Wonkette

McCain is talking to the CPAC! Will he be booed offstage? How many times will Walnuts say “my friends” to this assemblage of enemies? Let’s see!3:23: They are going to kill him with thanks.
3:24: I didn’t mean to tell you people to go fuck yourselves last year, it was just that I was trying to look like a loser…
3:25: I sat down with Governor Romney and told him to fuck himself.
3:26: So conciliatory…he is clearly just reading from the teleprompter.
3:28: Ronald Reagan! DRINK!!
3:29: And again. And again.
3:31: He has genuine convictions. The proof is that he is constantly taking loser positions in various important primary states. He campaigned in Iowa against farmers, and in Florida against old people!
3:32: Wild applause for his (new) tax policies. Also, he will execute the counterinsurgency.
3:34: Holy crap they are booing! He is grinning and they are booing about immigration. Now hooting.
3:35: “Secure the borders,” blah blah blah. But will he deport everyone?
3:38: Remember how Bill Clinton was totally responsible for 9/11? The next “Democrat president” will probably be responsible for something similar.
3:39: My friends, I hate the earmarks and I love the line item veto! Taxcutstaxcuts. Wild applause again. Didn’t he already talk about this stuff? IS THIS THE ONSET OF SENILE DEMENTIA?
3:42: Now he is getting exercised about dire calamities and arbitrary deadlines.
3:44: He appreciates the awfulness of war. Annnnd…cue chanting! JAMMAKAIN! JAMMAKAIN!
3:47: I have not hesitated to respectfully tell you people to go fuck yourselves, and I will continue to do that in the future, even after I have sought your counsel.
3:48: He fears the nibbling away of liberty. Also, have you heard he is a maverick? That means he is imperfect and makes mistakes, but his balls they are made of brass. Thank you and God bless!