Romney Will Be King Of California And Nowhere Else

I can has techmologies?According to John Zogby’s latest poll, Republican Senator John “Walnuts!” McCain is leading pretty much everywhere except in the great state of California, where conservatives want a leader with executive experience and magic underoos.

As for the Democrats, everything is fucked forever, hooray! Clinton’s ahead in New Jersey, Obama’s ahead by a hair in Missouri, California’s a tossup…expect a strong last-minute showing by Mike Gravel, who will be crowned the Jackalope King sometime in 2009. [Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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