The New York Times has a profile up of "Kristen." Her name is actually Ashley Alexandra Dupré, and her story is imaginably depressing. But then if you go to her MySpace page , it plays a pretty blah hip-hop song ("amateurish, hip-hop inflected rhythm and blues tune that asks, 'Can you handle me, boy?' and uses some dated slang, calling someone her 'boo,'" says the mean New York Times ). That's when we lost sympathy, and also why she'll probably get a record deal within hours. [ NYT ]