Wonkette
If you're a Ron Paul supporter, there are many reasons not to like his congressional opponent, Chris Peden. He is young and handsome and well-regarded by the people in his district, for example. But there is one other reason not to like Chris Peden: he doesn't have nearly the vast obstetrical experience as Texas Congressional District 14's incumbent!
You will recall that Peden told Wonkette, "If delivering a baby is a prerequisite [for Congress], then I still meet it" because he delivered one of his four children. Well, this Ron Paul supporter will have you know that delivering only one baby is not going to cut the mustard when it comes to true political leadership:
Pedens example of experience in delivering babies (his one to RP's 4000+) is like comparing Elephants to ants....there's just no comparison. I'm glad Peden was able to deliver his child safely (I wish no child any harm-and that includes Iraqi children), but come on, they (the readers of the wonkette) must be really stupid or gullible to believe its the same as delivering 4K.
We are just wondering if we are stupid or gullible for thinking this poster is a real person.
Support RP RE-election! 'Tardette endorses Peden [Daily Paul]
Meet Ron Paul's Congressional Opponent! [Wonkette]
Comments
I vote for stugullible.
Good thing there was a clarification that Iraqi children are included in this no harm wish. I typically exclude them from children in general, unless they're otherwise specified.
I think we should constitutionally amend our currently unconstitutional constitution to make Baby Delivery a prerequisite for Congresspeople.
What could happen if Stephanie Tubbs Jones gets knocked up and goes into Labor while giving a speech while proclaiming her love for Clinton and hatred of all things Kenyan and RON PAUL isn't around because he's in the unconstitutional White House?
America is doomed...that's what.
OMG do you think Barack Obama can deliver a baby? Or is he too busy killing them with his Muslim abortionist witchcraft? Dammit, why isn't the media asking the important questions!?! Thank God for the Ron Paulettes.
Because delivering children is the best sign of being a politician.
Keep fighting the rearguard action, Paultard youth. Our tank armies are very close to the capital of Paultopia. All your blimps, spambots and Gold soon belong to us.
@ManchuCandidate:
Spambots are on a delay...as the interwebz will be shut down forever on Friday.
This paultard is right on.
Does Chris Peden really know whether or not every vagina looks different? RonPaul has seen half of south Texas' birth canals and can say with certainty that every one of them is unique.
It's like comparing and ant dick to an alephant dick.
Ants do have dicks, right? Anyone?
There's no need to fight. You're stupid and gullible for plenty of reasons.
The Ron Paul supporters should be endorsing Chris Peden, too. They want Paul to be president; the only possible way he'll run is if he loses his seat in Congress and runs as a Libertarian.
Why have Ron Paul's online supporters suddenly started hurting his campaign??? Well, okay, I guess they were already doing that.
That graphic is Certified Nightmare Fuel. Stop it, SKS.
I was almost sold on voting for Ron Paul until he said "all children." What about the illegal Mexican NAFTA babies who are taking jobs from hardworking, gold standar-loving American babies?
What I want to know is where, exactly, did RP deliver those 4000+ babies to?
I wish no child any harm-and that includes Iraqi children.
How charitable. Now please die.
To change the subject, the angry Tard in Chief on the teevee right now talking about his "intelligence gap." Must watch teevee. Boy, he's surly today. It's inhibiting his usual eloquence.
I'd just like to mention that no where in the constitution are "Iraqi children" mentioned.
I liked one of their comments:
"Relax, it's just wonkette: The collective IQ of their posters is the square root of my shoe size."
Watch out for big feet! We're all getting stomped on!
I love the Daily Paul. It' HIIII-larious. Where else would I get to read bizarro bible quotes from libertarian whack jobs who love Dr. Paul and Murray "I teach the 13th Grade" Sabrin.
His speech writers are polishing off some old, fear mongering rhetorical chestnuts with the "intelligence gap." Hmmm, bomber gap, missile gap, intelligence gap. Actually, intelligence gap is fear inducing, but not in the way Bush's hack speech writers intended.
This Paultard is correct. Delivering one baby pales in comparison to 4000. But I believe Peden was making a joke about the very relevance of Ron Paul's midwifery. That aside, the Paultard legions will not be ignored after L. Ron Paul's inevitable defeat. Kind of like Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction", they will attempt to boil America's metaphorical bunny in revenge for being cast aside. Watch your back America!
However, Peden is a CPA who completed thousands of income tax forms and has been a significant player in the evil conspiracy to rob citizens of their hard earned wages.
@squiggyfm: For that matter, the word "obstetrician" doesn't appear in the Constitution either. Why do you want to destroy our Constitution, Paultards?
Ah ha!
Checkmate RON PAUL!
@z3k3: I hope this is snark...my snarkometer is getting an inconclusive reading...
Cheney requires no less than 40 pounds of fresh, off the bone baby meat each week. Delivering a constant supply of babies is vital to keeping the Republican apparatus running.
But you promised Alex Jones would be my secretary of state!!!
@mookworthjwilson: yeh, dude. it was a snark. wtf, do i have to put a :P or ;) behind it?
But Peden can WORM COWS! (wow, even thinking about Paultards forces one to use ALLCAPS).
Maybe I didn't read that too closely. Is Ron Paul delivering baby elephants now? Why? Did they forget how to do it?
But wait just a minute.....
THIS IS SOOO OBVIOUSLY A HOAX!!!!!!! ONLY THOSE FOOLS AT WONKETTE WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO FORGE A PAULMISSIVE PARTLY IN LOWER CASE!!!!!! WONKETTE IS FAUX PAULTARDING!!!
ron paul supporters know more about delivering pizza than delivering babies.
Is getting placenta all over the flag considered desecration?
Peden is also a lying sack of shit who promised Dr. Paul he wouldn't run against him.
(Nice to see the new girl pimping the pro-genocide candidate...)
@PROUD PAULTARD: He promised Dr. Paul the ob/gyn...he didn't promise anything to L. Ron Paul the politician...lying to ob/gyns bad, lying to politicians expected.
If they could inform me prenatally that my kid had a high probability of being a Paultard, I'd perform my first abortion.
They like lying packs of shit. It makes them feel cozy and at home. That's why they love Peden so much - he's like them.
Paul's uprightness and honesty makes them unconfortable. They're annoyed that anyone actually gives a shit about this country to begin with, and even annoyed that some old Congressman has a plan to fix things.
Add in the fact that hundreds of thousands of people are vocally agreeing with hims, and that makes these Tardettes downright...well...bitchy.
Why can't we all get along and be good Socialists?
@tomdesabla: No, his creepy band of dweeb followers make me uncomfortable.
@scotterl:
1. Moron said something about the way the border looked when he "grew up in TX"? Did they move MA when I wasn't looking?
2. He said he wouldn't meet with world leaders who imprison people because they don't agree with what those leaders might think--Guantanamo much?
Needed to vent, feel better now.
Well, that's very big of this Paultard, not wishing harm on Iraqi children, after all the havoc Iraqi children have wreaked on Freedom. You know, with their hateful agenda of being kids and trying not to die.
@NBAWRITER1: I feel the same way about Republicans in general
@tomdesabla:
Well, those "hundreds of thousands of people that agree with him" should...ya know..."vote for him".
@tomdesabla: Oh, fuck off. Paul has all the authenticity of a Liza Minnelli marriage. He can't get bills passed because he's too busy calling anyone who disagrees with him a 'neocon', and giving Lew Rockwell oil massages. I hope Paul chokes to death on his own swollen uvula. Cheers....
@User-Of-Owls: the secret kill floor in dick cheney's basement, where their blood is captured for him to drink for breakfast every morning.
@tomdesabla: vocally agreeing, maybe (though only to a very limited extent).
but certainly not electorally agreeing.
you losers couldn't break double digits in a 1-man race ... get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of 20s ... make a shit sandwich if you had the recipe ... get elected chief elf of WoW ...
you get the idea.
now get your ass back to work at best buy and fix my little sister's computer before i come over there and +10 magic spell on your dateless pimply face.
@PROUD PAULTARD: Really? Did he cross his heart and hope to die, too?
The real question: how many racist publications did Peden lend his name to? Hope it's less than one.
@Dr. Spaceman. Is that the real question?
@blueinOH: Glad to help. In respect to to Cuba, did Bush say the only thing the Castro brothers did was, "ruin our island"??? Who is he, Meyer Lansky? He buttressed that by saying Cubans should be able to receive money from "people back here in the homeland." Yeah, those Cubans are paranoid about the plans of the Yankee imperialist dogs...
Also, I liked how he said how he would not speak to either Catro brother because he would not want to give the imprimatur of the presidency on a regime that does not respect human rights. He then went on to proclaim his enthusiasm attending the Beijing Olympics and how he would sit down with the leaders there and demand that Christians be allowed to worship in China.
@scotterl: Dubya IS an intelligence gap.
@PROUD PAULTARD: HAAHAAHA! Pro-genocide! "If you're not for us, you're against us" is that it? Et tu, PROUD P? You haven't been here long enough to realize we snark on every politician? Feh.
If looking into vaginas all day makes someone qualified to for elected office, where the hell are the rest of the cheeto-stained, porn-trawling Paultards in office around the country?
@tomdesabla: Yeah, RP is an honest racist.
And just WTF is a libertarian Christian? Sounds a little like someone who oughta be goose-stepping to me.
@metropolitan: Nah....they know about delivering pizzas from ordering them at home. Ordering babies would be creepily like Cheney.
I'd be pretty impressed if he delivered all 4,000 babies at once - either racing around some Moonie-style stadium event or even helping just one mutant-insect woman emptying her egg sack.
@lumpenprole: ... and they could play that frenetic music that used to play when Johnny Carson had that guy spinning plates on broom handles on The Tonight Show.
@Gopherit: Damn. What I should have said was Paultards know about pizza delivery, like they know about sex. Generally, it requires a computer or phone and a credit card, and it comes to their door in 30 min or less.
@scotterl: but see, Nixon talked to the Chinese and he was such a great leader and role model to emulate. Plus, the Chinese buy lots of stuff from us. And NBC is going to make a crapload of money off the Olympics. Plus, there are lots of Chinese so they can spare a few if some die in prison or get run over by tanks. And free speech and limits on government control are not really so great anyway. So it's OK.
@Gopherit: Libertarian Christians must be like those grads of Regent U Law School who practice law using "God's law, not man's". There are growing flocks of them. I kid you not. Courts and state Bars not so fond of them.
@Dr. Spaceman: One so far, counting Wonkette.
@Gopherit: Peden has a pro-genocide platform. Look it up.
@Gopherit: Only a neocon like Vitter is dumb enough to pay a hooker with a credit card. All cash, baybee.
@PROUD PAULTARD: Yeah, I'm sure Peden "lent" his name to Wonkette. I'll look forward to seeing that endorsement listed on his web page.
Funny, when i type Peden and genocide into google, I only get a you tube video of Ron Paul talking like a paultard about why he won't debate Peden:
+ Watch video
I gotta admire your political acumen, though. Pizzas with plastic and hookers with cash. Just don't let your mom answer the front door if you don't know which is going to show up first, 'K?
We must have been mistaken about his pro-music platform: this ain't rock n' roll, this is genocide!
+ Watch video
I'm sure the delivery of each and every one of those 4000 little Paultardlings was paid for out of pocket, as I'm confident that Libertarian Messiah Doctor Congressman Ron Paul would never accept Soviet-style Medicaid.
@NBAWRITER1:
Oh yeah, that works. I pictured it Benny Hill style.
@Doglessliberal: And @Gopherit:
There is a substantial subset of Libertarians that are hardcore right wing Christians. They believe in no government interference *except* to enforce biblical law. So basically they're the Taliban.
"'Tardette!" Ha!
Using someone else's insult back at them is the rhetorical equivalent to saying "I know you are but what am I."
"Angry Paultard" Like there's any other kind.
@squiggyfm: "I think we should constitutionally amend our currently unconstitutional constitution to make Baby Delivery a prerequisite for Congresspeople."
Actually, it's already in there. It just takes an extreme reading of the interstate commerce clause.
@tomdesabla: "uprightness and honesty," "hundreds of thousands of people" ...
If this is Paultard parody, I salute you, sir.
If it's sincere, even better.
Draft William Smellie for president! He's the most famous obstetrician of ever. Dead, you say? That didn't stop Dick Cheney from becoming VP (boi-oi-oi-oing!). Not born on U.S. soil, you say? That isn't stopping Walnuts!. We need a president who really knows lots about birthin' dem babies. Vote William Smellie on November 4.
@PROUD PAULTARD: I am making it my life's mission to punch every single one of you keyboard warriors in the face for tone you gave Ron Paul's campaign. I've know Ron since I was a baby, and it's douchebages like you who got him labeled wacko. Well that and Lew's newsletters, his powwows with Alex and least we forget his Austrian economics. But still, fucktards like you do not speak for Ron, you do no speak for Brazoria and you should politely shut the fuck up.
Oh, the punching of Paultards, so many parent's basements, so little time.
@Otto-Reimer: You can stay. :)
@revmatty: Sounds reasonable. Things can get out of hand at a sodomite or adulteress stoning, so you need to be able to call out the National Guard to retore order.
restore.
You're accurate ... this Paultard can't be a real person ... I'm thinking along the lines of 'primordial electrolytes' perhaps around the time of the asteroid bombardment era. How they made it all the way up to now is a mystery.
@Gopherit: Eh, I have been here awhile, mostly at Gawker and IO9, I just knew better than to get mixed up with Paultards here. The only thing I can say is this is not what we meant for Ron, not what we meant at all.
I was in Mexico for the Deaniac fiasco of '04, otherwise the metamasters of Brazoria would have accounted for Paultards in our massive spamming of the intertubez.
Live and learn.