Eliot Spitzer To Suffer Harrowing Withdrawal From Sex Addiction

Everyone knows that fun things are bad for you, and if you do enough fun things repeatedly then you are an "addict." A man who has fun sex with hookers, for example, is a shamefully diseased sex addict on the verge of sexing himself to death. But generous Fate intervened on behalf of addict Eliot Spitzer, who has reportedly entered therapy to cure himself of this strange compulsion to have enjoyable no-strings-attached sex with young women. How long before the cure "takes"?

The addict was last spotted on Saturday heading to his weekend home, where he was expected to lock himself in a bedroom with nothing but a bucket and his own hallucinatory nightmares of dead ceiling-babies as he sweats out the difficult first 72 hours of going off sex cold turkey.

If he survives these crucial first days -- and that's a big if -- he will be all the better prepared to weather the rest of his married life, which we imagine will be sex-free as the Clinton marriage.

 Eliot's Sexual Healing [New York Post]