As everybody knows, the hedonists in New York frequently find themselves at the mercy of horrible little animals called “bedbugs” who are attracted to the stench of moral impurity. And recently, a swarm of these bloodsucking parasites overtook the Fox News offices in Midtown Manhattan! Yes, ha ha, it took a little while for employees to figure out the latest foul insect pest wasn’t just Hannity’s weekend replacement. Now we hear rumors that the source of the infestation has been identified and FIRED.
Our pals at Gawker got a tip that the fired employee was “a satellite desk guy who was greasy and gross.” Hmm. Rove?
Bedbugs at Fox News [New York Times]
Fox Bedbug Culprit Found? [Gawker]
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Hee hee. I’m an entomologist and what delights me about this is knowing that quite a few of the folks at Fox have probably infested their homes with bedbugs by now. The darn things lay eggs wherever they’ve been feeding and the eggs stick to stuff, like people.
Another fun fact: bedbugs reproduce via a process called “traumatic insemination”. The males just punch their penis into the females wherever (creating a hole), and the sperm swims to the reproductive tract. Often the females are killed if the male jabs in a vital area – like the head.
I imagine Bill O’Reilly does something similar when he mates.
Geekgasm over.
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