Wonkette

Sounds like only one person voted...

It's a one person party.

Well to be fair, one of the ex-presidents has an illness. Otherwise Bohdi would surf all over Keyes.

"If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love."

- Bodhi (aka Patrick Swayze)

It means we're going to get a new writer for Wonkette from Gawker... isn't that right?

@Eac_o_System: You're stuck with me forever. Which is gawker?

I am not asking to rteplace you ... I would just like to know if there will be a replacement for out-going Greg Wasserstrom... Gawker is that media opperation in New York...

The six qualified candidates are apparently three incarnations of Alan Keyes,which must surely mean he is Rush Limbaugh's Magical Negro.

It means Alan Keyes is more popular among his own party than Saddam Hussein. So when are we invading Lancaster, Pennsylvania?

Hmm.. Maybe the Paultards could go along to this shindig and open up a huge can of whoop-ass on 'em, as a sort of a warm up for the RNC.

Viva Le R-love-ution!

Vote for Alan. He'll treat you like family.

This. This is the most delicious news ever. I would hope this gets play in the big ol' media, but hope is a registered trademark of Obama (TM). So let me just strongly desire that the inestimably crazy Al Keyes winds up tying a log to his car, plowing though the GOP convention during a keynote like the Blues Brothers through that mall, then crawls sobbing out of the steaming wreckage and demands to know "Why don't you love me?! WHY?!" *weep*

I just heard that one of Obama's economic advisers is a member of Skull & Bones, Austan Goolsby.

The irony is, this might actually help Obama against Hillary-McCain.

Ambassador?

I never met a Black man who talked as white as Deval Patrick or Alan Keyes in real life, and I lived in Chicago and Oakland. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It was cool when Michael Moore got Alan Keyes to stage dive into a mosh pit. I mean, how can you knock that?

Since Wonkette is now "the media," I hope this esteemed blog will also keep us informed about the platforms and candidates of all the other important US political parties, the ones we don't know exist until we are inside the little voting booth, like:
[sp-usa.org]
[www.cpusa.org]

@Darehead: The masses don't understand Wonkette.

@DryFact: Then we won't get spammed so much when we snark them.

@Darehead: I don't like forced snarkiness, but I like Wonkette because it basically expresses how I see the world. (I.e., extremely depressing.)

Only Alan Keyes knows the Secret Formula to beating Barry Obama.
[www.cnn.com]

OK, serious question for world savvy Wonketteers:

Will the David Axelrod mustache become the new fashion for money-connected political operatives?

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This is what *really* happened, leebruls.

The CP has a class website! I especially enjoyed the "Don't waste your vote" page.

Maybe the other parties will be inspired to add corresponding features to their website such as:
"Help us stop the CIA torturing people" (GOP)
"Why we think the economy's just fine" (DEM)

it's 1 AM here and I apologize but I'm going to impose you with a long essay I wrote that got me banned from HuffPo:

this is a draft of an article I'm working on called "Horror and the Philosopher."

HORROR INTRODUCES THE PHILOSOPHER TO POLITICS

The pressing question for me is the problem of horror. This is a philosophical question, not political or ideological. However, the status of the philosopher as a stranger in society is itself political, because that form of life produces new thoughts which may dissent from the State. He is suspected by the State, and he probably even suspects himself. He cannot survive too well in more authoritarian countries, so it is the liberal society that produces the philosopher -- as opposed to the pamphleteer or the polemicist. Liberal society educates him to fear no truth, so he underestimates the danger of thinking, that is, he underestimates his own dangerousness. Of course, education is limited and limiting in its function and its scope, including its responses to the realities of horror in the world, especially the horrors of the State. Nevertheless, the time comes for too many when they are confronted with undeniable unforgettable horror where the State is involved. Then the philosopher can become political, and dangerous to the State or other powerful interests and forces, as his attention is directed to the discovery of a horror that is inseparable with his own identity. Even when the danger is revealed, the habits of thinking and individual autonomy are not accustomed to being overpowered by perceived threats, whether they are cultural threats, threats from individuals or the mob, or threats from the State. (Consider the free-wheeling discussion on blogs and internet forums.)

It is an existential question to ask, What is a monster? Who is a monster? Am I a monster? If there are monsters, must there also be heroes, even heroes who are other monsters? In movies, monsters can be heroic, by defeating an even more horrible monster (like the Predator in Alien vs. Predator, or King Kong). Horror is power dominating powerlessness. Primal injustice. Slavery. Torture. Rape. (Even sometimes prisons.) Situations of no escape, except in the movie where the hero breaks free and destroys the powerful monstrous foe (like James Bond). The sociopath identifies with cruelty and feels no fear or sympathy or horror. In my version of Spinoza's question, does the presence of sympathy for others in oneself and revulsion to horror make someone a better person than the sociopath who feels nothing? Is an act immoral because it disgusts and revolts?

So this is no anarchist polemic. I am also concerned with these related problems: the politics of the mob, the psychology of animal aggression, criminality, gangsterism, domestic violence, and every kind of potential for cruelty in nature and society.

(coming soon ... "HORROR AND MENTAL ILLNESS" and "PROPER RESPONSES TO HORROR")

I was banned from Bartcop. They get very upset when you make fun of Hillary. Very upset.

@Destonio: Yes, Hillary draws in the retard vote, but Obama isn't so bad himself when it comes to scooping up the retard vote.

I know you're not supposed to say this, but Alan Keyes is a very articulate man. He is completely nuts. But he is very articulate.

@Aurelio: Obama is a fucking genius. Straight up. Listen to Oprah.

If anybody is still up this late ...

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Minn Heima Contest Winner

[video.google.com]
Cat Power - Metal Heart @ Kool Haus, Toronto

@DryFact:
Ever tried these?
eszopiclone (Lunesta®)
zaleplon (Sonata®)
zolpidem (Ambien®)

@Darehead: If I wanted to sleep, I would take Melatonin (available in the vitamin aisle).

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Good night, Good morning.

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And Good Moring!

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Dr. Octagon - Blue Flowers

Will someone please send DryFact some super-glue so that he can glue his keyboard keys together. Thanks. That is all.

@BluntObjects: So he's Morgan Freeman?

@Di's Muslim Kid: As an alternative, perhaps we could take up a collection to send him to a mini-course on "How to Have a Lasting Friendship with your Delete Key, Now and Forever."

@Dr. Spaceman: Will Smith,you ninny.

@Aurelio: and well-spoken.

Where the fuck am I? What's going on?

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: In the Library of the Constitution Party, with the Rope that Jim has given them to hang themselves, from a hook holding a portrait of Colonel Ambassador Alan Keyes!

From the Constitution Party Website: "Join the Constitution Party in its work to restore our government to its Constitutional limits and our law to its Biblical foundations." [www.constitutionparty.com]

"Biblical foundations"? Uh, would that be Sodom and Gomorrah?

Fun fact: Alan Keyes got 38 percent of the vote in his first Maryland Senate run in 1988. He hasn't gotten that much of a percentage of the vote since!

I dunno if that's true, but it seems likely enough that I don't feel like checking to see if he got 45 percent in the race for dog catcher last year or whatever.

Same ballot design Hillary used in Michigan.

Three 100%s? That's like Saddam Hussein results.

@poodledog: I know ... who would go to a caucus and vote just for nobody?!? Dennis Kucinich should have gotten more votes because ... you'd be voting for a human being! Chris Dodd was also an option.

christ, whatever happened to taking the weekend off?

@Eac_o_System: I thought Kucinich admitted to being extra-terrestrial.

@poodledog: Aside from Michigan had a useless primary, not a useless caucus, I guess that was my biggest mistake.
@Aurelio: It's that kind of rhetoric that keeps people from going the third party route. I can not wait for the two-party system to end ... but the Constitution Party would be change you can ONLY believe in.
@DryFact: They rejected you at the Huffingtonpost for your magnum opus?!? What jerks! I would have thought they would have thrown out somebody for saying that Arianna has a fake accent...

@Aurelio: Does Alan Keyes really want to restore the constitution and be only 3/5 of a person? He must have low self esteem.

@baxterthepug: If he were 3/5s of a person, that would make him 7/8s more of a person in my eyes.

I love ANY black republican. It shows a thickness of mind that is admirable.