Wonkette
Christ, the Pennsylvania primary isn't until April 22 and at its current rate, the Internet will have long since committed suicide, over and over and over again. Over the last week, many bloggers have gotten so bored with the lack of actual news that they have become werewolves. Specifically, the level of violent rage directed at Hillary Clinton has reached that of Osama bin Laden in late 2001. Do not be surprised to see some of the bloggers below resort to self-immolation the next time Hillary Clinton says something on a radio show.
It's also another example of the fog of nonsense that has increasingly enveloped the Clinton campaign. Spin is one thing. And it's not a bad thing. But to have utility it must be tethered to some relevant facts, some kind of reality. Otherwise it just descends into ridiculousness. There's always some new clever but inane argument to twist 'up' into something at least somewhat resembling 'down'. Or if not that, enough to keep your head spinning long enough not to notice for a while that 2 and 2 still equals 4. It's like getting snowed by a precocious adolescent or maybe Jon Lovitz's Tommy Flanagan.
Dragging things out 'till the convention stands a much, much, much higher chance of hurting Barack Obama's chances in the general election than it does of securing Clinton the nomination. I understand the calculation from the point of view of the heart of the Clinton campaign — McCain beating Obama in the general means the Clintons still control the party, so there's no need to worry about helping McCain and you might as well hold on and hope lightning strikes. But the broader mass of unaffiliated elites and Clinton supporters who aren't literally on her payroll are, in my view, acting in a massively irresponsible manner.
Joe Sudbay (AMERICAblog):
Hillary Clinton has lost. She cannot win the Democratic nomination without causing a civil war in the Democratic party. Her recent actions, especially comparing herself to, and praising, McCain while undermining Obama, make it appear that she is willing to do just that — split the party in two. Seriously, can you imagine McCain saying that that he had a lifetime of experience, Hillary had a lifetime of experience, but Romney didn't? That would never happen. It's unacceptable. And it has to stop. I get that it sucks to lose. But, it happens. Hillary needs to get over it, and let's get on with the real campaign.
And we saved the best for last: the world's biggest hater of the Clintons, the one who falls ill with every passing day that she is alive, the one who we truly believe would kill himself — that's not even an exaggeration this time — if Hillary Clinton won this nomination, Andrew Sullivan:
Once, I believe, she was motivated by good intentions and even now, I don't think she believes she is advancing anything but the common good. But she can never believe that her interests and the common good could ever be in conflict, which is to say, she has lost a moral compass beyond narcissism. That is sad in a human being and we are all prey to it. But in a potential president, it is very dangerous... She is a lost and dangerous soul, as her husband still is. She is, in my view, unfit to be president. Truly, deeply unfit.
Can you imagine having to live like Andrew Sullivan, every day? Maybe he and Hillary Clinton aren't so different after all.
Everyone calm down! Life will go on.
Comments
All this could be solved by lower taxes. Deregulating industries will make it easier to create jobs. Don't you people know anything about economics?
Hillary Clinton is the greatest monster in American history.
I used to think Andrew overdid it, but now I realize he's spot-on. She's poison.
Yes, life will go on. For those of us that are lucky enough that we didn't 'volunteer' to die in Iraq.
Is it Andrew Sullivan or Mickey Kaus who blows goats? I always get my Slate columnists confused.
Hillary and Andrew Sullivan are alike? Funny, I haven't seen Hillary in Provincetown during Bear Week...
I'm just so goddamn sick of the primaries at this point. Can every pundit and blogger commit suicide already and save us the weeks of horror listening to them rant about the banal minutia of these campaigns.
@Advocatus_Diaboli: Kaus blows goat, Sullivan blows .... men? not very snarky, but actually truthful. How's that for a wonkette comment?
@Advocatus_Diaboli: Mickey. [wonkette.com] Sully blows bears.
@Advocatus_Diaboli: Mickey Kaus (professional asshole) is the one who blows goats. Andrew blows guys.
From what I see, the Democratic party works together in United Hate for Rodham-Saddam love-child.
Oh, Sully. Jim, you can't cite Sully as a representative of a growing trend, no matter how real that trend may be. The man was always willing to rip of his own leg if it gave him something to bludgeon the Clintons with. (Ha ha, I ended a sentence with a preposition -- so dirty).
In other news, Hitchens also still hates the Clintons, but it turns out he hates Obama too. Actually, I can't think of anything besides a tall glass of gin that Hitchens doesn't hate.
If the primaries do come down to Montana and South Dakota, I will personally and liberally lob Molotov cocktails in Mark Penn's general direction. Given his girth, I'm sure at least two will enter his orbit.
what does b. hussein and every right wing crazoid have in common, except a love of allah and prayer rugs?
they're all afraid hillz is gonna snatch 'em up by their gonads and well, you know...
I bet Hitchens likes blowing goats in between drinks.
Maybe Andy Sullsicans needs to spend a little less time in existential crisis mode and a little more time shaving that beard and working on his personal life. Mmmk?
War Games:
It's spelled "minutiae"!!!!
JEEEZ!!!!!
@jagorev: One guy, we assume. He married his blowee last year.
@GaCracker: and what? Is she going to castrate us all when she gets to power?
@Omnilation's Dog: Actually, I can't think of anything besides a tall glass of gin that Hitchens doesn't hate."
You'd hate everything but a tall glass of gin too if you were as sophish-, hic, sophishtic- , if you were as smart as Hitchens.
And CLinton has a daily conference call, and endless interviews. All the more fodder for people to pour over.
Which is why she should have done what Obama did which was to go on vacation. He made 3 major speeches in one week tackling 3 huge issues, and then threw up a peace sign and laid on a beach.
Genius.
@GaCracker: You used the words "gonads," "hillz" and "snatch" in the same sentence. Very nice.
Let me also recycle a joke that's appropriate for the above photo: The Hills Has Eyes!
Thanks, I'll be here all week.
I'm sure Mark Penn is already planning the campaign's next move, post-concession: Don't get mad. Get even...
A glorious fight to the finish, with Hillary as the third (actually, after Nader's declaration, fourth) party candidate. But which party would have her? Of course, the Official Monster Raving Loony Party [www.omrlp.com]
Per drudge link, HRC is contemplating the "Tonya Harding option."
[blogs.abcnews.com]
A most beautiful analogy I must say.
@Omnilation's Dog:
Actually, I can't think of anything besides a tall glass of gin that Hitchens doesn't hate.
We have so much in common!
@Omnilation's Dog: Hitchens likes killing Saddam Hussein, and he is extremely bitter that they can't do it again.
@Omnilation's Dog: And I hate Hitchens.
I've got an idea - how about Hills steps out of the race and supports the democratic agenda from the Senate, working with President Obama and Vice President Richardson to heal the party and the nation.
I expect to be banned at any moment for my lack of snark...but this has been on my mind for several months and I couldn't think of a better group of pols to share with.
Hold it. All those are actually really sensible analyses of the Clinton situation. What, exactly, is the problem with any of them? I see nothing unverifiable or at least inferable on plausible grounds. That Sullivan guy is onto something, by the way.
@jagorev: Keep in mind that Kaus dated Ann Coulter for awhile, so you may need to rethink just exactly what he does or does not blow.
Flat:
Shame on you. The Wonkette Commentariat will form a hollow square and turn their backs on you, while NCO Newell cuts the buttons off your pajamas and tramples your Strokes buttons in the dust.
Maybe Hillary could join up with Lieberman to form a third-party "douchebags who are irrelevant outside of the tri-state area" ticket.
Clearly these columnists and millions of Americans are coming around to becoming Clintorists. I mean we can certainly take these kinds of reactions as a "maybe" can't we? This is as good a reason any to keep the campaign going for at least a year beyond the November election and anybody who doesn't agree is clearly doing so because Hillary is a woman and they are sexist.
If you can call that a woman, heh.
@Dave J.: maybe we misheard "goats" when it was actually "ghosts", as in evil succubi/incubi undead attention whores.
poor hillary, can you imagine how she feels? she decides to stay married to cheater bill so she can be the president and then some young upstart gets more voters to support him. what a drag. if i were her, i would destroy the democratic party too.
HRC Determined to Attack in America
(But once again, Condi Rice could care less.)
She's like my ex-gf who just couldn't let go, even after I put a restraining order on her.
Hillary will be out soon. She's just waiting for the right bonum. I think a three-picture shingle at Paramount will do it. Her first movie is "Divine Secrets of the Fried Green Pants Club Quilt".
@Dave J.: I don't see how that would require any rethinking.
@Dave J.: good point. dele "goats", insert "crossdressing billygoats"
The hilarious thing is most Democrats would be happy just to flip a coin at this point.
@WarGames: Hillary blows goatmen.
@cprach: Why, does she need a shave?
I just found a new inscription for my headstone:
"she has lost a moral compass beyond narcissism"
With a twine of roses on either side? Smashing!
John Marshall needs to stop listening to Raidohead's Hail to the Theif. The guy can't stop quoting "2+2=5."
Godzilla, save us!
I don't know about you, but I want my president to lie to me like I'm a complete child. I want a president who is less informed and intelligent than me. That is what gives me the will to go on living.
It's cool we're having this groovy financial meltdown so the sound of our livelihoods collapsing can drown out the sound of morons frothing at the mouth over Hillazabub.
Jim -- what is your deal with Sullivan? Did he snub you at a party or something? Just curious.
Meanwhile, I was just thinking how ugly this election has gotten since Elizabeth Kucinich and Jeri Thompson dropped out. I guess this is why I read Wonkette rather than Josh Marshall.
Quiet!
This is Terminator 08 LIVE and it's the best one EVER!
SEE! Obama morphing into the good/evil/ black/white man HOPING to save the world from the deathly grip of the Clinton imposters.
WATCH! As the mighty Clinton machines peel off their skin coverings to reveal..oh god..no please no GOD ...NO ..... not 2 MORE PAT BUCHANAN CLONES?
OH MR. OBAMAMAN, where oh where have our Clinton's gone??
I want Hillary to be unable to go out in public without people throwing batteries at her. She and her surrogates have managed to push the campaign to a Swiftboatian level of dishonesty without a second thought. You don't see the Hope Unicorns insinuating that Hillary can't run the country because of hormones or laying down apallingly misogynist fictions. You don't see them attempting to undermine her whole capacity as a leader. Hilly The Pantsuit Monster is not on the side of progress. She's on the side of the Neitzchian will to power. She's on the side of voting for genocide by ommission. (Make no mistake, a half million bodies later; that's what Iraq was. We were gonna kill us some brown people no matter where the lines were actually drawn.) In fact, the more damage done to her, the less credible her attacks are, and the better Barry's chances against McCain this November. The sooner we can get history to see her as a monster who believed only in her own need to rule, the better.
You neglected Jeffrey St. Clair, who's usually a Nader supporter, but, like so many, seems to have developed a crush on Obama:
"Hillary Clinton is the prisoner of an unimpeachable mathematics. So she makes the most of a remorseless situation by doing what the Clintons do best: commit political fratricide. Quite literally, in this case, by knocking off a brother.
In order to realize her vaulting ambition, Hillary must mortally wound Obama as candidate in the fall race against John McCain so that she can run against McCain in 2012". [counterpunch.org]
@Sabre_Justice: Okay, no more long name.:
He picks up a bus and he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town
Godzilla!
Hillary Clinton is beneath contempt. She is trying to stop Obama from becoming President and selfishly trying to get herself elected instead. How dare she participate in the democratic process.
I used to like Josh Marshall. Now he's just a whiny bitch in sexy glasses who desperately needs a shave and a spanking.
@san antone rose: Holy shit! I thought I was the only one. His mashups are fucking hilarious, but he is kind of a whiny bitch, isn't he?
@Theodore_Mobius: No, his ability to be in a crazy fit of passion at all times is pretty fascinating, is all. Many others note this more frequently than we do -- how he's effectively Clinton's #1 ally in the blog world, because there's always something wrong when he goes extreme like this...
@OreGONE: I think Hillary lost some votes because of that photograph! & don't forget ... it's doctored!
These (not all, these) Obama supporters whining about Clinton reminds me of the whining of many Gore supporters about Nader.
It's always somebody else's fault, rather than their own responsibility to make a clearly better case.
@EternalVigilance: Actually, for your analogy to work properly, if Obama is Gore, then Clinton is Hitler.
You know, the easiest way for this to end is for people to quit voting for her. As long as she's winning primaries, polling ahead in others and routinely gets almost half the vote, it's a little hard to argue that the race has been decided. Sure, mathematically, neither of them is going to get to 2025 and it's pretty difficult for her to better him with delegates or the popular vote, but people keep going to the polls and pulling her lever, so they're the true reason that the race continues.
</earnestness>
Good point. I guess there are a lot of delusional people out there, voting for Hillary. And from the time the Bosnia story broke, her daily lead in Rasmussen has gone from 1 to 2 to 3 points.
@Laura Ingalls Wildest: And the more you tell HRC's followers they're "delusional," the more they'll turn on you. So keep it up gang. You are making NPR and Air America sound like Rush Limbaugh, which is really going to play havoc with your fantasies.
@Laura Ingalls Wildest: you are fun with your "delusional" attributions!! Like Mark Penn you like to cherry pick your polls, too! . North Carolina has gone from a 5.5 point lead to 21 for Obama. Maybe you'll do us a favor and tell us what the Pennsylvania polls are saying Monday?
If everyone around you is "crazy", its probably best to leave the room - much easier than questioning yourself!!
@EternalVigilance: of course for "Clarity" one has to have some sort of standard for what counts as evidence against your position. When everything offered is rejected for ad hoc reasons, that's impossible. Its rather like the creationists rejecting evidence for the age of the earth such as dinosaur bones as simply placed their to test our faith.
What? Barack won a heavily white state? they won't vote for us. What? Barack easily wins the Black population? They always vote democrat and they don't matter as much as rural whites. I could continue, but as with creationists, once you realize they refuse to accept the facts, it would be "delusional" to think offering them more would help.
About them "rural whites"...
The UK's Daily Mirror has another cover ready with your vote on it... just insert the image of McCain or a two headed Clinton.
Will your vote beat Georges record of 59,054,087?
@EternalVigilance: I agree with the notion that the whining is a little ridiculous, since, as Magister puts it, the real issue is that people keep voting for her. Still, as a thinking person, it would be nice to see some case at all for people to vote for Clinton. Her readiness, on day one or any other day, has been more or less refuted by how she's managed to bungle a nomination that was nearly a coronation only six months ago; the examples she's provided herself of her foreign policy experience amount to some PR work that she lied about; and I haven't seen any evidence of her expertise in any other areas, either. Beyond that, she won't even release her fucking tax returns.
I'm not saying there isn't a case to be made for her, but I sure wish someone would make it.