Wonkette
This lovely hamlet is a blueprint of the first proposed Paulville community, as created on Sim City 2000 MyMiniCity, and doesn't it look Free! The Paultard-only "Paulville" is a hasty step to take, since Ron Paul still has an 80% chance of winning the Republican nomination and becoming president for life, again. Maybe it's just a contingency plan, but here is how they describe the project on its website: "The goal of Paulville.org it to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or People that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty." Many supporters have latched onto the first considered Paulville, in rural Texas, where they can hide from the Sheeple and elect Ron Paul president of the post office and World of Warcraft for centuries.
"West Texas prospect #1" is a plot of land near Dell City, Texas. Its appeal includes "price, solar and wind generation capabilities, and to many the sub tropical arid climate."
Others, however, are worried that the sub tropical arid climate will interfere with Ethernet connections.
For pornography.
But these things can be dealt with later, and they should each cut a sizable check right now, addressed to "Paulville Grandmother's Basement." Their dumb little houses in Texas will be returned in the mail within a week.
According to MyMiniCity, the model Paulville currently has a population of 245, and it shows the latest activity for past or future homesteaders. It appears at least one original Paulvillian is fed up with the imaginary town's bleak economy (17% unemployment, to be specific) and has exited the Gates of Freedom:
[Paulville.org]
Paulville2008 [MyMiniCity]
Comments
Will they practice Pauligamy there?
We built this city, we built this city on ron and paul
Ron Paul makes you think. Contrast him with Mike Gravel, who while otherwise cool and largely similar in political philosophy, somehow shuts down your brain, despite all auspicious signs.
I was watching a youtube video with Paula Gloria interviewing hippie anarchists. It was sad how little they understood of the tendency of human beings to animal aggression and gangsterism. But then again, Ron Paul is no anarchist. Thomas Jefferson worried out loud about his letters to John Adams being tampered with under the Alien & Sedition Act (which had something to do with the French, I think).
And once all the Paultards are safely behind the walls of their gated communities (moat optional) the Wonketteers will initiate a Blockade. The Paultards, wearing SCA costumes, will shoot flaming arrows of freedom, but they will be no match for the Wonketteers' mighty snark bomb.
Silly Paultards...
+ Watch video
Total Side Note - I thought all the Paultards were supposed to be moving to New Hampshire to establish their empire of liberté forever.
Does Ron Paul have to run for mayor of Paulville, or is that just assumed?
@marcelparcells: He is the assumed Emperor of Paulville. All the VIPs, Very Important Paulgrims, will soon be arriving on the Mayflower...
@Darehead: On the Mayflower? Or AT the Mayflower
"price, solar and wind generation capabilities, and to many the sub tropical arid climate." Translation: Uninhabitable desert moonscape that even the rattlesnakes won't stoop to visit.
And even the circling vultures will grow nauseous at the prospect of eating all that crazy.
Whoever published the Web site needs to learn some English. Here's two examples:
"AKA people can be off grid on there share of land." Do they mean their share of land?
"These communities are not for the faint at heard they will start as undeveloped land in non city locals." Do they mean faint of heart and city locales?
Am I being too picky or is this the normal way Paultards write?
@Darehead: That sounds unconstitutional to me. I smell a conflict of interest.
@kudzu: "normal...Paultards"? And you complain about other people's use of language?
I move we send them to Iran. That would be even worse than bombing the bastards.
Dear Paultards,
Please move to Paulville and Mr. Dr. Paul can be your overlord, finally, forever. Go soon, this opportunity may end 3 months ago.
Love,
Everyone
I thought the internet is going to shut down? Ah well...I'll post in there and remind the Paultards that there make-believe land where Ron Paul is Jesus is fleeting and wound them.
Consider it my public service.
So when they inevitably secede, and form the independent nation of Paultopia (using the U.S. Constitution), will they join the United Nations?
It looks like immigration to Paulville2008 is controlled by the number of hits to the site. With the interesting consequence that Wonkette has probably just given it a fairly major influx.
So. [paulville2008.myminicity.com] is the link that increases "security" in the town. Hit it. Hit it many times. Make it so that every second person in this libertarian utopia is a cop.
The name "Saint Paul" is already taken.
@ponies!: Yes, that would be an accurate description of Dell City, Texas. It's hard to find good available real estate when you want to pay in silver dollars you collected from Easter eggs.
I like this sequence of "news" alerts:
"23 March: A new inhabitant has come to PaulVille2008."
then
"23 March: The police force of PaulVille2008 has been reinforced."
SECURE THE FUCKING BORDERS ALREADY
I enjoyed my brief visit to Paulistan, but Palsama wasn't in.
@JimNewell: The host is? Europe? On the East Coast it is still 22 March....
The Ron Paul supporters ... with no sarcasm intended, I say this ... should take all this gold and make a huge mountain of gold in Montana or Nevada or somewhere were Ron Paul did well and make it some kind of Ron Paul historical center.
Did anyone check Paulville's myspace page out?
[www.myspace.com]
I would say it's a hoot, but I can't read a damn thing on it.
@DarkTimes: "Largely similar in political philosophy?" Paul is a pro-life, anti-gay marriage, anti-"amnesty" free-market libertarian. Gravel is pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, is in favor of a guest worker program, and wants the government to pay for everyone's healthcare. Unless being a cranky old coot is a political philosophy, I don't think they're similar.
@DarkTimes: Seriously. This is like when people say they want Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul together on the same ticket. BEING A MAGICAL ELF IS NOT A SHARED POLITICAL VIEWPOINT.
I agree with you about Mike Gravel shutting down brains, though. That man is like kryptonite for brains. He is brain kryptonite.
Uhm, none of the Dems are promising a secret city full of portly middle-aged white men in sweat pants! WAKE UP AMERICA!
@Jewdishoowary Square: Everything has to come down to wedge issues like abortion politics and butt secks politics, right?
So it looks as if by visiting this page, we have caused the population to grow without doing other things like "increasing industry" or "increasing security". We have destroyed the Paultards' dreams (on the Internetz).
Every single child born in Paulville will be delivered by "President and OB-GYN For Life" DOCTOR Ron Paul.
Ironically, Wonkette is singlehandedly responsible for the proliferation of Paultards in Paultard-utopia. It's a pyrrhic victory for the Paultards, though, because their utopia's economy is falling apart due to overpopulation. Maybe if they hadn't dissolved the government, they could get welfare and unemployment benefits.
Judging by the picture, there will be absolutely none of that socialistic, wicked ZONING crap in Paulville.
Has R.E.M. recorded "Don't Go Back To Paulville" yet?
"The goal of Paulville.org it to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or People that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty."
The contradiction is beautiful in its simplicity.
I count 8 gas stations and one church. How much for a penthouse in the only nine-story building?
@NBAWRITER1:
Humming
All the Way to Paulville
Dusted the non-believers
And challenge the laws of chance...
(Apologies to Mr. Stipe)
Looking at the plan though, I don't see a Blimp-o-drome. I mean, there just has to be a place for Air Farce One, surely...
"Criminality" is at 0%. How do I start raping people so I can populate the city with my own hellspawn?
.@Senator Boomdog: 0% criminality, which is why the Paulistinian homeland was established. Raping, pillaging, doping, feeding dead bodies to Chinese pandas and French pigs are all permitted. But Wild Ron Paulcock gets shot in the first episode, holding an ace of spades, ace of clubs, two black eights - clubs and spades - and the jack of diamonds. And the people decide little by little to establish a few laws and social organizations. Then suddenly HBO cancels for no reason.
A Paulist Commune, eh? Another blow against creeping collectivism.
I'm picturing something like Green Acres only much, much stupider. Ron Paul is Mr. Haney.
[en.wikipedia.org]
Eliot Spitzer converted to Neoconism in Paulville's only church. He is opening a combination card room and liquor store, "The Eliot. Poker in the Front, and Liquor in the Rear."
@HalfGlassFull: No gays, no blacks, no war, no illicit gubernatorial philandering.
Sounds boring.
@kudzu: It IS the way Paultards write. Courtesy of NeoPaulitans.
@ponies!: Are you SURE it is around Dell City and not Eldorado?? The FLDS compound is up for sale. And they only have one church. No T1 lines, and you have to install your own moat.
Four words: Lord-of-the-Flies.
Otherwise, as long as the gate locks on the outside, it's fine.
Those Libertarians aren't very big on infrastructure, are they? How about some roads and electricity?
If they are looking for a site for their gated freedom compound within whose walls they can practice their cult, might I suggest Waco?
Also? Isn't the phrase "Ron Paul supporters and or People" an admission by one of them that Paultards are not people?
That MyMiniCity shit is full of spyware and trojans your PC might just commit suicvide in order to end the agony.
I wonder if they can build it on an abandoned offshore oil platform? Maybe near Antarctica... or better yet smack in the middle of Antarctica.
Sadly enough, Paul's only polling 3% there also.
I think a gated community for thePaultards is an excellent idea--as long as I have the key and it locks from the outside.
Obamatown's in much better shape:
[obama-town.myminicity.com]
@FunkyPalmettoBug: And Ron Paul stayed flat.
How will these geniuzes do collective stuff like sewers which are paid and maintained thru the use of, horrors, taxes? My guess is that the Paultards will be just left to pick a corner in a room to take a shit in.
@ManchuCandidate: I think that's how they already do it.
Wittgenstein said it was hard to imagine a society of the feeble minded. I guess he didn't know any Paultards.
@AdamBLang: I think Barack has a whole virtual utopia, there.
& by the looks of it, Ron Paul's town IS GOING TO NEED centralized planning. Oh no no noez!!! Not the Federal Reserve! Not F.E.M.A.! Not Interpol, or the F.B.I., or the parcel post system!!!
Old Ron Paul had a farm, O-B-G-Y-N,
And then that farm became a town, O-B-G-Y-N,
With a Paultard here and a Paultard there,
And desert everywhere...
@Serolf Divad:
I think that the offshore platform nations are a better organized bunch of yahoos than the Paultards.
@lumpenprole: Freedonia doesn't own a platform; they don't possess any territory at all.
yeh yeh yeh, it's called Seattle
Imagine all the gold their overlord will take with him though!
The news bulletin is a buffet of comedy:
[23/03] Squiggyfm: Wait...I thought that the interwebs is going to shut down because Ron Paul isn't going to be President.
[23/03] oompaul loompaul: I can bring you industry...and CHOCOLATE BUNNIES...
[23/03] WONKETTER: Teh Intarnetz is no place for you bumpkins to build your city. Your economy is looking like that of the USSR in 1990.
[23/03] Ron Paul Newsletter: RON PAUL DEMAND SEGREGATED AREAS FOR DA JEWZ AND MUD PEOPLEZ.
[23/03] LIBERTE´: The currency is Euros? Where can I change my moneyz? The little pink house? I WANT PESOS.
[23/03] tardz: omg the currency is euros the dollar has collapsed we need teh gold standardz
[23/03] Paulookaville: These dirt roads are making it really difficult to get to the herbal medicine center... How am I supposed to protect my precious bodily fluids?!!?
[23/03] Head Paultard: ATTENTION: We have selected Three Mile Island as the location for Paulville. Please begin relocating immediately, for Freedom and Liberty!
[23/03] Tard Jr : It looks like the socialists have snuck in and started to build public infrastructure! Destroy!
@Dr. Spaceman: Hail, hail, Freedonia, home of the brave aaaannnd freeeeeeee.
Wait a minute, I want to be careful before giving up my lease. The cleaning deposit is at stake.
"The goal of Paulville.org it to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or People that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty."
Is that freedom and liberty? Which do you draw first?
100% Ron Paul Supporters?
Sorry, it killed my picture. What I meant to say is, "100% Ron Paul Supporters?" and then post this:
Because, you know, it would be 100% fun. And the first song on this album, as I recall, is "Sick of Myself." So it would also be 100% appropriate, right, Paultards?
@loquaciousmusic: Ron Paul is going to beat your authoritarian Charlie Crist in the 2012 General Eelections. (Of course, John McCain has to resign in shame when a clone of Vicki Iseman admits to actually having an affair back in 2000.)
@willisdyer: You mean a nation of "Carls"?
Too bad it's located so close to Ross Perot's giant sucking sound.
@Outstando: Maybe it will get sucked into the time-space oblivion and only appear one day every 100 years, like Brigadoon. Just dreamin'...
Only 100% Ron Paul supporters. Those who aren't "true believers" must be cleansed from the cult..er..colony.
I suspect the settling of Paulville will be similar to the game Oregon Trail.
"YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY."
"Paulstown" would be a good name.
Ahhhh! It appears 'My Mini City' is a *French* bit of software (the process messages are in french!). What good can come of living in infrastructure from a socialist country! AHHHHHHHHH......
"...Looks like I've lost my friends,
Oh Lord, stuck in Paulville againnnn...."