Morons To Save America By Taking Mass Sick Day

DO YOU HATE THE GOVERNMENT AND ITS LIES AND THE HORRIBLE CORRUPT CORPORATES WITH THEIR LIES TOO AND THEN DO YOU HATE HOW NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANYTHING AND THE IRAQ AND THE EARMARKS AND ALSO THE LIES? YOU SHOULD CALL IN SICK TO WORK ON MARCH 19 THEN BECAUSE THAT WILL STOP THE LIES AND IRAQ AND CORRUPTION. THIS WILL SHOW THAT HIPPOCRITT HOMO JOHN EDWARDS WHOS BOSS.

That’s more or less the battle plan for Sick of It Day, a Paultard-endorsed plan scheduled for March 19, the fifth anniversary of the war in Iraq. In an attempt to air their many grievances with the military-industrial complex, various internet trolls will use the “classic civil resistance tactic of ‘withdrawing consent’ from the system.” Said consent will be withdrawn when they all call in sick for work. Imagine the implications of this action: credit card companies will fail and credit cards themselves will all blow up, the Federal Reserve and Iraq will flee to fugitive farms in the northern hills of Israel, Ron Paul will become president of Pangaea retroactively, and so forth.

But what are the many enlistees of Sick of It Day so sick of, specifically? Here are some very specific reasons why they will be calling sick into their jobs at Best Buy electronics repair on March 19:

* TROY R. PARR, JACKSON, MO, WHY I AM SICK OF IT: LIES! PROPAGANDA! POLICE STATE! ENDLESS WAR! RESTRICTION ON GOD GIVEN RIGHTS TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY! CONSTITUTION BEING FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET. OUR CHILDREN BEING TURNED INTO KILLING MACHINES AND DYING FOR LIES AND PROFITS FOR THE WAR PROFITTEERS. CPS GRABBING CHILDREN! GOD SAVE AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Sondra, Kingston, NY, WHY I AM SICK OF IT: I am sick to death of the lies, I am sick of “them” actually thinking that we actually believe them!!!!!! I am sick of the embarrasment of our “elected” officials.
* Kevin Hicks Columbus, OH, WHY I AM SICK OF IT: Every word out of the governments mouth seems to be a lie. The government is no longer for the people but they are our slave owners and they pretend that we have no choice !!!!
* Ray Burlew, Almira, Washington: I feel more threatened by my own government than any other entity on earth. Now we know why they want our guns.
* DorLo Bob, Ashland, Ohio: Because there is no “other life” in which we can look forward to peace… We must demand peace here and now.

We are also “sick of it” because that allows us to use the “sick” pun and call in “sick” to work so we can advance to the next world, or whatever, in World of Warcraft.

[Sick of It Day]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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