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It seems New York Times health care columnist Paul Krugman has taken a President’s Day vacation from predictable Hillary-coddling; in today’s column, he criticizes Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for not caring about poverty as much as John Edwards fake-cared. Krugman’s so-so fare today allows “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol to dazzle in his stead, like in the good old days.

Here’s how our bomb-worshiping Kristol opens his thinkpiece — “Democrats Should Read Kipling” — today:

Browsing through a used-book store Friday — in the Milwaukee airport, of all places — I came across a 1981 paperback collection of George Orwell’s essays. That’s how I happened to reread his 1942 essay on Rudyard Kipling.

Ha ha, because they don’t read in Milwaukee! All they do is wear cheese hats and drink Miller Lite and fart and die.

Kristol enjoyed George Orwell’s essay so much on his plane ride that he was able to convert it into a modern New York Times column, for which he was desperately seeking a topic before deadline:

The Democrats won control of Congress in November 2006, thanks in large part to President Bush’s failures in Iraq. Then they spent the next year seeking to ensure that he couldn’t turn those failures around. Democrats were “against” the war and the surge. That was the sum and substance of their policy. They refused to acknowledge changing facts on the ground, or to debate the real consequences of withdrawal and defeat. It was, they apparently thought, the Bush administration, not America, that would lose. The 2007 Congressional Democrats showed what it means to be an opposition party that takes no responsibility for the consequences of the choices involved in governing.

And then Mowgli and his friends, Stern Panther and Crazy Brown Bear, sought to eliminate telecom amnesty in the House surveillance bill:

But for the House Democrats, sticking it to the phone companies — and to the Bush administration — seemed to outweigh erring on the side of safety in defending the country.

And then everyone died forever when Shere Khan (OBAMA) blew up the Guantanamo Bay with his “present votes.”

Congrats, Bill Kristol — your column was worse than Paul Krugman’s today!

Krugman: Poverty is Poision [NYT]
Kristol: Democrats Should Read Kipling [NYT]

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