What They're Saying About John McCain

Did you enjoy Barack Obama's latest hopeful speech that will bring us together? Well, good for you, because maverick confused senior citizen John McCain is being rewarded for his lifetime of corruption with an astonishing 67% Gallup Poll Approval Rating. We asked our panel of editors to comment on McCain's eventual fate as well as Hopeful Barry's performance. And they answered with stuff like, "It would be fun to torture that old man."

1. So how was Barry's speech?

2. It was awesome and I got sappy and some commenters hate me now.

3. It was hot shit. Best since his South Carolina dealy. But white people may just hate him more.

4. But does anyone realize that once Dumb America actually looks at McCain, and hears his whining old-man terrible voice, that they will hate him as they always hate the old and weak?

5. We may pray that happens.

6. People like Sullivan keep saying a McCain-Barack match-up would be great for America, because they are both "honest."

7. There is literally nothing honest about John McCain. He is a complete fraud. Also a war traitor. 

8. And as the Banking System collapses, bored reporters will be forced to come back to the fact that he is the most corrupt person on Earth who caused the 1980s to suck, and also the S&L crisis.

9. Maybe McCain will drop out and Hillary can run as the Republican.

10. The media makes him look like a god because he talks to them candidly on his hippie bus. But he also wants to declare war on everything forever. I think that will "hurt" a bit when he's running against, say, anyone else.

11. The media infatuation with John McCain is one of the many reasons I wish I'd found a career in something useful, like sewage treatment or running a steroids ring.

12. You are both misunderestimating him. Somehow magically the news will soon tell us THE SURGE IS WORKING and before you know it America is cheering for war, again, and swearing in President John McCain, who cares nothing about the economy.

13. But he was a foot in the Reagan!

14. So true, and you see how much America hated THAT weak old man.

15. But that weak old man didn't LOOK it. When I see that dingbat old McCain shuffling around in his fucking sweaters with his neck flaps and confused rat eyes, I finally "get" the whole Elder Abuse thing.