Diego residents when he tries to shake someone's hand or touch someone's child.

If you've ever seen the women strolling around San Diego on a pleasant spring day, you understand.

West-siiiide! Seriously, though... this happened a few blocks from my damned house.

@denniskempton: The door-to-door must not have been going well...no one even let him use the bathroom.

Is he an Obama superdelegate too? Could be Hillary's ace in the hole strategy.......

Campaign slogan:

I'll give up shooting in public when they peel my cold dead hand off my....well, you get the idea.

Was he saying anything while this was going on? I mean stuff like fluff nutter, wankle rotary engine or Barbara Streisand. Cause that would be kind of sick.

Splarch? Masturarch?

This month is hard...

(No pun intended. Well, I lied... yeah it was.)

@Omnilation's Dog: Indeed "masturbating like a clown" is sometimes known as circus-jerking.

If I can't masturbate in public, the terrorists win. Would Osala Bin Laden masturbate in public. zyeah, that's

@BrutallyHonestBabes:
oops damn button. zyeah is not a word.

I can't be the only one here who's ever pissed in a fast food cup. At least Hartley didn't pour it down some passed out guy's back while drunk at a party... not that I did... or that I think there's anything wrong with that.

This is completely at odds with the John Hartley I know.

The John Hartley I know is the proud owner of a Venus 2000.

[www.sybian.com]

We can't have any sex scandals this month because what can you do with the word March? or April? Better get the thesaurus out...

@baxterthepug: I was thinking Gaypril for next month, then I thought it was too obvious so maybe Gaypril Showers?

You know, I haven't clicked on this link till now, partly because I have found it's best not to click on things that say 'masturbating' while at work, but mostly because I figured this was just a metaphor for something else that Jim was comparing to masturbating and peeing in a cup, in public. Maybe the guy was using stupid, derogatory examples in a speech about sexual deviants and steroid testing and politicians sometimes do.

But now that I'm home, I click on the link, and by god, the guy is masturbating in public and peeing in a cup.

Well done, John Hartley.

@JimNewell: Gaypril is perfect! Where was MY mind?

@scott_dog: Actually having sex with Bill?

Gayril Golden Showers bring Gay Ass Flowers.

I need to go throw up now.

@baxterthepug: @JimNewell: I think Gaypril is the best yet. Kudos all around...