Did Sinbad Save America From Nuclear Annihilation?

Hope For AmericaFunnyman “Sinbad” was once simply known as “America’s Entertainer,” but after his heroic unmasking of the monster Hillary Clinton’s “foreign policy experience” claims about dodging sniper fire in Bosnia, historians may well have another title for the beloved comic: The Funnyman Who Saved America.

It was a story seared into the memories of all Americans: Hillary Clinton, Sheryl Crow, Chelsea Clinton and Sinbad went to Bosnia to bring peace this one time, probably during the 1990s. But only Sinbad had the courage to tell the real story: That these women really went to Bosnia to hatch a terrible lie that could’ve very well put the senile lunatic John McCain in the White House, which would’ve led to Total Nuclear Devastation.

Hillary Clinton was “married” to Bill Clinton, also in the 1990s. Because of this, she thinks she will also become president. But suddenly all presidents need to have hundreds of years of experience crashing planes for the Navy, so Hillary has been sort of exaggerating her role in World Events. For example, she once bought “Irish Spring” soap, which in her mind means she brought peace to Northern Island.

Another minor event — a happy visit by the first lady, first daughter and two fourth-rate entertainers to see some American peacekeeping troops in Bosnia — somehow became the story of how Hillary ended the war in Yugoslavia by dodging bullets fired by Serbian snipers who had “Clinton derangement syndrome.”

The old white women who make up Hillary’s audience thought it was a thrilling story, and they rewarded her with a victory in Ohio. Had this shit kept up, there was a 5% chance Hillary could’ve still won the nomination (if Obama was killed, and not resurrected), and that would mean John McCain would finally be able to say “It’s my destiny” again and again in the Oval Office as he ordered nuclear attacks on every country except for Mexico.

But now that awful Apocalypse has been averted, for now, because of Sinbad’s patriotism and bravery. Millions are watching the YouTube exposés of Hillary’s “Yugoslav Scam” and millions more are hearing about it from their friends who can afford computers. The truth has set us free from imminent mass extinction. So much for your “global kill off” plans, Mark Penn!

In other words, let’s celebrate Sinbad’s life and laughs.

Blessed are the peacemakers.

The man the world knows as “Sinbad” was actually born with some other name, presumably, a number of decades ago.

Too cool for Clinton's lies.

He probably performs in Las Vegas or Atlantic City.

Rockin' da Cosby look.

There are many publicity pictures of Sinbad doing comedic smiles, which you can find on the Internet, the end.

SINBAD VS. HILLARY CLINTON [EURweb]
Did Sinbad Sink Hillary’s Claims? [BET]
Hillary Really Under Fire [Boston Herald]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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