Deval Patrick Fails As Governor, So Barack Obama Is Unelectable

Hey you know that handsome black politician who plagiarized Thomas Jefferson and likes to talk about hope? He is like that other guy, so an Obama presidency is as naturally doomed as the Patrick governorship.

The friendship between these two leaders made headlines last month when it was revealed they were such great buddies that they sort of talk like each other. To wit: Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick said this thing once about all men being created equal, which Barack Obama stole, even though Founding Father Martin Luther King invented and copyrighted those very words.

The troubling pattern of similarities between Patrick and Obama surfaced again this month when Patrick lost a high-profile battle over resort casinos with Massachusetts Speaker of the House (and perennial douchebag ) Sal DiMasi. You see, Patrick promised to bring "unity" to government but he failed, just like Barack Obama will fail when he is president, which he will never be because he cannot pre-emptively unify things.

 Early Dazzle, Then Tough Path for a Governor [New York Times]