No woman can escape his animal appealThis forbidden-lobbyist-love scandal is a stroke of good fortune for John McCain. Revelations that he may have landed a sizzling hot blonde half his age have brought a new aura of virility and sex appeal to the Spanish-American war hero’s ancient carcass. He is also being hailed by Christian conservatives for having the good taste to conduct a heterosexual extramarital affair. And now we learn the scandal has brought conservative talk radio’s most lovable personalities flocking to his bosom. According to Politico, “they have a common enemy” now. Meaning, of course, the terrorists. At the New York Times.

“This is what you get when you walk across the aisle and try to make these people your friends. I’m not surprised in the least that the NYT would try to take out John McCain,” Limbaugh wrote in an email.

And Laura Ingraham, who just recently was bitching at CPAC about what a hedonist immigrant-loving jackass John McCain was, now finds him just another tragic victim of the LSD freaks at the Times:

“You wait until it’s pretty much beyond a doubt that he’s going to be the Republican nominee, and then you let it drop — drop some acid in the pool, contaminate the whole pool.”

This is why you can never invite a Democrat to a party: when they aren’t busy shitting in the pool, they’re dropping acid in it. WE HOPE MR. MCCAIN HAS LEARNED HIS LESSON.

Rush, right rally to McCain [Politico]

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  1. Election Night Thriller
    (Thriller, Michael Jackson)

    It’s close To Midnight and There’s Vile Republican’s Lurking in The Dark.
    Under The Moonlight, You See A GOP Ticket That Almost Stops Your Heart.
    You Try To Scream, But Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It.
    You Start To Freeze, As Old Count McCain Looks You Right Between The Eyes,
    You’re Paralyzed

    You Hear The Voting Booth Slam, And Realize There’s Nowhere Left To Run.
    You Feel The Cold Hold, And Wonder If You’ll Ever See The Sun
    You Close Your Eyes, And Hope That This Is Just Imagination,
    But All The While, You Hear GOP Creatures Creepin’ Up Behind
    You’re Out Of Time

    They’re Out to Get You, There’s Robot Callers Closing In On Every Side.
    They Will Possess You, Unless You Change The Number On Your Dial.
    Now Is the Time for You and I to Cuddle Close Together.
    All Thru The Night, I’ll Save You From NeoCon Terror On The Screen,
    I’ll Make You See

    (Narrated by Vincent Price)
    Darkness Falls Across The Land, The Voting Hour Is Close At Hand.
    Grisley RNC Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Your Neighborhood
    And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Voting them Down
    Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell, And Rot Inside an Economic shell.

    The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of McCain’s Negative Campaign Drivel
    And Redneck Ghouls From Every Trailer Park Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom
    And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver
    For No Intelligent Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of the Election Day Thriller

    ‘Cause this Is Thriller, McCain Campaign Killer Night
    You Gotta Vote or No-ones Gonna Save You from the Beast about Strike.
    You Know its Thriller, McCain Campaign Killer Night
    You’re fighting for Your American Life inside an Election Night Thriller.

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