A New, Very Gay Larry Craig Court Reply

 

Wow, we’d gotten so entangled in the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal that we forgot about America’s Gays and their leader, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho. What’s that unbelievably gay man been up to recently? When not scanning over intern applications, it seems he’s still going on about that little airport incident last summer. His lawyers have entered another “reply” to the court of Minnesota, arguing in vain that What He Did was not gay at all. Let’s find the most hilariously gay moments of this 42-page document!

First, Larry Craig was not acting disorderly at all. How do we know this? Because, uh, no one was shouting at a “small teenage girl.” True! We’ll raise that a few more notches — there were never any girls, of any age or body size, involved in this incident whatsoever:

And those things Larry Craig said while being interrogated? Them’s was not “fighting words” at all. They were sweet nothings:

Finally, it seems to be Craig’s lawyers’ case that the police officer was really the gay one, and that he should go to Gay Jail.

[Reply Brief (PDF) via Muckraked]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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