Everybody knew 2008 would be a very historic year for various genders and races becoming president, but little did we expect that all of our “melting pot” dreams would come true so soon, and so sweetly. Americans can stand up and feel proud, for we have our first blind governor!
All it took was for Crusading Justice Crusader Eliot Spitzer to first make everyone in New York hate him, and then be caught making shady electronic transfers to a virtual brothel, and then get caught hooking up with a very young Jersey Girl with hip-hop dreams, and then quit in shame as nobody cared to stand up for him. This is how America works, and it works so fine. Feels good!
And now we’ve reached the Promised Land. A blind man, as governor of New York — this was Dr. King’s dream and this was Abraham Lincoln’s dream, and now the dream has been realized in all its patriotic glory. Look around, America. Look at your new governor of New York, David Paterson. Look at him, America, as he can’t really look at you.