Ruh roh, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer is a master of whores! A Hebrew pimp? A baldilocks whoremonger? A fishmonger dabbling in whores, with a cod piece of cold ethical hypocrisy? O, such country matters. Anyway, just what exactly is this Spitzer doing with these sloppy whores? Let’s liveblog his press conference…
2:45 — This 2:15 EDT press conference is not on time.
2:48 — Ha ha, it’s old people playing Wii! Read that, and then come back for the whore press conference.
2:50 — Ooh look, Spitzer’s victimized New York wife works for Hillary Clinton (PDF)! Now she can run for the Senate, after a listening tour.
2:53 — A lady who wrote a book about Eliot Spitzer says, from London, that this is “very bad” for Eliot Spitzer. And that’s why she’s in London, where liars live.
2:59 — But did Roger Clemens take steroids at Jose Conseco’s house?
3:00 — **A secret Wonkette operative in the New York Attorney General’s office hears that Eliot Spitzer will resign.** But this may be false?
3:05 — **Wonkette hears from its secret operative in the New York Attorney General’s office that Spitzer is reportedly resigning. This is more substantive that the 3:00 entry, which also had two asterisks.**
3:08 — Apparently, Spitzer may have been a client of “The Emperor’s Club,” where powerful men get their knob polished.
3:11 — Spitzer is speaking!
3:12 — He violated his family!
3:12 — He apologizes to his family!
3:12 — He apologizes to the public!
3:14 — WORST PRESS CONFERENCE EVER. He didn’t resign here, but he did talk for a whole 35 or 40 seconds, and that he would be “reporting back” to us. Thanks, whoremonger.
3:16 — Here’s what Democrat-friendly Fox News says: “Sources Tell FOX News N.Y Gov. Eliot Spitzer Will Be Indicted, Resign Over Involvement in Prostitution Ring.”
3:18 — That’s the end of this liveblogging, until Spitzer “reports back” to us. Will he resign? Is he gay?
3:22 — Nevermind, the liveblogging will go on forever. Here’s what the NYT has to say now:
Gov. Eliot Spitzer has been caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet with a high-priced prostitute at a Washington hotel last month, according to a person briefed on the federal investigation.
The wiretap recording, made during an investigation of a prostitution ring called Emperors Club VIP, captured a man identified as Client 9 on a telephone call confirming plans to have a woman travel from New York to Washington, where he had reserved a room. The person briefed on the case identified Mr. Spitzer as Client 9.
…HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!
3:26 — Sounds like a great time to check out these sexy whores that Eliot Spitzer’s been screwing. Ooh, did Client 9 fuck this one?:
Damn! Someone find a picture of the precise whore that Eliot Spitzer/Client 9 righteously fucked.
3:35 — Liveblogging is done, again, for now. We will keep you informed on Client 9′s latest prostitute sex.
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