Wonkette
Now that Hillary has decided to extort the Democratic party, she has officially become less trustworthy than Dick Morris, the Clintons' evil former strategist who now wishes them both dead. This means we can quote Dick Morris' column and assume his claims are true, because why not? On today's agenda: that time Hillary Clinton said Chelsea was hanging out by the Twin Towers on 9/11, and how she wasn't at all.
It was the second time world affairs have put Chelsea's life at stake, except on both occasions, Hillary made it up:
She said that Chelsea was jogging around the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 and happened to duck into a coffee shop when the airplanes hit. She said that this move saved Chelsea's life. But Chelsea told Talk magazine that she was in a friend's apartment four miles from ground zero when the first plane hit. Her friend called her, waking her up, and told her to turn on the TV. On television, she saw the second plane hit, disproving Hillary's claim that "she heard the plane hit. She heard it. She did."
She also claims that Chelsea was in Barack Obama's bed that one time when Barack Obama fathered an illegitimate child with Chelsea Clinton. Sinbad sat in the corner, clapping like a clown.
Hillary's Other Fabrication [The Hill]
Comments
I hear she was taking sniper fire from the planes too. Ducking behind mailboxes and homeless men. However there was a welcoming ceremony at the Starbucks.
If only the Bosnian snipers had killed the 9/11 hijackers so that none of it would have happened and Hillary could go about her day making up other shit.
Hillary might as well have been in one of the planes, aiming it at her own party...
On 9/11, was Chelsea sleeping with a super-delegate?
Pretty soon she'll tell us that her husband did not have sex with that woman.
"She was in a friend's apartment."
Did Chelsea at least get his name or at least get cab fare for her Walk of Shame?
If Barry's supposed to be the muslim terrorist how come Hilz is the one who keeps blowing herself up?
it turns out the friend's apartment chelsea was in was sinbad's and he's about to bust hillary again.
@Pupster: In my imaginary universe, it was totes one of the dudes from Vampire Weekend.
I read both of Obama's books front to back and then back to front and he never really discloses where he was on or about 9/11. Was he on "vacation" in the "Virgin Islands" that time too?
This reminds me of that story people like to tell here in NYC about some guy that worked in WTC who was drilling some younger gal that morning in the gals apartment. When his wife called to ask where if was he said he was at work.
Honest answer. Prompt divorce I guess.
Will the real Dick Morris please shut up? You want the real story, Dick? Chelsea didn't want to tell her mom she had spent the night at her FWB's place. I realize that every single goddamned thing that Hillary says or does calls her very character into question, but Jesus Christ on rollerskates -- don't you feel petty and stupid crawling through every one of her stories and coming up with these trifling driblets? Oh of course not -- this is your fucking pinnacle.
Did you guys know that Chelsea Clinton personally slew over 30 Arabs during the Six Day War of 1967? She was running covert ops for the Israelis. Her penchant for sneaking up on Jordanians and slitting their throats earned her the nickname "Desert Ninja."
Google the internets if you don't believe me.
Uh, don't you think her friend had a coffee machine? I bet her friend would sell you coffee if you offered a high enough price, no? How is that not a "coffee shop"? And she was jogging in her dreams, duh.
@SayItWithWookies: Hills also said Chelsea was wearing cross-trainers and tube-socks that morning, but she was ACTUALLY wearing these little cork Steve Madden numbers.
Dick Morris, if you don't remember -- a highlights tour from Wiki:
On August 29, 1996, Morris resigned from the Clinton campaign after reports surfaced that he had been involved with a prostitute named Sherry Rowlands. A tabloid newspaper had obtained and published a set of photographs of Morris and Rowlands on a Washington, D.C., hotel balcony. Accompanying the photo layout was Rowlands' story of the casual affair, including the revelation that Morris's favorite sexual fetish was toe-sucking.[4] The article also revealed that Morris had allowed Rowlands to listen in on phone calls with the President, and had given her a copy of a campaign speech before it was delivered.***A further scandal erupted over Morris' failure to pay his income taxes.
@metropolitan: The cable news networks need to install a permanent satellite linkup with Sinbad so he can debunk Clinton in real time.
this is like that total bullshit story mccain gave about how paul revere's horse almost ran him over. we all know he was in philadelphia sucking off franklin that weekend.
She has only lied once in the past 12 years.
Cut her a break. Hillary has to answer a lot of questions every day, and its not surprising she misremembers a few things. This must have been the other time terrorists mounted a massive attack against the US. On THAT day, Chelsea ducked into a coffee shop etc...
She'll bring a lietime of experience to the White House.
Don't they have video? I remember Chelsea dodging huge chunks of debris in slow motion, just like the Matrix.
This is what she gets for being too close to her parents ... him included:
Hillary also said she named Chelsea after the song "Chelsea Morning" by Joan Mitchell.
LIAR! Hillary was never cool enought to enjoy Joni Mitchell. We are talking about someone who plays Jefferson Starship at all her campaign stops!
I bet she named Chelsea after some cheap hooker that she and Bill picked up in Little Rock for some hot three way action. I see myself in Hillary so I know this for a fact.
@Laura Ingalls Wildest: how many whore diamonds did Sherry rate?
Dick Morris is Barry's perfect hatchet man: A former Clinton confidant with a chip on his shoulder and a poisonous pen.
@Eac_o_System: That is creepy.
@Eac_o_System: Hey! Sorry to post twice in a row but whats up with Chelsea's hooker hair!?! That naughty minx! She clearly has a daddy complex!
What's next? Is she going to lie about her weight too?
@PeeJay: I would love to ask Hillary if the carpeting matches the drapes. And then we could get a candid photo of her getting our of a car without her panties on to see if she is lieing again!
@Miss Perception: I just assume she's not ever telling the truth about anything. Funny thing is, I still think she's more credible than Dick Cheney.
At least one Clinton is capable of hooking up like a normal person. Apparently they're all bad at timing, though.
That said, to quote Elvis Costello, "I don't want to go to Chelsea."
No wonder she doesn't think words mean much.
The notion that Bill Clinton would let Chelsea near the twin towers on 9/11 is absurd, considering that as a former president he must have known it was going to happen.
I know, I know. "How dare you?" 16 foot hole in the Pentagon. Chemical traces of thermite in the ground zero dust. Thousand degree rubble for weeks. Able Danger. WTC 7. The Channel 5 chopper video. I am not a complete child, Mr. President. I understand that every few decades there must be war like this, because the masses are unruly, and the State must be reinvigorated with human blood and sacrifice. I understand the overdetermined prison of your unholy position, and we conspiracy theorists forgive you with every lying word you breathe.
@baseproduct: No diamonds, per se, but about three and a half whore cubic zirconia:
Next thing we'll find out is that Clinton has been lying about the whole "I spent 8 years in the White House" thing, and the 1990s were just a hallucination.
God, I hope so, at any rate.
I can't let the lies stand anymore. The real reason for Hillary's cover story is, and remains, the best night of my life. I picked up Chelsea at Tao late on nine/ten and, through a set of circumstances I barely remember, ended up in a three-way with the the FDILF and FLILF. It was hot night - I remember at one point we were SMS'ing Bill in real time, and he was loving it. Anyway, the next morning we were all a bit groggy from the tequila, sex and meth and didn't think to get our stories straight.
"She said that Chelsea was jogging around the World Trade Center on Sept. 11 and happened to duck into a coffee shop when the airplanes hit. She said that this move saved Chelsea's life."
Too bad there were no coffee shops on that Bosnian tarmac, 'coz Hillaryous sure did fuck-all to save her daughter from all that stray sniper fire.
Morris and his lardass wife Eileen McGann have been nursing this wound since he was busted with the hooker in '96. He was fired the same day and the Clinton's and their people never spoke another word to Morris.
He is a pasty faced, fatass, jewish boy who is using the Clinton's as his gravy train and he is riding it all the way to the bank. I think his only gig these days is on Fox with O'Really and the other bigot, Seanie Hannity. I don't know of anyone who is legitimate that wants anything to do with Morris.
I think he is repugnant.
I remember that. She was first supposed to be jogging, then she was supposed to be outside, on Park Ave South, sans Secret Service, waiting to use a pay phone! Seriously, they later settled on her being in "a friend's apt" on that day.
Can we pluz decide whether or not Chelsea's an adult?
One of these days. somebody is going to kick Morris' ass from here to kingdom come. I sure hope I am around for it.
Isn't it time for Wonkette to make an official endorsement? I think a joint Wonkette/Maureen Dowd press release would be great!
I think she was with Old Greg...
If I remember correctly the attack on World Trade Center happened about 8:30 a.m. in the morning so Chelsea was probably trying to find her way home after an all night bender at some downtown bar. So Hillary was only lying about the jogging part.
Is it lieing or lying? I am too lazy to check before posting.
jogging, walk of shame, what's the difference?
Gawd! Chelsea was sleeping while Hillary was battling the flames and saving everybody from The Terrorists (TM)? GAWD.
dick is a dick, plain and simple
he is also a frequent smoker of b. hussein's chicken
that's right!
dick sucks barry's dick in secret!!!
prove it's not true
@MagnusMaximus: wait she was allowed in to mossad in 67 but hillz couldn't get into the marines in 75?
@Laura Ingalls Wildest: is this supposed to make her story true?
@GaCracker: prove you didn't write it to steer us from checking into the fact that you smoke dick's chicken
@dupontd: you first
@chezlounge: "One of these days. somebody is going to kick Morris' ass from here to kingdom come. I sure hope I am around for it."
Surely the Clinton team has him on their hit list.
Along with every other ex-collaborator who 'betrayed' them, and each person they expected to endorse them forever (like the entire black community), various superdelegates now favoring Obama, etc.
An honest inference considering how out-of-breath she was when her mom called.
@Miss Perception: That was just a pathological lie with no real advantage because she was actually named after "Songs to Aging Children Come" which is a cooler song. And socks the cat was named after "Parallelograms" by Linda Perhacs. Chelsea was listening to Pentangle when the planes hit the Pentagon.
If Hillz was so experienced, she would have used her 8 years in the White House and year in the Senate to stop 9/11 herself. Loser! Next.
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I heard, was a plane outside my window, and a crash collapse the words ... Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I saw, was the smoke around Manhattan, and the second high-rise fall ... Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew, there was milk and toast and honey and band of virgins, too...
The story that Hillary Clinton claimed Chelsea was jogging around the towers on 9/11 has been debunked at [mediamatters.org] with transcripts of the original interview.
This sort of thing really isn't funny when a Republican consultant makes it up to sell a book.
Media Matters was started by HRC. 'NUFF said.
Oh Christ.... somebody on MSNBC just used the words "pimped" and "Chelsea Clinton" in the same sentence again... and Dan Abrams just pissed himself...
Caption for the photo:
Hillary: "I am your Queen!"
Chelsea: "I'm doing an awkward dance pose for my mom!"
@chezlounge: You mean Morris or Doug Schoen?
@GaCracker: I don't care, think it! The point is the same, its no argument to say you can't disprove a universal negative. Take an intro to logic course. Or at least some comedy classes!
@FoggyFroggy: Umm, wtf? Are you serious? Or just in posesssion of some super powerful BC Bud? It's like 20 times more potent than the ditch weed I could get as a kid. Which explains a lot.
Was this Hill's way of punishing her daughter for sleeping around? "Now Chelsea, if you sleep over there I'll tell the world an easily disprovable lie so you'll have to say something like 'i was sleeping at a friends house'" Way to go Mommy Dearest, way to go.
@JacobFreeze: Good catch.
@DangerousLiberal: Um, yes, I am joking. Yeah, that's it.
Btw, I forgot to mention all the drills & exercises going on the morning of 9/11, fake blips and whatnot. Vigiliant this, and Northern Guardian that. Bioterrorism. Dozens of exercises.
@FoggyFroggy: Oops, it's the Channel 4 chopper video, not Channel 5 (damn cointelpro google-bombs):
+ Watch video
@FoggyFroggy: Err, Chopper 4, rather. I are expert.
+ Watch video
911 Octopus Five: Invisible Torture of the New World Order
Share the horror with me, mon semblable, mon frere.
@DangerousLiberal:
If you could see through my eyes, if you could feel what I feel ...
I am speaking to Chelsea as a fellow Stanford alum. You can be free of the Hoover Tower. Just open yourself to the blessings of your own true nature.
Who let the inmates out of the asylum?
+ Watch video
Chelsea, you know what is right and what is wrong! Dont' give in to the Dark Side!
Has the term "9/11tard" been coined yet? Still too soon?
@JacobFreeze:
Who wouldn't believe Bay--she was smart enough to sign on as a consultant to Tom Tancredo so she must be a genius.
Wait. A daughter lied to her mom about where she was? I cannot believe it.
Chelsea, Chelsea ... there is so much more wisdom than what the elite schools allow to be propounded:
+ Watch video
Offering Tsok to Heruka Vajrasattva
What the late Lama Yeshe (yes, I posted a video of a dead l