Wonkette
Insane baby-farming robot-herder and sometime Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has a new enemy: fluorescent light bulbs. That's right. She does not care for these newfangled hippie environmentalist group-sex bulbs, preferring the honest and trustworthy incandescent kind. And now she is taking her case to the American people with her "Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act."
Bachmann is upset that a cabal of legislators and the fluorescent light bulb lobby is pissing on old-fashioned American values with their freaky new demands to phase out incandescents.
"I was just outraged that Congress would want to substitute its judgment for the judgment of the American people," she said. "It struck me as a massive Big Brother intrusion into our homes and our lives."
So now she is introducing the pro-incandescent Freedom of Choice Act, which is hilarious because she does not like abortion, or "choice," as the baby-killers like to call it.
Bachmann is pro-choice on bulbs [Star-Tribune]
Comments
Well, I can see one dim bumb that needs replacing.
The government can tell me what I can do to my body, but it can never have control of my light sources!
@queeraselvis: *bulb
/fixed
If incandescents are outlawed, only outlaws will have incandescents
...all the really good causes like saving the rain forest and stamping out illiteracy must be taken already.
Big Tungsten's dollars at work...
So she's gone from fundamentalist to filamentalist?
Oh, I'm sure that bat-shit crazy, incandecent smile has enough wattage to light up a whole city.
Pro-life, Pro-choice, I've met my share of both sorts of folks. Is anyone honestly pro-fluorescent bulbs?
Lead solder had been banned also. :(
@Cape Clod: it looks like someone has their hands up her dress.
Fluorescent bulbs evolved from filament bulbs, and that is not acceptable.
I was just outraged that Congress would want to substitute its judgment for the judgment of the American people," she said.
Yea, who do these people we elected to make collective good decisions about mutually-beneficial stuff we don't have time to worry about think they are!
While we're at it, what about those new nylon dancing tights that go baggy at the knees after only a few evenings' fun? Bring back the old canvas ones, I say?
Eh, I hate to side with Crazy Michelle Bachmann, but compact flourscents are pretty awful, environmentally-friendly tho they may be, and I do like my flattering light, and really, whatthefuck. It's not like lead paint or leaded fuel because there are no health risks involved. Incandescents don't pollute; they just use more energy. So yeah, I don't really want them banned.
How about we ban SUV's first?
She's lighting her house with the oils from the boiled carcasses of abortion doctors. Join the movement!
With a face like that, better to stay in the dark anyway.
Flourescents are much better than they useta be. As are LEDs. I met a lighting designer for big touring shows and ALL he uses are LEDS, which cuts something like 20% of the truckloads he has to use.
If you're gonna be photographed well anyway, it needs to be outdoor at sunrise or sunset. Incandescent ain't ALL that.
I like disco lights myself......
@Canuckledragger: Brilliant
This woman is a weirdo. Flourescents and LEDs don't really cast a different light anymore...and they last longer...no more having to hear that popping sound accompanied by the smell of burning and sudden darkness every few months. I don't think there should be legislation either way, though...let the dumb people keep making their lives more complicated. Eventually natural selection will kill them off.
Bring back Candles. We never should have let the Liberal Academic Elites sell on all this artificial light hoohaw. God made light, 'ya know. It's right there in the Bible, kinda at the start somewhere. Look it up. So here we are substituting our judgment for that of God Almighty, blaspheming every time we flick the Godless, atheistic, communist light switch, creating our own light just as casually as you please, as if we were gods ourselves. What's next, marriage between men and dachshunds? This nation is headed for a fall unless we repent and cast out all these so-called "light bulbs."
There's an outpost in the New Mexico desert that is stockpiling incandescent light bulbs for the future. They've already stashed about 500,000 light bulbs in their secure, underground storage facility.
That kind of an outrageous statement by her really takes some ballasts.
I can understand why while we're involved in two wars, have a housing crisis, flooding in the Midwest, drought in the South, 20 high schoolers in Chicago killed since the first of the year, Darfur, Tibet, a recession, US action in Pakistan, and immigration conflicts-- that she'd be worried about whether people can choose to buy less efficient light bulbs. So worried, that she'd introduce legislation. I mean, there isn't anything else to be concerned about, right?
Michele Bachmann is watts wrong with America.
I actually went to a presentation about LEDs and environmental benefits of different lighting (exciting day as an intern on the Hill!). I walked out of that a believer in LEDs. LEDs really are worth the cost. They said that if you replaced all of the flourescents in your office, you would pay a good chunk more initially, but over the course of ten years (the life of LED arrangements), you would save more than enough on energy costs to pay for the replacement of the LED bulbs, not including the costs of replacing flourescents every 2-3 years. And that assumes energy prices don't go up.
Clearly, Bachmann is just stupid, but we already knew that.
Why do we need light anyway? Plenty of organisms survive completely in the dark. It seems like our current spoiled gimme-gimme-gimme society can't be satisfied. It's "Oh my gosh I can't see" this, and "I can't drive without lights" that. Babies.
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: Based on her views on this matter, I will not volt for her next election.
This woman is lumen catastrophe for America.
I remember reading that flourescent light bulbs actually cause more harm than good because they are soaked in mercury. Maybe she is on to something. Did Michelle ever seal the deal with Bush after macking wit him that one time? That is what I want to know.
"Judgment of the American people?" If the American people had any sort of judgment, Congress wouldn't look the way it does.
I have heard recently that those fluorescent bulbs have a good deal of mercury in them, but I doubt she's doing this for environmental reasons. Does 3M have some sort of new patent on incandescents we don't know about yet?
She hertz the green lobby with stunts like this.
Call me selfish, but I want a new frameable picture used for all future, repetitive Michelle Bachmann/light bulb posts. We can either go Mary Tyler Moore-style [i85.photobucket.com] or the permanent-liplock with the President [ericblackink.minnpost.com]
Ive been sitting here wondering why in the hell would she be wasting her time pushing such a inconsequential bill. Finally I put 2 & 2 together and realized it has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with incandescent or fluorescent light bulbs. In politics I have learned the best way to judge peoples motives is by "...who's wallet does it impact the most". And in this particular case it is the ENERGY PROVIDERS. If everyone in the U.S. was required to swap over to the more efficient fluorescent bulbs power companies could EASILY see a 20% drop in demand(i.e. revenue). Bachmann could give a "a flying rats ass" about the environmental impact of producing light bulbs; what she is concerned about is the financial impact on her special interest donors.
@NotAnEvilLobbyist: I own both LED and flourescents. However, on my budget incadescent lighting is better quality light. Eventually, the majority of the market will shift to LED and flourescents. There is no need to shove it down our throats.
@weazel: I missed reading up on the Federal US Nylon act of 1952. Darnit.
It's coming folks, PRO-LIGHT activists demonstrating in front of Home Depot. Electricians receiving threatening letters in the mail. Websites and YOUTUBE videos sprouting up with horrible images of shattered fluorescent tubes.
You know, a few hundred glow sticks a day can easily light your home... granted I know smell like sulfur and have moss growing out my armpits, but I'm already married. She's stuck with me.
@AngryBlakGuy: And you're backing the energy lobby with the light bulb that just went off in your head.
Fucking hypocrite.
@NBAWRITER1:
She's really trying to socket to the environmentalists.
@TheRainWhisperer: Or stuck to you, what with all that 'pit moss spreading.
@z3k3: LED X-mas lights suck for the most part. Can we get a consensus on that?
Burning the extra coal to fuel incandescents emits more mercury than flourescent bulbs/tubes contain. Anyway, your're supposed to turn flourescents into your local waste collection office. Hopefully we can turn Michelle into the waste collection office next Nov.
For indoor lighting, I trap fireflies and rubbed their crushed bodies all over myself.
Joule be sorry for this, Bachmann!!!!
You know, I never thought I'd be agreeing with the baby-farmer, but she's probably right that there is a CFL lobby bribing congresscritters with whore-sex and cocaine just to get this anti-incandescent legislation passed.
Can't expect Jesus to come back if he's not well-lit.
Bah. Next it'll be a crusade against fake pearls or something.
Her own state disagrees with her: [www.state.mn.us]
Next on the "must preserve" list:
leaded gas
flintlocks
spats
the kind of wrist watch that you have to wind (they really once existed)
washboards
men's hats
good manners
Power utilities spend millions and millions to promote power savings, because, since their rates are regulated, the more they conserve, the more profit they get. So the utility companies are not behind Michelle's latest thang.
These are the same people who objected to low-flush toilets.
It's just proof that, to a man, the Republican base is a bunch of ideological cranks with o.c. Something they could do to promote progress and help people with their bills that causes zero pain, and they crap all over it. I hope this story gets broadcast on every news station in America.
I have been searching for the past hour and damned if I can find anything in the Bible about light bulbs.
@broken.yellow.fangs: "Let there be light." (I'll probably be the 89th one with this witty retort.)
@weazel: Low-flush toilets are the work of the devil.
Ohm my god, what a trivial peice of legislature
@broken.yellow.fangs:Check the NEW Testament. Sheesh!
@NBAWRITER1: I digress...
I am planning to crash Jenna Bush's wedding at the White House this spring and I am bringing Michelle Bachmann with me!
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: That pun crossed the line. Boo.
First its Translucent bulbs, then come the gays and the drugs and the HIV.
@AngryBlakGuy: Well, you can't have an AngryBlakGuy without an EnablingCraker.
Just doing my part.
@EnBuenOra:
Most of those organism that can "survive completely in the dark" are Worlds of Warcraft players who latched on to Ron Paul.
In case you missed it, the premise of Michele's position is that global warming is a hoax. I guess she doesn't know about my fetus and American flag-filiment bulbs.
Batshit. Fucking. Crazy. Plus really fucking sharp about the crucial issues destroying the world. Go back to yer baby farm and yer hot dish.
What is it with Repug Congressbroads? Sally Kern, Michelle Bachmann.. are there any other deranged bat-shit crazy-wacko female members of Congress of Republican affiliation who have wax balls for brains out there?
@weazel: I am aware that prices are regulated by the state you are in. However I do not believe that their income capacity is capped at a specific amount, otherwise there is almost no incentive for companies to be in business. Electricity companies often sell power to each other so that they don't overload their grids. This electricity they purchase inevitably reduces their bottom line profit because its going to be sold at a premium. If you look at an industry like Petroleum which is directly affected by it production capacity(refineries) it doesn't make sense to build a multi-billion dollar refinery just to match a 2% increase in demand. And because petroleum prices are not regulated they can charge whatever the hell they want. This is somewhat similar to power companies. They aren't going to build an entirely new power plant just to match a minor increase in demand; especially if they cant pass the cost on to consumer because of regulated prices. Here in Florida I believe we have legislation that regulates how often pricing can change in a given period. So instead it only makes sense to keep consumer consumption down until it becomes financially sound to build another power plant.
Disclaimer:
Im not a Utilities expert(however I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night!)
You can take one look at Michelle and know that she cares a LOT about flattering lighting. This is all about saving America from the washed-out look.
It's in trying times like these, that I look for wisdom in the lyrics of DEVO...
In ancient rome there was a poem
About a dog who found two bones
He picked at one
He licked the other
He went in circles
He dropped dead
Freedom of choice
Is what you got
Freedom of choice!
I use flourescents in some spots in my house, but incandescents are better for some things. Why should the government choose for me? Yes, energy companies probably like the old-style bulbs, but they like them becuase they can charge you more. The result of this is that consumers already have a reason to buy new-style bulbs. As crazy as this bitch is, she may be right. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
The Second Amendment clearly grants an individual right to possess and use incandescent lights. This right must be defended. I've incorporated the NLA, the National Lightbulb Association, to vigorously defend our rights to shine as we see fit
@mookworthjwilson: But the mercury lobby is way pissed off.
@procrastinator, esq.: "Incandescents don't pollute; they just use more energy."
/golfclap
@Botswana Meat Commission FC: At least she'll meet with great resistance.
@ReelectTilden: I have on good authority that busted digital clocks are basically never right.
However, I agree that she's probably right about the "judgment of the American people." Her household represents a significant percentage of living Americans, so she has a pretty good idea about what Americans generally want.
Is there some sort of incandescent bulb lobby we were previously unaware of or is it that they were only recently able to get a Congresswoman crazy enough to support them?
@kudzu: You forgot Shelley Draculacunt Gibbs and Marsha Blackburn. The collective twatwafflery of these four stilleto-heeled thugs is enough to power an entire state.
And the Lord said: "Take thee, the fluorescents, and cast them from your sight for to be accepted into the gates of heaven one must attain incandescence."
This story has generated one of the most shocking lines of discussion ever in this blog, illuminating another glaring example of how the dim wit green wingers are totally in the dark.