John McCain Is President of Washington, DC!

Our favorite geriatric, Hero Maverick John McCain, finally has that unstoppable “mitt-mentum” we’ve heard so much about this month — McCain won the D.C. GOP straw poll! Suck it, Ron Paul! It was a pretty big win for Walnuts, considering the Paultards showed up like they do at every pointless straw poll. Anyway, your tortured old man won 45% , Romney got 35%, Dr. Congressman Ron Paul placed third with 8%, Ex-Hero Rudy Giuliani got 6%, and Reverend Minister Nice Mike Huckabee was in last place with 5%, because if there’s one place in America where GOP loyalists are not down with helping the black people, it’s Washington. [DC GOP]