Strippers, Trannies, Whores & Other International Politicians

 

I am interested in this American ritual you call the lap dance Ha ha, have you ever heard anyone compare a Congressman or Senator to a sex worker? Because they will apparently do anything for money, you see! Oh, what a delightfully raunchy barb. But the Foreigns, as usual, do us one better. You see, in several Foreign countries, actual sex workers — including strippers and prostitutes — get themselves elected to political office! And, um, people who play strippers in movies, and speaking of movies, we have video, after the jump!

We begin our trip south of the border, down Mexico way. Dalia Perez is a former television show presenter and actress who was elected to the Veracruz state legislature in September. A while back she made a movie called “Xalapeno Chiles,” where she played an exotic dancer who has an affair with a powerful politician. The movie was apparently so bad that it was never released … until its star suddenly became a prominent politician, at which point the bootleg DVD hit the streets! Naturally, the key scenes are on YouTube.

Whoah! I’d like to push some tax legislation through her committee, if you know what I mean! Perez meanwhile has hit back at critics, saying that they “aren’t interested in promoting local film or helping Veracruz artists.” That’s right, Dalia! It’s all about helping local film, in which sexy ladies do pole dances.

...or that they spell words slightly differently -- some would say more correctlyNow let’s go to a land down under … no, not that one, the other one, New Zealand. In 1999, Georgina Beyer was elected to Parliament. Demonstrating what a bunch of crazy, mixed-up folks those Kiwis are, everyone made a big fuss about the fact that she was born a man, and was the first transgender person ever elected to a national parliament, and blah blah BLAH.

Did they even bother to celebrate the fact that she was also the first stripper elected to the New Zealand parliament? No! It just goes to show that exotic dancing is the dance form that Dare Not Speak Its Name! Beyer turns out to be pretty cool, though, noting upon becoming a member of parliament that “I was quoted once as saying that ‘This was the stallion that became a gelding, and now she’s a mayor [Pronounced "mare" in New Zealandese. --Eds].’ I suppose I do have to say that I have now found myself to be a Member! So I have come full circle, so to speak.”

Would you pay to 'hit it'?Speaking of gender bending, it turns out that there’s a politician in named Simba Makoni Zimbabwe who’s a prostitute and a dude! Wait, no, it turns out he’s just the metaphorical kind. But he did get smeared with the label on national TV — by President Mugabe, no less! Seems Makoni left Mugabe’s party to run against the grizzled old dictator for president in the elections this month. Making fun of the fact that Makoni had no political affiliation, he said, “So I have compared him to a prostitute … but you see, a prostitute could have done better than Makoni because she has clients.” Ha ha, ouch for you, Simba! He says nobody would pay for your sexual services! I bet that’s pretty rough.

Finally, we have the case of the Stripper-Gram city councilwoman, from the UK. Myrna Bushell has a job as a Stripper-Gram lady where she delivers messages and takes off her clothes. She also got elected to Bideford Town Council as a Liberal Democrat, which caused three of her fellow councilmen to quit the party because they’re prudes, the end. Except that the story generated the following video, which we find hypnotic and hilarious (once you get past the battery commercial).Did you notice that the story was about Myrna, but she doesn’t appear in it at all? Did you notice that the whole thing was some late-middle-age British guy sitting in front of a window describing the scenario? Did you notice is alarming series of eyebrow wiggles and facial ticks and ribald double-entendres? Did it chill you to your very core? Be glad you’re in America, far away from him!

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

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