Wonkette

Hey there, what’s this “Live on the Internets” thing that you people do? There’s some typey and then some more typey and then your editor abandons you for a new post? Let’s do it!7:10: Scarborough: Sure, he won this one, but did you know the Hispanics don’t like him?
7:11: Rachel Maddow: He needs to “beat the spread.” Saucy!
7:12: Tom Brokaw says we are paying far too much attention to the crap we’re all saying (”conventional wisdom”).
7:14: On this very important occasion, Fox News is playing old timey video of Ellis Island immigrants? But what about Barack Obama? Did he beat the spread in 1906?
7:16: Glenn Beck wonders why everyone doesn’t just mate with everybody else. Amy Holmes: My mom did!
7:18: According to Wolf Blitzer, a bunch of stuff will be happening soon but not yet.
7:21: White men love Clinton and Obama just about equally.
7:21: White women love Clinton more.
OK! Time for some boring Republican coverage …
7:24: Shepard Smith, speaking only in gerunds!
7:26: Glenn Beck: One option is selling your soul to the devil. Tempting!
7:27: Voting for John McCain is like voting for Hannibal Lecter?
7:27: Jonah…Is that Johan Goldberg? For the first time in ever, an Internet personality is somewhat less repellent in person than one might have imagined.
7:29: We are settling on CNN because that is the station the television likes best. Also, what other network has horrible old Bill Bennett on it?
7:30: Obama wins Georgia with 1,375 votes. With 1 percent in. How many officials will he have to suck off in order to win?
7:32: McCain, Huckabee, Romney in three-way clusterfuck.
7:36: OMG a freedom-hating tornado has struck Memphis, Tennessee! People were still at the polls.
7:38: Jeffrey Toobin just called Lou Dobbs “Wolf.” Toobin, DO YOU SEE A BEARD?
7:39: Gloria Borger: Voters don’t like to be told how to vote, which is why political campaigns are always so unsuccessful.
7:40: Gergen refuses to predict whether Obama will win any more states.
7:42: Dobbs believes the Northeast is prejudiced toward the South, but he is not including any of the Northeasterners present because that would be rude.
7:44: Hey, anybody else getting a Ron Paul ad right now? Did you know Ron Paul has delivered hundreds of babies?
7:47: Ooh, very interesting exit poll info examining that Very Tight Race!
7:47: Everything in Georgia is divided into 60/40 camps, such as 64% evangelicals and…shit that graph went away. You get the idea. The point is, somebody needs a drink right now.
7:49: 70% of GA Republicans have been living under a rock.
7:49: Gaack, 9 polls closing in just 10 minutes! How will they all be live blogged???
7:50: Bill Bennett: There is no profile of the McCain supporter. That is because they are gelatinous shape-shifting minxes like that gal in the superheroes movie. You know the one.
7:54: Back to Fox. O’Reilly: “Psychologically, it will be over tonight.” Hmm.
7:55: MSNBC: Russert salivating over New Jersey and Massachusetts. “Look at it.”
7:56: Keith Olbermann is sitting like he’s really cold or maybe like Chris Matthews just farted. A real “don’t touch me” sort of look.
7:58: Annnd…back to CNN. Roland Martin points out that Hillary Clinton has no home state, because she is eternal and without origin or end.
8:00: Projection: John McCain gets Connecticut. Romney carries Massachusetts. Illinois: McCain. No more projections for the Republicans, boo.
8:01: Democrats: Illinois to Obama, Oklahoma to Clinton…but who will win Texas?