Ralph Nader Saves America From Corporates

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Very old consumer advocate Ralph Nader launched a third-party bid for the presidency again today, bringing a swift end to corporate welfare queens across America. Wear yr seatbelts!

Nader, a 73-year-old hero, caved in order to stop Iraq wars and fix the economy. He “blamed tax and other corporate-friendly policies under the Bush administration that he said have left many lower- and middle-class people in debt.”

As for the bloated military budget, “he blamed that on corporate lobbyists and special interests, which he said dominate Washington, D.C.”

These opinions stand in stark contrast to those of likely Democratic nominee Barry Obama, who proposes the elimination of all taxes on the upper class, weekend indentured servitude duties for lower and middle classes, several new Wars in Iraq, and the overt transfer of legislative and judicial power to Jack Abramoff.

Nader Announces New Bid for White House [AP]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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