Wonkette

Clinton would like to remind voters that as the First Lady when NAFTA was signed she deserves all of the credit...and none of the blame.

There's only one solution to this: Run on an Invade Canada platform.

SSSHHHH! You're not supposed to mention this until 48 hours before the PA vote, when it will be too late for Hillary's people to do anything about it.

WWRPD

What Would Ross Perot Do?

I heard from a little bird that Ralph Nader is secretly trying to get hockey banned because it is too dangerous.

Dibs on the weed in Vancouver!

Point is, Canada should keep its head up its own Canadian-bacon filled ass during our elections. Same with Israel. There are about 10 times as many people whose lives are on the line in countries like Iraq, Kosovo and Sudan. You haven't heard Dinner-Jacket, Bin Ladin or Raul Castro message-ing about this election, so who the fuck let some wood-chip factory lobbyists bring the NAFTA meta-issue into the dialogue?

@Speed Ball: He would look at the charts, I believe.

How could this be true? If it were true the jackals of the media, who love to hate on the Hilz, would have used it in an instant while handing BHO a pillow. Ian Bodie is clearly a man, a Canadian man, but still. This is patently obvious sexist ganging up on the future Gurl Prez.

Wait. You mean politicians aren't honest?

Considering that we only export $10 billion a month in products and services and import a mere $15 billion a month, I don't see why any candidate would feel the need to promise unemployed voters one thing while secretly reassuring our trading partners that they don't really mean to plunge the region into devastating economic depression as their rhetoric suggests.

*those figures are just for Mexico, BTW.

Let's not forget that Canada has fired the warning shots on numerous occasions, with the musical equivalent of one hundred H-bombs having been delivered with the rapping interlude in Rush's Roll the Bones (it's at 3:17 - 4:19, for you masochists):

+ Watch video

Plus the gender confusion (ugly old nerd dude or ugly middle-aged lady) caused by Geddy Lee.

Somehow, the irony of this situation is lost on the people of Guatemala, Chile, Argentina, Cuba, Brazil, Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador, Columbia, Iran, Egypt, Indonesia, India, the Philippines, South Korea, and Panama.

Well, are we really surprised that the Hillary camp is playing fast and loose with the truth?

Now she's using the ol' "My husband didn't win the nomination until June." which has been debunked. Why anyone still believes a word out of her mouth, I don't know.

@norbizness: Not only that, but the NAFTA agreement allowed Rush to infiltrate our national pasttime, Guitar Hero, with the song YYZ.

Neil Pert hides IEDs in his snares.

@2goatsforonecow: Please stop with these tired sexist defenses on non-existent attacks. I'm a woman, and plenty of us don't like Hillary and how she got where she got.

I was undecided at the beginning of this race, but watching Hillary and Bill in the course makes me ill. I don't want them representing me or my country ever again.

@2goatsforonecow: Please stop with these tired sexist defenses on non-existent attacks. I'm a woman, and plenty of us don't like Hillary and how she got where she got.

I was undecided at the beginning of this race, but watching Hillary and Bill in the course made me ill. I don't want them representing me or my country ever again.

I heard some moron interviewed on NPR last night about why he voted for her. Boiled down: he is 73; he "knows experience"; she has 35 years of real experience helping working folks; she will be great for the economy and bring jobs to Ohio like when SHE was in the White House; Obama lied when he "blamed her for NAFTA" because she cannot be held responsible for things she didn't do. With logic like this, Obama is doomed.

I am not sure how much more poor Barry can take: first the Globe blew the cover off that gay sex scandal that has been brewing for months, then his humiliating loss on Tuesday (still can't win a big state) and now the announcement of the DOJ investigation into his sweetheart land deal with Rezko to be announced tomorrow!!!

Do Canadians know what STFU stands for?

@Pupster: Hillary is a woman?!?! I didn't know that!

Ohio, the state second-worst pummeled by NAFTA, goes all in for Hillary and her tards.

You have to love it.

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: Learn to read, dumbshit, and while you're at it, grow a pair.

@norbizness:
Good to know that if anything ever happens to Eminen we'll still have Geddy Lee to "represent" for the pale faces.

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: OMG! Why didn't you say something about this sooner? I will of course change my support based on this rumor, it being on the infallible internet and all.

@Doglessliberal: i heard that too and wondered how she could not be responsible for all the things she is responsible for in her 35 years of being responsible.

Bam Bam is about to show HIS vagina... watch for whining and sniffling from his followers shortly followed by Bam Bam himself...

friggin' pussy...

@ladymacbeth: my brain hurts and all this makes me disspirited. I am truly afraid she will steal this with BS and truth-shading and press-spinning and McCain will win. But I keep trying for the Hope (TM). One thing that did help: fabulous article about Michelle O in the New Yorker this week. You would love to see her just slap Hillz upside the head good and hard.

@ladymacbeth: Presumably, her wrinkles absorb all negative responsibility. Good reason to avoid Botox. Of course, it's the interior woman I find boff-worthy. That and power makes me horny or somesuch.

@ladymacbeth: @Doglessliberal:
As Winston Churchill said: "The best argument against democracy is five minutes with the average voter."

Larry Craig too is sending strong backdoor signals to the Canadians that his marital arrangements would not preclude a visit from a well-muscled Mountie.

@TGY: In Canada, that's SDFUE. "Shut da fuck up, eh?"

@DaDerga: Like this guy?

The charges that Wonkette is a professional news organization will soon be validated if stories like this continue. Have you no shame? Ohio has spoken! Truth sux!

@Serolf Divad: I think you just found Ron Paul's ace in the hole come convention-time

@Dr.Woo: Yeah, the truth sux for you. Obama ahead in pledged delegates, number of states, popular vote, and thanks to the Texas primacaucus he will come out March 4 net even in delegates. And Wyoming and Mississippi is another suck it for you.

Hillary can't even get her facts right. She brayed how no President won without Ohio. Wrong!

But our ace in the hole? Superdelegates know that a Clinton in the WH guarantees that the Dems will lose Congress soon after. They'll act in self-preservation, not cuz they love Hillary, cuz they don't. (Ha ha, Pelosi hates her guts! So does Gore! Ha ha)

@WadISay: Just the term "Mountie" is enough to cause ol'Larry to go into a fit of loud, orgasmic, sphincter smacking!

@DaDerga: What, cosplayers? I thought that $20 million was going to bribing delegates.

@Pupster: Obamatard? Can I get a review Serolf or Norbizness?

@Pupster: If Barry can't even win a real state (other than his home state) in the Democractic primary then he would be totally obliterated in a general election against "Mac Daddy" McCain. Besides....in addition to the DOJ announcement of the federal investigation into Barry's ties to Rezko to be announced on Friday....I just heard threw the grapevine that 20/20 is interviewing that guy who had the gay sex affair with Barry on Friday night. Where's your false Messiah now boy?!?

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: "Real state" is why the rest of America hates assholes like you.

I'm less an Obamatard than a Clinton-hater. And keep shilling your little fantasy scandals. Because what you just named would be mere dust compared to the boulders swept under the Clinton rug. Please by all means, defend Billary; it's just mean you'll look like a bigger ass when the next Clinton scandal comes around. Which does, more regularly than my morning shits.

@Pupster: don't blame ME that your false Messiah overplayed his hand by running for president four years too early! No worries. He can go back to sitting on his bony ass chasing the dragon in his Senate office after this is all over.

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: Sweetheart, what you don't get is that you're 'envitable' candidate with 100% name recognition and supposedly the greatest political mind of our generation as a husband is getting her ass handed to her by a state senator with a funny name no one's heard of 6 months ago. What do you think that's about? Do you think people are longing for the glory days of the 90's when impeachment over a jizz stain was what filled our days?

Let's get real. No one wants them in power again, especially anybody of significance in the Democratic Party (except those she's promised some good gigs). If Hillary didn't have some angry ladies projecting their own hopes and dreams on her, she'd have nothing. That's with 100% name recognition.

now that this post has made me aware of the impending barry / larry / rush / eminimen / edward scissorhands gay canadian NAFTA sex scandal, i will go to TMZ for distraction.

that is all.

@Pupster: I love your chutzpah, but save it for real foes. There is no reasoning with a cave troll.

But yesterday, Stephen "Steve" Harper denied that his CoS Ian Brodie was responsible for the leak. Which means that Ian Brodie is the guy. "Steve" is basically Larry Craig without the sex appeal. He's declared that they're going to find out who leaked this info. [Where were Scooter Libby and Dick Armitage at the time?] Which means they won't.

"Steve" has categorically stated that the leak left inaccurate impressions about O-man; now, to balance things out, "Steve" has decided to leave similar impressions about Hillz. So, whichever Dem wins, Ottawa gets nuked. That'd be a real.... um... shame?

@NoWireHangers: Ummm....I see that once again because you are incapable of intelligent discourse you resort to name calling...and might I add that a picture of Joan Crawford is the most pathetically cliche avatar I have EVER seen....do you have a strobe light that goes off every time I post something? your responses are almost immediate...and not just on here....also on gay.com and towleroad.com and out.com...how do you do that?

The ellipses abuse SWAT team has been called and dispatched.

@Doglessliberal: I heard that to on my drive home, didnt he also say he would never vote for a girl and now he has to eat his words?

correct me if Im wrong here, but my understanding of this nafta debate is that they arent talking about ending free trade just re-negotiating to include labor and environmental standards, which to me seems like reassuring Canada that this wont effect them is fair as they have better environmental and labor standards then we do. This is really targeted at Mexico right?

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: what happens when you predictions through the grapevine turn out false will you apologize and admit your wrong, I doubt your federal investigation or 20/20 piece will materialize.

You're all missing the real issue here:

If NAFTA continues as it is, we will be forced to play hockey all of our lives. When we retire from playing hockey, we will have to watch it. I mean shit, let's get to the substance of the issue and stop dancing around it.

@OnYourEnemiesList: meet me at DuPont Circle after work big boy and if I am wrong I'll buy you drinks for rest of the night! That offer applies to everyone on this site! Free drinks for everyone if I am wrong! (I'll need Jim and Ken to show I.D.....they look under 21).

A Clinton doing something that would intentionally deceive the American people? That is UNFATHOMABLE! Next you are going to tell me that Bill really did have an affair with that woman.... STOP THE MADNESS!

I know... I know... she's not Bill... blah blah blah.... 35 years of experience

@OnYourEnemiesList: This poster is right on the money. Send me your home address, OYEL, and you'll receive a hamper of back bacon, Tim Hortons coffee, BC bud and some real beer. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. [Our postal employees are too stoned to deliver the mail. On the plus side, they're also too stoned to wield AK-47s.]

@Canuckledragger: You're not writing from Nigeria, are you?

@pantspantspants: No, why? Are their postal workers that stoned too?

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: Oh, Beast, don't think I didn't notice how you subtly avoided responding to my post about the weakness of your candidate, and have resorted to personal attacks against others. I don't blame you. Defending Bill and Hillary is a thankless, hopeless job.

Keep your wrists away from those razors!

@The Beast of Foggy Bottom: Ive heard its not safe to meet people in person from internet message boards.

@gjdodger: I have injured a sinus by a snort-laugh gone all wrong, alas.

@OnYourEnemiesList: Don't worry. I can promise you won't notice a thing after the first drink.

Where does Obama stand on the Nickelback Sucks Issue?
-Sucks Donkey
-Sucks Dead Rhino
-Sucks Mobidly Obese Moose Knuckle

Hillary already showed she was on the Maple Leaf Rag, with the whole Celine Dion debacle.

(I think I scored the triple entendre with the "Maple Leaf Rag" bit, but check my maths...maybe call in Turdblossom?)

@Doombilly:"Where does Obama stand on the Nickelback Sucks Issue?
-Sucks Donkey
-Sucks Dead Rhino
-Sucks Mobidly Obese Moose Knuckle"

All of the above. And then some.

I think as a tenet of trade agreements we need some old-school-protectionist-jingoist sanctions to protect shitty American bands from unfair Nickelback practices.

Linkin Park should totes start a PAC.

@Doombilly:"Nickelback practices?????"

Shit, they had me fooled.

@OnYourEnemiesList: the "I won't vote for girls" guy was yet another Ohio genius who voted for her. He voted for her because she was tough and had experience and will bring jobs ( I would love a repoerter to ask the obvous question: "how do you think she will bring jobs?"). Sigh.

Hillary is Dion Phaneuf!? I can see that, but Obama is Mario Lemieux, not Jared Boll.

If this happens:

Obama has more delegates coming in to the convention. Clinton convinces superdelegates to override the majority and award her the nomination.

Can anyone tell me why this won't happen:

90% of African-Americans wake up the next morning and ask themselves, "My forefathers were brought here as slaves. It wasn't until 1865 that they were freed. It wasn't until 1870 that our right to vote was consecrated in law. Then, for another hundred years we had to face attack dogs, and fear lynchings in order to actually cast a ballot. And now, finally, we have a brilliant young black man who has not only had the audacity to run for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States, but he won the most delegates...and a few hundred party officials have overturned that outcome and handed the nomination to a white person??!! And now they expect me to vote for her in the general election??!! HAVE THEY NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME??!! I WILL BURN DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE BEFORE I WILL VOTE TO PUT HER IN IT!!!

@balthus: Not to mention all of the people under 35 that have:

1. Plenty of free time.
2. Plenty of accessable money.
3. Cars.

Look at how he has been able to mobilize people that are typically apathetic. They donated money, time, and energy to this campaign. They're not going to sit back and let this happen without a fight.

I think it's awful that there's been so much outsourcing.