John McCain's Wild Iraqi Weekend!

Hey, remember that hilarious old man who is going to win the American Presidency by bombing everything except Florida? Our friend John McCain went to Iraq this weekend to wish its war a happy 5th birthday -- and he took his lucky red hat with him! (His hat has magical bulletproof powers, and keeps his scalp from sliding off.) Join us for some delightful photos of John McCain and his whirlwind tour of the desert wasteland he loves even more than his "home" state of Arizona!

On long flights you'll find most ordinary Americans downing Xanax and vodka while gazing numbly at big-budget action flicks that make more sense with the sound off. But America's next President unwinds by clutching his lucky red hat to his chest and thinking about where to make the next war.

Here he is arriving in scenic Mosul and looking for the men's room. We believe that's South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham grinning in the background. So where's the third senator who came on this trip, Vinegar Joe Lieberman? He's fishing around the back of the helicopter, looking for his own lucky hat -- the one that keeps his jowls from drooping into his neck.

It is so safe in Iraq these days that John McCain is wearing a bulletproof vest forfashion.

McCain listens intently while his lucky hat addresses the assembled dignitaries.

Oh and look who came to join them! It's Dick Cheney with a fresh load of shredded documents and murdered woodland creatures . Party's in his room tonight!

 McCain Visits Iraq to Meet With Officials [New York Times]