• May 26, 2012
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February 19, 2008

Barack Obama Has a Cold, American Empire Crumbles

by Jim Newell  

It’s that damnable O.C.S. bug that’s been plaguing Hope everywhere! Barack Obama, King of Hawaii and Kansas and Africa and Illinois and, what else, Spain, has a cold and cannot govern America.

According to the Dallas Morning News, our immortal leader sometimes poses like the mortals, like Jesus did when he was a carpenter:

He stopped his opening remarks at a roundtable discussion on predatory lending to clear his throat, explaining that he’d been campaigning in a climate colder than the mild temperatures of San Antonio. At least once during the discussion he hacked a terrible cough.

This “terrible cough,” according to political insiders, sounds eerily similar to a Deval Patrick speech from 2006.

Cover your mouth [Trail Blazers]

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