Wonkette
Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann recently took a little break from her baby-farming to remind voters of how crazy she is. She assured her constituents that God had not abandoned them in Iraq and called global warming "voodoo." She also warned them about a terrible place called "Democrat land" where something is horrifically wrong with the phone systems. More gibberish after the jump.
At the Sherburne County Republican convention, nice Minnesotans and Representative Michele Bachmann gathered to elect delegates to the state convention and hammer out their party platform. Bachmann suggested they come out strongly against earth-destroying compact fluorescent lightbulbs:
"By 2012, incandescent light bulbs will be no more. Fluorescent bulbs are more polluting because of their mercury content. We are working on the light bulb bill. If the Democrats can hose up a light bulb don't trust them with the country."
She also talked about the mythical Democrat Land, in which 80% of terrorist-stopping opportunities are suppressed by the government.
"Eighty percent of all cell phone calls are routed through the United States and we can intercept them and get this information to help keep our troops safe," Bachmann said. "Not in Democrat land!"
America, do you want these terrorists to be tying up our phone lines or not? If no, then vote for the gal who hates lightbulbs.
16B Candidates Kiffmeyer, Lumley Attend Convention [West Sherburne Tribune]
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In Michele's defense, flourescent lighting makes everyone look like shit. Of course, I'm sure she'd go for something much more age-appropriate, like candlelight. Or torches.
If listening to my cell phone keeps the troops safe, than please enter my home, sit down and have dinner with my family.
Oh yeah? Does she know that often cellphone screens are often (back) lit by flourescent lights???
What is she doing to bring high current heat producing incandescent bulbs to our cellphones?
Apparently they just have to hook her womb up to a power grid to light most of Eastern Minnesota. I think the oft-used picture above was right before St. Cloud went into a brown-out.
She's half-right about the light bulbs. You shouldn't be allowed to throw fluorescents in the garbage any more than you can a quart of motor oil. I'd say the solution would be more forced recycling than a return to incandescents, but then I'm a commie who hates America, not a true-blue sex machine.
The light bulb in her head was no more back in 2000.
I'd like to hose her up.
Everyone knows that Bachman is just a puppet of "Big Tungsten"
She wrote another op-ed in the Minneapolis paper the other day railing about all the terrorist attacks that have been prevented by illegal wiretapping. 19 in all, did ya' know? Her authoritative source -- the Heritage Foundation.
Religious stupid crazy and ignorant. A winning combination.
I stick pins into my globe of the earth. There are 19 at the North Pole. That is my voodoo. Die, polar bears, Die.
she's hot for god therefore the voodoo in her hoohoo melts polar ice caps. she's to blame!
She looks blinded by light bulbs in that picture.
Or maybe she just saw a really big word.
If only she had a light bulb in her freakin' head which we could replace with a fluorescent. But alas, all is dark in that space.
On the other hand, any light at all would be an upgrade.
But then, we might not like seeing all the spiders and bats and stuff.
Now I'm going on, aren't I.
Please people ... do not get this woman confused with the brand of pretzel...
There must be some good "How many Michele Bachmans does it take to change a lightbulb" but I can't think of them now.
Oops, forgot "joke" in there somewhere
Michelle Bachmann gives "bat shit" a whole new meaning.
You think she's crazy enough to do me? I mean, I'd do her.
/ducks behind bushes
Q: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two thirds.
If teh Demrats stop us from using light bulbs then the terrorists HAVE won!
Q: How many of Michele Bachmann's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. It's a sin to screw, even light bulbs.
Easy on Bachmann - the tards need representation too ya know.
@Lazy Media: ...thats why I pour my motor oil into the canal behind my house! Silly Rabbit!!!
@brokeback_romney: ...doesnt she remind you of that girl in highschool who you could talk into have unprotected sex with you by telling her if she jumps up and down she wont get pregnant(dont ask me how I know, Muhahahahaha).
"How many Michele Bachmans does it take to screw in a lightbulb"
...just one, but it will burn twice as long as a bulb screwn in by a democrat.
...just one, but the bulb that burns twice as crazy burns half as long.
...Just one, but you hafta pile all 27 children ontop of each other to reach the bulb.
....three. One to hold the bulb, one to be so crazy the world starts spinning, and one to grope the president.
When Obama is elected President and sends her off to the forced labor camps (because that's what Pol Pot did, and he was a Democrat, right?) I hope Michelle is in charge of changing the lightbulbs. Hahahahaha (bites little finger).
Let's ban all light bulbs. The terrorists won't be able to find us in the dark.
Bachman is whacko. If she doesn't get knocked out of her seat this year, there is seriously something wrong with the nothern suburbs.
Her lights are on, but no one's home.
"Hose up a light bulb"? Is that some new Republican sex trick?
To be fair, Michele, in Democrat-land the troops are in harm's way a helluva lot less often.
Michelle, Steven King of Iowa, Shelly Sekula-Gibbs, Marsha Blackburn, Nancy-boy's Adam Putnam and Patrick McHenry etc. ad nauseum--where do they find these self-righteous, strident idiots? Believe me, I realize this crew is just a tiny sampling of the republican field.
What I want to know, are the people who comprise their districts as totally batshit, nuts as they are? I've done a lot of travelling in my lifetime, but I have never seen a bunch goofballs like these.
They're a gift sadly, that just keeps on giving.
In all honesty, I'd love nothing more than to visit an amusement park named Democrat Land.
The rich would be charged more for admission, you'd have to sign 30 pages of waivers before you get on a ride, and registered minorities get to cut in line.
Watch out, Disney!
Minnesotans enjoy their aberrations with good humor. They plan to put Bachmann on a stick, dip her in hot oil and sell her in booths at the State Fair. You can get one on your way to the double-headed hog show.
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Oh, and of course she believes global warming is a voodoo hoax! She's from Minnesota!
You know what else would keep the troops safe?
Getting them the fuck out of the Middle East.
@queeraselvis: AGREED. The light bulb bill is cruel and unusual punishment or the misdeeds of our environmentally idiotic pasts.
On the other hand, I'm awed that Michelle managed to get through the first speech in her life where she doesn't obsess about the gay mafia. Could Bachmann be switching psychoses?
Well, at least Bachmann is consistent. She supports having insane amounts of babies on the one hand, and on the other hand she supports sending massive amounts of troops to be slaughtered in useless wars. The apotheosis of pro-lifedom. At least we're going to have some attrition there.
Why hasn't the DCCC made this woman the face of crazy Republicandom? They need to get on the ball with some direct mail. I'd gladly donate twenty bucks to get this woman the hell out of Congress. Does she even have an opponent.
You know, the main reason not to vote for Obama is the prospect of the slow-dawning freakout when the right wakes up on Nov. 8 and realizes it's given unstoppable powers of eavesdropping, detention and torture to Dictator for Life Hillary Rodham Clinton, a woman with plenty of reasons to be pissed off at them.
@The_Lev: No chance of the libs winning that district. There's a reason she's there. Even moderates get crucified as communists.
Wonder who gave her that pearl necklace. Ha ha.
She's been listening to Rush Dimbulb.
@Darehead: So this devout christian believes in Voodoo? Has she informed her associates at the Heritage foundation of her conflicting beliefs? Mormons don't like Voodoo you know. On the cell phone thing, I'm part of the cell phone resistance ever since I read about the link to brain tumors, which possibly explains why so many wealthy cell phone carrying repugs are so completely bonkers. Poor folk like me with our obselescent land lines get to save our brains (for tasty zombie snacks later).
@Motortruck: To hear her talk it is clear her only education on the issues come from KTLK talk radio.
First things first Michelle, before you leave the house look into a mirror and take one piece of jewelery off. Then consider, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should do something.Please remember to turn off the lights when you leave.
The "Light Bulb Bill"? Geez, where's Frank Luntz when you need him.
@brokeback_romney: Sure, you could 'do' her, but she'd just get pregnant again. Unless she already was ... ewww.
80% of all cellphone calls are routed through the US?
Where the hell does this loon get her statistics?
Why the fuck would Japan, China & Europe, where they use their phones to buy shit from vending machines, run their calls through here?
It's beyond crazy, it's batshit stupid!
She CAN'T be a real Minnesotan. She doesn't end every sentence "now, don'cha know?" I've never met anyone from that state who didn't at one time use that mannerism.
@LNCK: Ya don't say. Okie doke.
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And they call 9/11 Truthers terrorists. In the middle of the night we 9/11 Truthers aren't building bombs, we're doing our homework on the internets.
+ Watch video
Stephen Breyer - The Supreme Court During Wartime
@LNCK: You betcha!
@TheMac: Wasn't "Light Bulb Bill" that animated bulb that used to hawk energy conservation? If not, it was one helluva hallucination.
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