Wonkette

According to John Zogby’s latest poll, Republican Senator John “Walnuts!” McCain is leading pretty much everywhere except in the great state of California, where conservatives want a leader with executive experience and magic underoos.As for the Democrats, everything is fucked forever, hooray! Clinton’s ahead in New Jersey, Obama’s ahead by a hair in Missouri, California’s a tossup…expect a strong last-minute showing by Mike Gravel, who will be crowned the Jackalope King sometime in 2009. [Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby]