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Gennifer Flowers wishes to contribute to American political history in more than just orgasms. This is why she will auction recordings of orgasms she had over the phone with Bill Clinton in 1992. According to her publicist — because Gennifer Flowers has a publicist — the phone chats have “already received a great deal of interest in this project from collectors from all over the world.” Among the interested bidders are every Republican political consultant on earth and every Clinton loyalist in… well, wherever they hide.

Flowers’ mysterious publicist had more to say about the tapes’ historical importance, which we estimate to be somewhere between the Petticoat Affair and the Defenestration of Prague.

“Up until recently, Flowers would not consider parting with the tapes but has decided to put them in capable hands while she is still alive,” according to a statement by publicist Bruce Merrin. “The Clinton/Flowers tapes are a national treasure in American history featuring a sitting U.S. president having an intimate conversation with his mistress.”

After further thought, we’d say it’s slightly closer to the Defenestration of Prague than it is the Petticoat Affair.

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