If We Put Our Hands Together, Will God Make Huckabee President?

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Here’s an underreported story about the Republican primary race: Why has God been such a lazy campaigner for his candidate, Mike Huckabee? Sure, God is busy making humans, and the weather, and American foreign policy. But God made a commitment to Mike Huckabee when He endorsed him, and He has been almost as lazy a campaigner as Fred Thompson ever since. Because of this, Huckabee’s supporters are making a last-ditch effort to drag God out onto the campaign trail this Sunday via mass worship. The Pray for Huckabee effort does not mince words: “Join us February 24, 2008 as we pray for God to make a way for Mike Huckabee to become president.”

This canny political move puts the pressure on God, who is up for re-election himself in heaven, against Ronald Reagan, in 2010:

We believe Mike Huckabee is the best option to become president and we’re asking God to make that happen. We’re at a vital part in America’s history and we believe Mike Huckabee is the right man to face the challenges our nation currently faces. We know any time God is brought into the equation, big questions get asked.

Well, that last sentence sure sounds nice. But what does it mean? Fortunately, we have an FAQ’s section where these “big questions” do, in fact, get asked:

Q. Aren’t you shoving your beliefs down our throats?
A. Unless someone has a gun to your head and is forcing you to this site, of course not. And if they have a gun to your head, duck! You’re free to pray or not to pray for Huckabee. You’re free to go post on a blog or message board about how dumb this all seems to you. This is America, you can do that. And we can decide to pray for the guy we like.

Uh… damnit, they beat us to the punch… this all seems very dumb to us?

[Pray for Huckabee]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • Faces of The Nation

    I don’t know if he can make it or not. It is weird I heard there is a new people finder site called Faces of The Nation that uses civil records to find people. I wonder if Mike Huckabee could be found using Faces of The Nation. I am sure that they could at least find some interesting info about him. Check out http://thepolishbear.bloggerunleashed.com/generalnews/faces-of-the-nation-the-new-civil-records-website/

  • Polishbear

    I am excited for the general election. I liked Huckabee a lot, and I think that he is a great guy, but McCain will still do well. Huckabee would be a good president.