Elvis Secretly Alive, Black, Crazy About Hillary

Hey, remember when the Clintons lived in the south? Arkansas or somewhere? State where a lot of the Democrats are black? Hillary went back there this week to touch base with the folks and got a big nod from the King himself -- Elvis! Or, to be more accurate, "Belvis," the black Elvis.

Clinton was making nice with some people at a Little Rock diner when she was accosted by Dwayne Turner, aka Belvis, who serenaded her with the opening bars of "Blue Suede Shoes," much to the ex-First Lady of Arkansas' delight. Belvis, who was a child during the Clinton governorship, explained why he's got '90s throwback fever:

I said, 'how come the white kids get bused in my community, but we got to walk to go to school?' And [Bill] said 'Really?' ....Three weeks later we had buses.

Oh, Bill! If only you'd been able to provide transportation for every future flamboyant local character back in the '80s, your wife would have been presidentyearsago.

According to media on hand, Hillary wasn't just there for the cross-racial musical impersonators, though.

Candidate Hillary Clinton left the event with peach cobbler in hand. "We're going to take it to the plane and we are going to heat it up and we are going to serve it."

If the grim determination in that quote doesn't put you off peach cobbler forever, I don't know what will.

Sources say Barack Obama is heavily lobbying for an endorsement from "Whike", the white Ike Turner.

 Belvis the Black Elvis visits Hillary [ABC]

 Clinton and the King [AP]

 "Black Elvis" serenades Hillary Clinton -- note Hillary's terrifyingly motionless hair [YouTube]