Hillary Clinton Says Barack Obama Shouldn’t Use Words, Money To Campaign

Guttural howls and barter would be OKHillary Clinton continues to suggest her rival Barack Obama is too stylish, and also he is a thiever of words and slippery when it comes to campaign finances. In other words, he is a “politician.” Hillary Clinton finds this repellent and disappointing, and wants voters to know it.

“Facts are important,” she told reporters, who know nothing about these “fact” things except that they are somehow related to unicorns. “I’m a facts person. If your whole candidacy is based on words, it should be your own words.”

Her campaign also suggested that, should Obama win the Democratic nomination, he should accept public financing for the general election just as he said he would a year ago. Of course, back then he was just an impoverished senator with a nickle in his pocket and big dreams for the future. Now that money has corrupted him and his supporters actually want him to win the thing, that’s a different matter.

“We’re just not going to be lectured on this,” said Obama’s campaign manager, David Plouffe.

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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