‘Rat Swarm’ Rumors Cripple Washington

Ben, you're always running here and there Fears of a massive rat & roach spring swarm have crippled much of the District this evening as horrified office workers and other war profiteers watch major thoroughfares blocked off by mounted police while 20-foot-tall “rat proofing” concrete barriers are raised from Georgetown to Foggy Bottom. Law enforcement officials are keeping quiet about the real reasons for the horror stampede, and many locals fear for their lives. What the living hell is going on?

Experts say the real Happy Fifth Birthday of John McCain/Dick Cheney’s Failed War In Iraq is tomorrow, March 19. And guess what sort of people have been planning something special for this date?

Paultards.

Paultards + Libtards.

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Paultards + Libtards plus the ones who ride their bicycles together and holler at the street lights and rage against the machines.

We’ll have a full, terrible, detailed preview of all the shit that’s coming up tomorrow. So keep hitting refresh, frantically, while we finish up that thing. And if you have a lot of temps at your office, or if you teach at one of D.C.’s universities, might as well just stay home tomorrow, unless you enjoy being alone all day while riot cops tear-gas the Code Pink gals outside and prevent you from even walking out to get a sandwich.

Antiwar Protests Mark Iraq War Anniversary in D.C. [Washington Post]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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