Secret Culprit Behind Spitzer’s Shame: Jesus

He is LOLling in his graveYou might think that wiretaps, IRS investigations, and prostitutes led to New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s current difficulties, but in fact it was God, via the Family Research Council. The conservative FRC never liked Spitzer and his abortion-loving ways, so to fight back they did the only sensible thing: they prayed to the Lord to nail that flaming charlatan’s balls to the blessed Rock of Gibraltar.

Just last month, the FRC made Spitzer a target of one of some sort of prayer bomb, set to detonate over abortionist New York politicians. Here’s how the prayer went:

May God intervene to stop Governor Spitzer from succeeding in this evil ambition to make abortion a “fundamental right” in New York! May pro-life New Yorkers somehow prevail, even as they did when he pursued Crisis Pregnancy Centers in 2002! May New Yorkers arise and stir their neighbors to understand the consequences of pursuing this course, and may this bill be defeated!

God 1, Spitzer zero.

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

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