Pooping Bandit Strikes Minnesota Homeland!

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Would you like fries with your poop sandwich?A defecating terrorist invaded the heart of American democracy on Sunday and literally crapped all over it. St. Paul police reported that a shitmonger breached the defenses of the mighty Minnesota Homeland Security and Emergency Management building and pooped in several rooms before prancing off into the night.

The Shitting Bandit apparently just wandered in through an unlocked door in, let’s repeat that, the Minnesota Homeland Security building. He was captured on film by surveillance cameras, but police doubt they will ever get the sick individual in custody.

Please feel free to speculate in the comments regarding this identity of this comical terrorist, and thank you Monsieur Grumpe for bringing this very important Homeland Information to our attention.

Police doubt they’ll ever find the poop on who soiled offices [Star Tribune] (We know this link may require a 7-day free registration but it is quick and worth it)

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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