Wonkette

yeaah, new hampshire. keepin' it classy.

$10 this guy has a bear carcass somewhere on his property.

"No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States."

I can't find the part where it talks about genitalia.

Take that, Polly Bergen!

I take it this guy comes from a long line of eunuchs.
Or Hills pissed him off about something or the other.

@Cameron Fredman: You silly. Women are persons. Women are OTHER THINGS.

@bowleserised: I mean "Women aren't persons"

Oh shit! The jig is up! Run, female politicians! Flee back to the kitchens and vagineries from which you came!

@Whattheheck: You mean Dick? Dick Marple?

Who would win in a fight, this dude or Hills? Condi? Susan Collins? Yeah, they're not going anywhere, man. Time to take up another cause.

@Cameron Fredman: You need to read _between_ the lines.

I was quoting, incidentally, from Article 2, section 1, which in my view lists the requirements for being president (and does not include being male). The approach of the article, pointing to the 19th amendment and saying "Look what it doesn't do!" is misleading.

The 19th amendment doesn't do anything but give women the right to vote. That's true. But show me the law, amendment or other place in the constitution that says women *can't* be President. I mean, technically - since the language describing the qualifications to be eligible for the office of President are gender neutral - a woman could legally have been elected President before the 19th Amendment was passed. Not that the male electorate would have voted for a woman, but there's no federal law that would have stopped it.

@Cameron Fredman: Ah ha, didn't-do-your-homework-not-really-serious-about-Constitutional-law-lazy-pretend-C+ student-like-me-poser!! Ha! "Person" is clearly defined in the definitions section of the appendix to the redacted, original draft of the third version of the proto-Constitution, which says that "person" equals "George Washington and his friends, plus a few other rich white guys (especially if they went to Yale or killed lotsa English soldiers), and no Negros or women, ever, EVER!!" So now you know.

While we're on the subject of constitutionally viable candidates - McCain was not born in America.

@distractedbyshinyobjects: Victoria Woodhull ran for president before women could vote: [www.associatedcontent.com]

@greatgooglymoogly: "person" equals "George Washington and his friends, plus a few other rich white guys (especially if they went to Yale or killed lotsa English soldiers), and no Negros or women, ever, EVER!!" No, silly, that's not what 'person' meant... but it is what 'citizen' meant!

@Cameron Fredman: Exactly. The 19th amendment does not give women the right to run for president because it's not an amendment about presidential qualifications. Article 2 clearly lays out the requirements for the presidency, and although the impersonal "he" is used, there is no specific prohibition against women running.

Recall Jeanette Rankin! Uppity biznitch didn't even wait for the right to vote before she went to Congress in 1917.

@distractedbyshinyobjects:

Constitution outranks federal laws. I agree with your point though.

I read a batshit article a few weeks ago implying that since Hillary invoked spousal privilege during Whitewater, and since legally spousal privilege comes out of the belief that you and your husband are one person, Hillary can't be elected President because she was already President WHEN BILL WAS.

Well, the constituted does say: "Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States: If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it."

So, there's the HE part. But it says similar He parts about being a member of the House (member! ha!) or Senate, so, uh, maybe this brilliant genius should have said something earlier.

Also: "The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected"

More He-parts.

Good ol' Dickie Marple has created an argument that only Antonin Scalia could love. If the 19th amendment was necessary to ensure that women had the right to vote, then clearly the Constitution must withhold other rights from women. For this, Dickie turns to Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution for the intent of the Framers. That section starts, "The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office ..." QED, women cannot be President.

Dick Marple:

As a consequence of your ill-considered letter, we are all coming to your house to take turns beating the stupid out of you.

We're thinking Monday afternoon--you going to be around then?

More he parts:

"The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.""

@Yaneh: As anyone over 40 learned in school, "he" is the pronoun used when the sex of the person referred to is unknown or ambiguous.

SRSLY

The Concord Monitor sounds like the perfect place to launch my crusade to inform the public of the illegality of harnessing the power of electricity.

@distractedbyshinyobjects: ...show me the law, amendment or other place in the constitution that says women *can't* be President.

Au contraire, mon frère (or poss. ma soeur)-- you must show me where in the constitution it says a woman can be president. Obviously the unstated assumptions of the founding fathers ("fathers", you will note, not "parents") must be taken into account. Obviously, similar reasoning would also exclude Obama. Walnuts is, by default, the only viable candidate.

I volunteer to help Hillz put on the Burqa.

Also, something else to consider: "No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President;"

Huh. Cuz McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone.

Think about it.

@Lazy Media: It's true. Technically, "he" is both a male and a gender neutral pronoun, though not a lot of people know it.

@Lazy Media: I'm being facecious, and Walnuts was born in some backwards Panama Canal Zone, which I would wager the founding fathers would not have originally intended to be considered part of the US for the purposes of "natural born Citizen."

Everyone's disqualified!

Oh, that would be so funny.

Sorry, that was meant for

@nhunter: ...and Walnuts was born in some backwards Panama Canal Zone, which I would wager the founding fathers would not have originally intended to be considered part of the US for the purposes of "natural born Citizen."

Everyone's disqualified!

Oh, that would be so funny.

@braak: Having lived a good portion of my live in Vermont previously, I can honestly say: Who gives a crap what some yahoo from NH thinks?

Well, Barry was born in Kenya, or Indonesia or Hawai'i, wasn't he? It's not like those are in the U.S. And Huckabee was born in the Confederate States of America, so he's out, too.

Go Ron PAul!!11111!

All this fightin' and fussin'. Have I stumbled into Jezebel again?

@sluggo:
This was linked to on Jezebel, so I would wager that some commentors meandered over here fueled mainly by an outrageous lack of humor.

@braak: That's because the liberal media have been keeping the Truth from us with their "gender neutral" agenda. Never forget!

T. Herman Zweibel would have been proud.

Then I guess with this logic, Obama can't be president either. (By the way, I am a Clinton supporter.)The Fifteenth Amendment provides: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abriged ...on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude."

Guess the presidency really is restricted to white males? I guess I will have to vote for Huckabee (because I am not too certain that McCain doesn't run afoul of the "previous condition of servitude" given that he was a POW.

@nhunter: If anything, this example shows the complete intellectual bankruptcy of Scalia's theories of constitutional interpretation, which is originalism and textualism. I wonder what he would answer to this question of whether a woman or a black man can run for president, considering the text and the original intent of Article II (the one that talks about the president)?

Yes folks, this is what I frequently witnessed when dealing with many of the locals during my stint in New Hampshire. Well that, and crazy tax evader people. Don't get me wrong, New Hampshire's lovely and all, but there's definitely something a little whacky in the water. Especially the water in Hooksett.

@Trioxinaddict: Hee. Vagineries... I love it. Its like a winery for vaginas.

@NefariousNewt: Not me, that's for sure.

Still, I'd enjoy kicking that guy in his face.

Barbara Stanwyck would be SUCH a cool President, as sure as ten dimes will buy a dollar.

Note to Jezebelers: the essence of improv comedy is to respond in a "Yes, and also..." manner, extending the absurdity into new dimensions.

"No, and here's why," responses should be reserved for Serious Threads on Serious Subjects, such as the wisdom of teenage breast implants in underprivileged Darfur youth. Thank you.

@nhunter: You mean if a right isn't explicitly guaranteed in the constitution it may be denied me? Seems the only thing I'm allowed to do then is vote. I mean - are women even mentioned in any other part of the constitution at all? So much for that life, liberty and pursuit of happiness I was so enjoying - I guess only men are allowed to have that.

@rachystyle: Some of us have to escape Jezebel sometimes... and the humor is so good here.

@rachystyle: oh didn't you know? after 9/11 we reverted back to Roman law, which predates the Constitution and is therefore defacto included in the Constitution, kind of like how all the Jewish law is also Christian, except the parts Jesus didn't like. And we all know Jesus didn't like the ladies (wink wink, nudge nudge) ergo, President Clinton II must be destroyed.

somebody smart should hurry up and buy www.vickiiseman08.com

Not that we're taking this seriously, but even if we were, here's another argument. Say all the "he" pronouns can't be read as gender neutral and say further that they are read as a limitation on the presidency, even though the constitution never explicitly says so. Even if we go that far, then all we can say is maybe for a time (antebellum) a woman legally couldn't be president. But then comes the civil war, and the fourteenth amendment, section five of which grants congress the authority to enact laws to enforce "equal protection," and then congress goes and enacts the civil rights act, and voila! Hillary can be president (assuming someone votes for her).

@Lazy Media: Yes. And also, the liberal media and its gender neutral agenda is trying to cover up the fact that the US Constitution specifically demands breast-implants for transplanted Darfur youth.

This guy from New Hampshire told me, so I'm assuming it's well-considered and rigorously thought out.

@cate3710: Victoria Woodhull was totally awesome up until the time she married a rich Englishman and became a fundie. Shame she spent her later years explaining that the whole free love thing was actually evil and that eugenics was the way forward. Is that why ladies can't be president?

@Cameron Fredman: I thought the 14th/15th Amendment only protected the colored folk, not the ladies. Ditto the Civil Rights Act. Otherwise, what was with all the bra-burning over the ERA?

Note to younger folk: Once upon a time, ERA stood for Equal Rights Amendment, not some rip-off real estate company.

@superfectablog: Well, that, and menstruation.

...ok, but does this apply to Anne Coulter?

I heard that if you say Dick Marple's name in front of the mirror three times, he will appear and beat you over the head with the Constitution. And then after he beats you, he calls you "sugar tits" and tells you to go get him some coffee.

Today's feminists ... are convinced that since women have run for the office, the male-gendered presidential office has been neutered .

Not so. They will be challenged, and a Supreme Court ruling on the language will be necessary. At the very least a constitutional amendment to change the language will be required.

(Dick Marple lives in 14th century Persia.)

Legally speaking, the "he" parts everywhere else mean little anymore. Art. II, Section 1 (see @ cameron fredman) are the only specified qualifications for the office of President. It must be a slow news day up in NH.

@Lazy Media: They might have been thinking about race primarily with the 13th and 14th, but they used broader language that's been handy for all kinds of civil rights sense. It terms of the Civil Rights Act, we've actually had lots of them over the years, but certainly the 1964 variety was explicit about including women. (Apparently, women were added to it as an attempt to defeat the bill.)

Dick Marple is an anagram for Palm Dicker. I'm just sayin'...

@J.D.Regent: I don't know that the Romans were terribly keen on Jesus, what with them killin' him and all (no matter what Mel Gibson thinks).
Reasonable people can compromise -- how 'bout the Napolenic Code? If it's good enough for Jean Valjean, it's good enough for me.

@rachystyle: Hi! Good morning! So pleasant to read your comments, as they are so witty and spark intelligent conversation. But, really, if you hate us, take your coffee and go home.

What about all the "trans" folks - transgenders, transsexuals, transvestites, transylvanians, transistors, transmissionaries, and the like? We need to straighten it out.

@Devildontknow: There's nothing in the Constitution that allows Italians to be on the Supreme Court

@distractedbyshinyobjects: "are women even mentioned in any other part of the constitution at all?"
Yes, they're metioned in the fashion section.

@SayItWithWookies: don't conflate my analogies! but i would settle for the napoleanic code. that makes hillary...Josephine?

All this yappin' 'bout gender makin' me horny.

@Yaneh: But McCain was a citizen "at the time the adoption of this Constitution."

@rachystyle: Hi! Thanks for thinking of us! Generally, rach, I ignore you, because I find your arguments so poorly-supported as to be irrelevant. But just for the record- you're a twit! And I will enjoy carefully reading and responding to your witty, elucidating comments from now on.

xoxo

It's what we in the legal profession call a "moot point" because she's "getting beaten like a red-headed stepchild" and the author of the novel legal theory is "a fucking batshit insane syrup-snorter."

Obama 3/5's, Ted Kennedy 2/5's '08

people should make "not my constitution" t-shirts cause like i totally didn't vote on it's ratification.

Plus, if a woman were president, who would do the dishes and the laundry?

@J.D.Regent: I'm going to torture some more metaphors here -- Napoleon had to divorce Josephine and marry some woman he didn't like, for one political reason or another (yeah, I could look it up, but really). So I'm thinking more Evita Peron -- not that she was much of a president.
And hey, didn't Woodrow Wilson's wife pretty much run the country for the last year-and-a-half of his presidency?

QUESTION: which bear is the best bear? black or brown. also if i was born out of the US to a citizen mom and a non citizen dad can i be president? assuming the consitution will let me when i turn 40.

A woman as president is not the problem here.
It's that Dick Cheney is planning to continue to call the shots and is bunkered in his undisclosed location - that's the prob.

@Cameron Fredman: it says PERSON, women aren't people!

@AngryBlakGuy: No, as you can see from her clearly defined Adam's apple... she's not a woman.