Condi Waxes Brazilian

 

OMG!!Having to beg from Congress with those awful red-handed Code Pink hausfraus mocking you isn’t a very nice way to start your week, but Condi Rice got rewarded with a two-day fiesta in Brazil! Yay! Join the Condi Carnival, after the jump!


Carpet MunchersMonday was a busy day for America’s Princess Diplobot™. Among other things, she met with her lesbian lover, Israeli foreign minister Tzipi Livni. Later, as if to prove she was in it for the girls, if you know what I mean, she hosted a photo-op entitled The Women of Courage Awards.

“The day is an opportunity to highlight a broad range of issues of common concern to all women,” Condi revealed. LOL, I think she meant a “range of broad issues.” But anyway, here are the women of courage, made all the more courageous by their willingness to pose for a picture with a war criminal (all large photos AP):

Home of the brave

Last Monday was also neat because of the reemergence of her invisible friend. Remember? Condi has a small, spherical, invisible companion she likes to cuddle and confer with in times of stress, and here she is sharing it in the White House with some lady and creepy Stephen Hadley:

Invisible Magic 8 Ball

CondiUpskirt.jpgWednesday was an annoying day for Dr. Ferragamo, because she had to go before Congress and, you know, justify her love for war in Iraq. To make matters worse, she had to deal with Reuters photographer Kevin Lamarque trying to get upskirt shots the whole time. This seems to be one of Reuters’ golden quests. And as if that weren’t enough, the whole time she was on the stand she also had to contend with the ultra-irritating Code Pink ladies and their red hands raised mockingly behind her. Just pretend you don’t know they’re there, Condi:

So annoying

OMG, like, hi!But all that went away on Thursday, because Condi got to go on a trip to fabulous Brazil! Yay! Once there, she dodged questions about her cartoonish South American nemesis, the hilariously cantankerous Hugo Chavez, and mainly hung around the rich people, having photo-ops ‘n meetings, like she does. But it was funny, because at every single one of her pressers, Chavez was brought up in the first few questions, leaving Condi all stammery.

Friday was mostly just a fun day for the overworked secretary. She went to the historic Bahia section, the African part of Brazil, because, as she revealed to startled reporters a day earlier, “I am, of course, myself of — partly of African descent.” No way! And this is where, finally, we got some of the casual shots of Condi that make Condiwatching so great. First off, here she is using Karen Hughes’ old trick of surrounding herself with a protective cloud of adorable children:

Rhythm pig

Here she is a little earlier at the airport being greeted by a lady in a great hat:

Kabbala bracelet?

And here she is with Bahia State’s Governor Jaques (sic) Wagner, who doesn’t look very Afro-Brazilian:

The Rhythm is gonna get you

Hooray for casual photo-ops! After that quick bit of fun, it was off to Chile for more nosy questions about Hugo Chavez. Seriously, people, can’t you just leave it alone? She was also asked about civil liberties on the other side of the world, in Russia, to which she responded, hilariously, “Well, the proof will be in the pudding, right?” So true!

And that was the Condiweek that was! She did a lot of things, went a lot of places, and accomplished nothing whatsoever, and that makes it a pretty typical week! What’s on her platter this week? Well, today she’s going to Moscow with tiny Robert Gates. Why? For nothing, according to the Commies. Yay for consistency!

Veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) explores the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™ each week at Wonkette!

PREVIOUSLY: Condi’s Running Out of Time

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