Thug Panda Butterstick Nearly Humps D.C. Zookeeper’s Leg To Death

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Unrepentant pimpThe kids, they grow up so fast these days! Not so long ago, our little Butterstick was the National Zoo’s newest adorable panda cub, conceived in a blissful and loving act of artificial insemination. Now officially called “Tai Shan,” he is all growns up and raping zookeepers. At least, we assume that is what they mean when the Washington Post says he made “physical contact” with one of his caretakers.

After all, what other sort of brief encounter would result in a zookeeper being trucked off to the hospital? She was treated for lacerations on her leg after Butterstick “contacted” her at feeding time.

So basically, a horny 170-pound teen panda got randy with some lady’s leg, the end.

Zookeeper Taken to Hospital After Tai Shan Makes ‘Contact’ With Her [Washington Post]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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